Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Bernard says there's a Frosty Freeze

On Sunday, December 18, Stan told me, "I'm going to need you to ride with me, not now, but in a few minutes".

A few minutes later, Stan knocked.

"Are you ready?", I asked.

"Yes", Stan replied.

Stan chatted on his cellphone as we drove.

"Stan, did you say the M-word?", I asked.

"No, I didn't", Stan replied.

We stopped by somebody's house so Maurice could get in. "Nick, scxxt over", said Bernard.

"Rrrrrrrrrr!", I said.

"Did I say something?", asked Bernard.

"Yes, you said the SC-word", I replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry", said Bernard.

Stan made another stop. "No one get out here", he said.

I looked around, and saw a sign that said "C-tibank". I growled.

Jason and Bernard started talking. While Jason was conversing with Bernard, he said "ice xxxxx".

"You're right, that's the ice xxxxx place", said Bernard.

"Blechhh!", I said.

"Sorry, James."

Jason and Bernard went girl-watching as I sat in the back. "Is there a Frosty Freeze here?", I asked. "Is that the place Jason's talking about?"

"Yes, there is", replied Bernard.

"Stan Man, is there a Frosty Freeze here?", I asked when Stan got back into the van.

"No, there isn't", he said. "Why do you even need to know; it's not like you can see it?"

"Well, Jason said there was an I-word place here, so I asked Bernard if it was a Frosty Freeze and he said yes."

"Oh."

We drove back home and Stan thanked us all for coming with him. I went into the restroom and purged off the "nice"s and "I see"s and everything and then got to "ice xxxxx": "adolice cradoleam, adolice cradoleam . . ."

Then I went into my room and did "scxxt over". I had thought of some "scxxt this way"s while I was waiting to purge, so I did them and then scraped my nails across my groin to do "scadoloot over".

"Scadoloot over", I repeated. "Scadoloot over, scadoloot over". My hands swiveled from the left of my schlong to the right of my schlong and lopsidedly went down on the right. Finally "scxxt over" came up.

At last I did "C-tibank": "Sadolitibank, Sadolitibank . . ."

When I was finished I checked my email.

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