Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Carl Danner, authority on what not to buy

On Friday, December 16, we had a trip to K-mart. "The store is full of pajamdras in December", I told La Netta.

"All the stores are", said La Netta. "I'll just tell you."

We walked in.

"James, there's nightclothes to your left", said La Netta.

"Thanks, La Netta", I told her. I avoided looking to my left very carefully, and shifted my body over to my right.

"Ooh", said Carl, getting excited over something.

"I guess World Market will be your day", said La Netta.

We looked at jewelry. La Netta, Carl and I all had a good time. Carl wanted the lady to show him several pieces of jewelry. La Netta checked out the jewelry too.

When we walked past, I saw something to my right with Dipser-man. "Ewwwwwww!", I shrieked.

Next, we looked at more clothes. We stopped by the men's shoes.

"You might want to avoid looking to your right", La Netta said.

"Thanks, La Netta", I replied. I leant over to the left.

"Now, these shoes . . .", Carl said. Carl went over four types of shoes. He went into a lengthy harangue about this type of shoes being for young woman, that type of shoe being for older women, and a fourth type of shoe being for Catholic schoolgirls.

I sighed.

"I think we'll do that at World Market", La Netta said. "How will that make you feel?"

"La Netta", I asked, "Do you know why I did that?"

"No, why?"

"Because Carl really annoys me when he gives his rants about how you shouldn't buy this product because this is for so-and-so."

"Oh," said La Netta. "I didn't know why you did that."

La Netta told me to avoid looking at the pajamdras nearby, and I made it past them safely. But when we got past the soda vending machine, I saw a magazine with Winnxe the Pooh and Piglet on the cover.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrr!", I said.

We made it out at last.

"Well, James, at least you didn't see any nightclothes", said La Netta. "That was a good thing."

"It was", I replied.

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