Wednesday, September 28, 2011

My fight with Levette

I was out of my room at 8:00 to heat up some piroshkis for dinner. While I was heating them up, I heard Levette talking on his cellphone in the door to the office.

Did he say "pxking around"?

"Levette?", I asked, walking up to him.

He kept talking on his cellphone.

"Levette?", I repeated. "Did you say the P & A words?"

Still talking.

"Levette?", I asked a third time.

"What is it, James?", asked Levette.

"Did you say tie P & A words?"

"I don't know. I'm on the phone. I don't like it when you listen in on my phone call."

"You were carrying it out right in front of me!"

"It's rude to eavesdrop on other people's calls."

"I wasn't eavesdropping! You were carrying it out where I could hear!"

"Then don't listen."

"I can't not listen."

"Would you like it if someone listened in on your phone calls?"

"I wouldn't mind."

"Well, I mind."

"Do you know what the P & A words are?"

"No, I don't. And it's none of your business what I said!"

"You made it my business! You carried your phone call out right in front of me!"

"You walked over to where I was to listen!"

I grabbed a sheet of paper that had all the purge words identified on it.

"Here", I said. "I'm going to show you what the P & A words are."

"I don't want to see it", Levette said.

I pointed to a line on the paper:

P & A words: pxke around, as in "Tim spent an hour pxking around at Barnes & Noble.

"I didn't say that", said Levette.

I ate my piroshkis. Then when I was done, I came out. "Levette?", I said.

"Yes, James?", said Levette.

"May I clarify something?"

"What is it, James."

"I heard you saying the P & A words while I was at the microwave. I walked over because I heard the words, so I could ask you."

"That's OK, James", said Levette. "I was just tired."

"You were tired?"

"Yes. You're my friend, James."

"We're friends?"

"Yes, you're my friend."

Diarrhea, cha-cha-cha!

On Tuesday morning, we were driving to Lucky's when Ken said, "Gxtcha".

"Did Ken say the G-word, La Netta?", I asked.

"Yeah, he did", said La Netta.

We parked in front of Lucky's.

"When are we going to go into Lucky's?", I asked La Netta.

"Just a few minutes", she replied.

We walked in. La Netta showed me the way down a long aisle. When I got to the end, I saw the Tampicos. I picked up a tropical punch and a new flavor called pineapple coconut punch.

My hands were soon frozen as I carried them to the self check-out.

Afterwards, I asked La Netta, "Is there a restroom here?"

"Not to purge", she said.

"I have diarrhea."

"Then you need to go home."

She took me to the restroom, and I defecated out all my diarrhea, and wiped my rectum and cheeks clean. Then I purged off "gxtcha".

Once I came out, La Netta told me that she had called the office and told them to call Stan to pick me up. She said I couldn't come to program if I had diarrhea because it could be a virus.

We then stopped at Ross. Then La Netta drove over to Marshall's.

"They have headphones down this aisle", La Netta said.

I looked at the headphones. On the top right of the headphone display was a pair of Incredible Hulk headphones. Sine it said MARVEL COMICS at the top, I looked at the other Marvel items on the wire to make sure they didn't have any Dipser-man.

Then I noticed each letter in the MARVEL COMICS logo had a different superhero character in it. I looked, and the A had Dipser-man. "Ewwwwww!", I said.

"What?", asked La Netta.

I pointed to the letter A.

Lunch was at KFC. Once we made it into the restaurant, I walked into the restroom and began purging.

Someone knocked, and I came out.

The group talked with Aziz, Rosa and a client named Melvin. I asked about several purge words.

While they ate, I went in and purged some more. I still didn't get all the Dipser-mans.

We left, and embarked on drops. When we got to my house, La Netta asked me if I had taken my pills. I told her I hadn't.

"Why you have to purge?", she asked.

"The Marvel Comics logo?", I said. "Remember?"

"Well, you were in the restroom for a good forty minutes!"

Monday, September 26, 2011

A very quick I-word

At Miller's Knots today, La Netta asked me, "Did you work on your musical over the week-end?"

"Just a bit", I said.

Then she began talking to Margarita. "What did you do over the week-end?", she asked Margarita.

"Ate ice xxxxx", said Margarita.

"Really?", asked La Netta.

"Yeah."

"Did she say she ate the I-word?", I asked.

"Yeah, she did", said La Netta.

"Blechhh! I'll be in the restroom."

"OK."

I walked over and purged off chunky, schmierkasig ice xxxxx. It didn't take too long.

I came out and asked La Netta for hand sanitizer.

The bottle of hand sanitizer was on the table. "Here you go", said La Netta.

The damned produce commercial

On Friday, we went to the dollar store. La Netta showed me some headphones.

"I want to get these", she said.

"But they'll only make the sound softer, they won't block it out.", she said.

"OK, then don't get them."

I plugged my ears when the yogurt commercial came on.

The fifth commercial on the Intercom was about produce. "Summer is here," it said, "And check out our produce!" Strange, I thought it was the first day of autumn.

I plugged my ears and started to sing "Alouette", then I thought, "Wait a minute, didn't I listen to the produce commercial before? It's safe!"

I unplugged my ears, then the commercial said, "Watermelons, sweet and txsty!"

"Blechhh!", I said. "La Netta, I can't hold in the T-word. Is there a restroom here?"

"The sign said it was out of order", said La Netta.

"Dammit! Are we almost done?"

"Yes, but then we'll be getting lunch instead of going to a restroom."

The "txsty"s began multiplying in my head as we stood in line at the dollar store.

We left and were on the road. "He drives axx oxxx the pxxxx", said Ken.

"Ewww!", I said.

La Netta stopped at Jack-in-the-box and Burger King. "The quicker you order, the sooner we can get James to a restroom", she said.

We finally made it to Kennedy Grove. "Carl, James doesn't want to hear all that", La Netta said. "He's got business to take care of."

I made it to the restroom and spent about an hour purging off "txsty". I kept thinking the word to myself.

Then I did Ken's "axx oxxx the pxxxx".

I came out, and La Netta asked if I felt better. I told her I did.

"Was I in there for a very long time?", I asked.

"Yes, you was", said La Netta.

I asked her if she had the towel laid out. La Netta said she had forgotten it in the van.

Later, I inquired about a blue frok I saw littered on the ground. La Netta said, "You can usually tell the biodegradable ones because they're thicker".

"Thicker or thinner?", I asked.

"Thicker."

La Netta walked over.

"That just looks like a regular one", she said.

"So it's plastic?", I asked.

"Yep."

"Ewwwwwwww!"

I went to the restroom and got a paper towel. Then I held the paper towel over the plastic frok and picked up the handle. I carried it into the garbage in the restroom. Next, I purged.

I hung around with nowhere to sit down for about ten more minutes. Then, I could stand no more. I walked over to the restroom a third time, locked the door, and sat on the toilet seat until La Netta was ready to go.

Starting the Zoloft

"Time to go", said Stan Thursday morning.

"No, it's not!", I said.

"What did you say?"

"I said, 'No, it's not'."

"It is time to go, because you have your appointment at 9:00."

"If you say, 'It's time to' do something, I'll say, 'No, it's not'."

Stan came in a little later. "James! We need to go to your appointment!"

I gathered my sleep mask and red bag and turned off my white sound machine. I was soon out the door.

We drove all the way over to the Richmond Mental Health Clinic.

Dr. Luburic decided he'd see Bernard first. I told Stan Man that I was worried about hearing words in the waiting room.

"This room is as free from words as you'll get", said Stan.

I sat and sat as Stan Man went in for Bernard's appointment.

"I went to that bank", one employee told another. "C-tibank."

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

They said "C-tibank" two more times.

Shortly afterwards, they began talking about how bad the traffic was.

"Can we please talk about something else?", I asked.

"Pardon me?", an employee said.

"I asked, 'Can we please talk about something else?'."

"We're talking about traffic."

Pia showed up.

"Pia!", I said. "Stan's been in Bernard's meeting forever."

"It hasn't been that long", said Pia.

Finally, Dr. Luburic called me in all by myself.

There was no Stan or Pia in the office. Dr. Luburic asked me what had been going on in my life.

I told him about the execution of Troy Davis.

"Well, that's certainly been a huge news story", he said. "Why does it bother you?"

"Because they executed an innocent man . . . ", I said, " . . . and because it shows how broken and impenetrable the system is . . . and because of the racism involved . . . and because he looks like Stan Man."

We talked about starting liquid Zoloft. Dr. Luburic explained that we would start off at one milliliter and get higher.

"You can mix it with a txstier beverage", he said.

"Blechhh!", I said. "You said the T-word!"

I asked if we were done with the meeting, and he said yes.

I called out Stan's name. "Stan! Stan!"

Pia finally heard me. "Stan left."

"Oh, Pia, I can't hold in the T-word. Could you rush me to the restroom."

"Sure, but this is going to make your appointment take a little longer, OK?", she said.

"Oh, we're done with the meeting."

"You're done?"

"Yes."

"Did you talk about Troy?"

"We did."

"And did you talk about your tooth?"

"We did."

"Excellent!"

Pia left me at the restroom while Rodney's meeting went on. I started with "txstier": "tadolastier, tadolastier, tadolastier . . ."

The guy in the stall next to mine asked for a toilet seat cover, so I gave one to him.

Then I went onto "C-tibank".

"Are you on your cellphone?", I asked the guy in the other stall.

"I am", he said.

"You're conversation's bothering me."

"Well, I don't care."

"Dammit!"

"Sorry."

As I purged off "C-tibank", I may have heard his interlocutor say two "whxxps"es.

I purged the "whxxps"es off when I was done with "C-tibank".

I waited around for Pia to pick me up.

"We're ready", said Pia.

I went to her van. "My sleep mask and red bag are in Stan's van", I said.

Pia said she could deliver them to the office.

"So now you have a new medication", she said.

"Right", I replied.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Carl's money disappears

"I saw Troy on the news", said La Netta this morning. "They're going to execute him toeay."

She saw the look on my face.

La Netta drove over to Miller's Knots where we could rest awhile. She said after this we were going to Falls Paredes. "James, we can look at you some headphones -- some of those kind that go in your ears."

"The best kind of headphones are the kind they have at Home Depot', said Carl. "Those are what you want. But they cost $80."

"I'm not willing to pay that kind of money on them", I said.

"How about this deal? I buy you some Home Depot headphones and you buy me that computer I've wanted."

We were in front of Fallas Paredes. Carl carried an empty canister of coffee with money in it. He said there were $20 in there.

"There's clearly not $20", said La Netta.

"Yes, there is", said Carl. "I counted. I have a $10 bill in there and $8 in quarters."

"There's no $10 bill in here", said La Netta.

"Let me see", said Carl.

La Netta handed Carl the coffee canister. Carl looked. "You're right!", Carl said. "There's no $10 bill! And my quarters are gone!"

Somebody iad stolen Carl's money.

"I think it you have a Jason at your house", I said.

"No, it has to be Ken", said Carl. "Ken's stolen my money before, and he lives in my house."

"It wasn't Ken", said La Netta.

"Doesn't Alfonso live with you?", I asked.

"Alfonso Bravo?", he said. A long-haired Alfonso who lives at Carl's house, of course; not CIWP's Alfonso Sanchez.

"Well, I'll tell you what", said La Netta. "Let's count your money."

They had $2 in dimes, nickels and pennies.

"You saw shirts for $1.10?", asked La Netta. "You can buy a shirt, and I'll buy you a shirt."

"It will be enough for one T-shirt and one tank top", said La Netta.

We were soon at Fallas Paredes. La Netta told me, "You don't want to look to the right."

I avoided looking right. Then I followed La Netta down an aisle.

"Are these pajamdra pants?", I asked.

"No, James", La Netta said.

"These are sweatpants?"

"Yes."

"James, don't look down this aisle", said Carl. "There's Disney characters."

"OK, thanks for telling me," I said.

We then walked down an aisle of shoes, with many flip-flops on the floor.

"They need to clean this up", said La Netta.

La Netta then took me over to the headphones. "See?", she said. "These are the kind Taylor was talking about."

"Skull Candy?", I asked.

"Yeah. These ones have a skull on the box, but not on the earbuds. It says 'chatter reduction'."

Then she took me down and found some more earbuds. "These ones say 'noise reduction", she said. "The other ones might do the job better; they said 'chatter reduction'."

Carl and La Netta looked at shirts together.

As we neared the end of our trip to Fallas Paredes, a new rap song came on.

"Did this song rap the P & A words?", I asked.

"Yes", La Netta said.

"They said it?!"

"Actually, no, they didn't say it yet, but it is in this song."

"You mean they sing the P & A words later in this song?"

"Yes."

I plugged my ears and started to sing "Alouette" loudly.

Pretty soon I was this far in the song:

Alouette, gentille alouette,
Alouette, je te plumerai
Je te plumerai le cul
Je te plumerai le cul
Et le cul, et le cul
Et le pied, et le pied
Et le sein, et le sein
Et les ailes, et les ailes
Et le cou, et le cou
Et le nez, et le nez
Et le bec, et le bec
Et la tête, et la tête,
Alouette, alouette
Oh, oh, oh, oh . . .


La Netta was saying some things but I couldn't hear them.

We were right by the door. I stepped outside.

"I'm still inside; we're waiting on Carl", said La Netta.

Finally, Carl came out. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Next was Big Lots. When we went in, I saw a basket.

"Look at this, James," La Netta told me. When I looked she had an advertisement paper in her hands. I saw her fold it up, then she pointed to headphone systems.

"Oh", I said. I then unfolded it and saw what I had seen. There was Halloween stuff advertised -- mostly decorations for the door. One item was an octagonal wxb with a dipser in it.

"You don't want to look", said La Netta.

"Too late, I had already seen it", I said.

"I don't understand. Why did you look?"

"I told you. Because I had already seen that part of the paper."

We looked at various aisles, such as the chips and the juices. Carl alerted my attention to the candy aisle.

One candy box said PUPPETS. I saw Dipser-man in there.

"Ewwwwwww!", I said.

"James, you probably want to go down here", said La Netta.

We looked at more earbuds in Big Lots. La Netta picked out a whole plethora of bottles of juice for her shopping basket.

La Netta made her purchase at the cieck-out, and we exited Big Lots.

While we were driving to Taco Bell, Ken said, "Gxtcha!"

"Did Ken say the G-word, La Netta?", I asked.

"No, I didn't, James", Ken said.

"La Netta?"

"Yes", said La Netta.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"La Netta," said Carl. "Don't say 'yes'. Say 'right'."

"When La Netta said 'yes', I thought she was answering my question."

"I was", said La Netta. "He did say the word."

Carl got lunch at Taco Bell, while I stayed in the van thinking about Troy Davis.

We soon reached Davis Park. When I got out of the van, I discovered the restrooms were locked! I couldn't get in to purge!

"La Netta", I said. "Can we go somewhere with a restroom after Davis Park?"

"I was thinking about doing that", La Netta. "But going from here to Carl and Ken's house, all there is is Wal-mart, and Carl doesn't do upstairs."

We left without stopping for restroom use. Before we drove off, La Netta asked me the man's name, and I told her it was Troy Davis. She looked it up on her cellphone.

She read about the case via her cellphone's connection to the Internet. "Did you see what he looks like, James?", La Netta asked.

"Yes," I said. "He's African-American with glasses."

"See him?", La Netta said, holding the cellphone up to Carl.

"He looks like Stan", said Carl.

"He does", I said.

"Not really", said Ken.

"Is that part of why it bothers you so much?", asked La Netta.

"Yes", I said.

La Netta dropped us home, where I emptied the water out of my wastebasket and took it into the house.

Once inside, I did some serious purging! Then it was time for looking at the Internet, where I learned Troy was scheduled to be executed at 4:00 in my time zone.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Troy Davis case

When I climbed into the van this morning, I was the only client in the van. La Netta said Carl would be picked up later, as would Ken.

"I saw that guy you told me about on the news", said La Netta. "They're going to execute him today."

"Troy Davis?", I asked.

"Yes."

"Oh, no!", I said.

"And it was just like you said; the witnesses were changing their testimony and saying it was someone else now."

"But on Friday you told me the news said they weren't going to execute him."

"I think that was a different guy. Now I paid attention to the news since we had talked aboot him and I got a good look at him."

"Is he African-American with glasses?"

"Yeah, that's him."

La Netta asked me if I wanted piroshki or pastry, if there was anywhere I wanted to go. I told her nowhere came to mind.

La Netta drove to the office and said I could rest on the couch until 9:45.

Carl showed up while we were at the office.

"What's wrong?", asked La Netta. "You look so unhappy."

"I'm thinking about Troy Davis", I replied.

"Did you pray for him?"

"Yes."

La Netta and Carl then agreed on a schedule for today. We would go to Las Montañas and then Taco Bell.

When we visited Montañas, we hit the pastry section. Carl dropped the pastry he selected with the tongs.

"Just tell her you don't want that one", said La Netta. "Tell her it fell and get another one."

Carl dropped his next pastry too.

Finally Carl brought three pastries up to the cash register and told her he was only buying one.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to buy any pastries?", La Netta asked me.

"I'm sure", I replied.

We then stopped at Taco Bell. I asked La Netta what I could have for $5. She suggested one of their new flat breads.

I was first to order and ordered a soft-shell taco, a flat bread sandwich and a chicken chalupa. It came out to $5.16.

Carl ordered his lunch, and everyone got napkins. We were soon set to go.

"Here's a game", Carl said. "We'll name as many songs as we can that mention weather."

"'Purple Rain' by Prince", I said.

"'I Can See Clearly Now'."

"Listen to the rhythm of the falling lane."

"'Walking on the Sun'."

"'Both Sides Now' by Judy Collins."

"'I'll Be Home for Christmas'."

"The Sesame Street theme song. You know . . . sunny day, sweeping the clouds away."

"Good! I'd forgotten about that one! 'I Can't Stand the Rain'." That was a song Carl wrote.

"'We Belong' by Pat Benatar."

We went on like this for the next few minutes as La Netta made her McDonald's order. While she was ordering, I saw a creamy drink on a McDonald's song advertised as "SHXKE".

We were soon at Kennedy Grove. La Netta told me she had the towel. I went into the restroom. While I was there, I saw a eipser in the corner. I covered it up with a paper towel.

I purged off the dipser when I heard La Netta call my name.

"La Netta?", I said.

"Yes", said La Netta.

"Did you call my name?"

"Yes. I wanted to tell you we're going back into the van."

"Oh, OK."

I finished up purging and washed my hands, then came out to the van.

It turned out they had wanted to get away from the wasps at the park. We out our Taco Bell and McDonald's inside the van.

At 1:19, La Netta drove somewhere else. At 1:59, La Netta took Ken and Carl home.

Then it was my turn. As we drove La Netta noticed me hitting myself. "What's wrong?", asked La Netta.

"Troy Davis", I said.

"OK, James, we're here", said La Netta, as she pulled up to my home.

La Netta noticed I was still nervous. I explained that I was thinking about Troy Davis again.

"You're be all right", said La Netta.

But I bet Troy won't.

Monday, September 19, 2011

September party!

Friday was the date of our September birthday party. CIWP would hold a potluck at Miller's Knots and serve cake. It was for all our September birthdays. Ken, however, would not be coming, as he was home with his family.

We started with a trip to Las Montañas, at which I bought two prickly pears. La Netta got a lot of pastry. As we stood in line, I thought I saw pajamdra pants.

"Is she in her pajamdras?", I asked La Netta.

"Hmm?", La Netta asked.

"Is she in her pajamdras?"

"Yes she is. I just saw her."

"Ewwwwwwwwwwww!"

"Isn't that awful?"

"Yeah."

We then stopped at Taco Bell. Kay had offered to buy me Chinese food, but La Netta thought she might not deliver. "Do you want to get Taco Bell, just in case Kay doesn't bring your Chinese food?", asked La Netta.

"I guess", I replied.

I got a soft-shell taco, a Crunch Wrap Supreme and a chicken chalupa.

We then stopped at the park. It was 10:45 already, but we were the only ones there.

At 11:00, I started to take my pill. Then Donna's van pulled up.

Soon Tiffany came. She had Snodgrass with her.

As we got out of our vans and sat at the tables, Snodgrass began saying, "Bxke! Bxke! Bxke! Bxke!"

I told La Netta I'd be at the restrooms to purge.

As I came out I saw white hair. Was that Kay?

"Kay!", I shouted.

I came closer. "Kay!"

"Yes, it's me, James", said Kay. "Got something for you. Want to eat it here?"

"Actually, I don't have my chopsticks", I said.

"Now they have a no-hugging rule", I told Tiffany. "Isn't that horrible?"

"I'm not allowed to hug you anymore?", asked Tiffany.

"You're not."

"That is horrible!"

I sat on the towel on the bench. I spoke with Tiffany.

Then Taylor said, "Making sure we have an exe on everyone".

"Ewwwwwwwwww!", I said.

"Go take care of that", said La Netta.

I went to the restroom and purged some more. Then I came back and saw Kay again.

"James, I have your Chinese food. Want me to put it in your van?"

"Yes, Kay", I replied.

Someone said that someone had "a frok" in his hands.

"Metal, plastic or cornstarch?", I asked.

"I wouldn't risk it", said La Netta. "Don't look."

I went to the restroom again to purge off the F-word.

Kay informed me that she had put my Chinese food next to my Taco Bell on the back seat, I thanked her.

"Bxke!", said Snodgrass. "Bxke! Bxke!"

"James, you're doing really well", said Tiffany. "There's a lot of talking here."

I considered going down to purge off Snodgrass' latest round of "bxke"s, but then someone announced they were going to sing to the birthday celebrants.

"Tully, scxxt down", said Tiffany. "Scxxt down."

"Rrrrrrrrrrrr! Rrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Oh, I'm so sorry", said Tiffany. "Move over, Tully. Oh, James, are you OK?"

"Yes."

"I feel horrible", said Tiefany.

"Pxrdon?", asked Maria.

"RRRRRRRRRRR!", I growled.

"What's wrong?", asked Tiffany.

"Maria said her word", I answered her question.

"Sorry, James", said Maria.

They called Carl over so they could sing happy birthday to everyone.

"Happy birthday to you", the singers began. "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear James . . . Carl . . . Ken . . . Shawn. Happy birthday to you!"

As soon as the song finished, I hit the restroom and began purging off the "bxke"s. Then I did the "pardon" and finally the two "scxxt"s.

By the time I finished up, almost everybody had left. Kay was still there, but she left soon and left with wishes that I enjoy my Chinese food.

I took both pills, and the group was ready to leave.

The seventh annual annual

On Thursday, we all hit the office to prepare for my annual meeting. Lita was off vacationing in Hawaii, but Taylor Stussi (the new behiaviorist), Pia, Stan, Bonnie Whitcomb and La Netta would all be there.

I lay on the couch and then Bonnie Whitcomb came in.

"Do you think you should keep your finges out of your mouth?", she asked.

"No . . . not really", I said.

"How are things going at your group home?"

"Not very well."

"What's bothering you?"

"Fillings."

"You said your feelings?"

"No, I said 'fillings'."

"You don't want to get them?"

"I don't."

"Well, that's your choice, but you do have to live with the consequences, right?"

"Right."

Eventually my meeting began and we all packed into the conference room. Someone passed around goal sheets.

The first goal was participating in group activities. We talked about how I used to hear the K & E words when we went everywhere. La Netta aid I had vastly improved. Taylor said we could keep this goal and just set the bar higher.

The next goal was hygiene. They talked about my showering frequency.

"James was taking three showers a week", someone said. "And the baseline was two showers a week."

"How often do you shower now?", asked Stan.

"Thrice a week", I said.

"So you went back?"

"No, I am showering thrice a week."

"You were showering twice a week?"

"Not twice. Thrice."

"Thrice? Three times."

"Yes."

Bonnie Whitcomb spoke up and said it seemed odd that my program had a showering goal as a goal for program when showering is something I do at home.

"What I think the real issue here is is the hugs", said Taylor. "Now you used to hug La Netta, and that was your reward system. But now we have the sexual training, STARS. And Shane said it was inappropriate for coaches to give clients hugs. You saw that rule as restrictive, right?"

"I wouldn't say it was restrictive", I said. "That's not the word I used. The actual word I used was 'fascist'."

"Oh, yes. I remember that in your blog. You did use that word!"

"Now, do you love to hug everyone, or is it just certain people?", asked Bonnie Whitcomb.

"Well, I'll put it this way", I said. "I don't seek out hugs from Pia, but I do like to hug Stan. If Robert Bradley tried to hug me, I'd hug him reluctantly . . . and when Snodgrass wants to hug me, I tell him no way!"

"So it's only certain people you like to hug."

"Yes. My friends."

"Are you saying you and I aren't friends?", asked Pia.

"Uh . . . . . . . ."

"Be honest."

"We're not."

"Oh! Well, maybe we can become friends."

"Well, hopefully we can found the middle ground between appropriate and inappropriate", said Taylor. "I don't want to tell you that you can never hug La Netta again. But maybe . . . find a better rewards system?"

The next goal was interacting with my peers. We agreed that since I had never had a problem with this point, this goal should be scrapped.

We thought of possible new goals, and La Netta suggested a cooking goal. She mentioned how Carl was supposed to cook at the office, but seldom did that.

"Carl and James get along real well", said Stan. "I imagine they would be great cooking together!"

Another idea was for me to write to Oliver Sacks, as Bonnie Whitcomb mentioned. My goal could be to write so many letters per week about logaesthesia.

My fourth goal was wearing my headphones. Taylor suggested I get earbuds that fit into my ears. He name-dropped Skull Candy.

"I don't like the skulls", I said.

"They make products without the skulls too", Taylor said. "Or you could get Sony or Phillips."

We discussed the gaps between songs and how I sometimes hear purge words during the gaps. Taylor said that with an iPod there are no gaps.

My blog was mentioned. Taylor said that reading it gave him insight into the workings of CIWP.

"The only issue I'm concerned about is the privacy", said Bonnie Whitcomb. "A random person might read it, and learn about Lita and Stan and Pia."

"I've talked about the privacy before", said La Netta.

Someone suggested that I might use code names for all the people in my blog. The long-time readers would know from the people's personality and positions who was who, but casual visitors who stumbled upon the blog would not be in on their identities.

"Can we choose our own names?", said Stan. "Because I have a good one for myself."

Then Bonnie Whitcomb asked what I did for my birthday. I said we had gone to Las Montañas.

"And we got Mountain Mike's pizza", added La Netta.

"Oh yes, that too," I said.

"What are we going to get you for your birthday?", asked Stan. "You said you didn't want pineapple upside-down cake."

"I said I did want a pineapple upside-down cake?"

"You did? Whxxpsie!"

"D'OH!", I said, slamming my forehead. "D'OH! D'OH!"

"You said, 'Whxxpsie'," Pia told him.

"D'OH! D'OH! D'OH!"

"Well, go take care of that", said Stan.

"Is the meeting over?", I asked.

"Yes," someone replied.

I went out and purged in the restroom. When I came back, I lay on the couch.

I lay uontil I accidentally opened my eyes widely and moved my hand. I saw the drawings on the wall. I checked, and one was a Dipser-man drawing!

I rushed to the restroom and went in there to purge it off. I finally came oot, and stayed out until La Netta got me.

La Netta said that with all the time we had spent at the meeting, we were going to skip Trader Joe's and go straight on to lunch. We headed to the burrito truck, then went straight to Davis Park instead of Pinole Valley Park.

As soon as we were done eating our burritos, we threw away some trash and La Netta drove off.

"How do you think your meeting went?", La Netta asked me.

"It was great!", I replied.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Wacky radio

When I came out to the van today, La Netta asked me what was wrong. I asked her why she asked, and she said I looked depressed.

She started a cellphone call, then she took me out to Barnes & Noble, along with Ken and Carl. "Ken, stay with the group," she said.

La Netta put her cellphone back, then went inside Barnes & Noble when it opened at 9:00. After some time spent looking at magazines, she told me I could lead the group to the New Age section.

It must have taken five minutes to find New Age. When I got there, I found a book by Stanton Friedman on the science of UFO's. I browsed through the book, and saw "wxry" on one of the pages. I growled.

La Netta asked me if I was ready, and I said I was, so we headed over to movies and CD's.

I told La Netta all I saw was movies, so she said to go straight ahead. I walked forward until I saw the music section, but all I could see was country and children's music.

La Netta took me around to pop-rock. I looked for a few minutes.

"Are you OK?", asked La Netta.

"Yes, La Netta", I replied.

La Netta drove out in front of GNC. She started in on another cellphone call.

"La Netta", I asked, "Why are we still at El Cerrito Plaza?"

"Why? What's wrong?", asked La Netta.

"I thought we were going to the Pacific East Ranch Market after Barnes & Noble."

"Oh! You're right! I'm sorry, James. I don't know what I was thinking. Let me finish my phone call, then I'll take you over."

La Netta drove me over to the Pacific East Ranch Market. Once we went in, we walked towards the main store. I told La Netta I wanted mangosteens, so she took us to the produce section, where I found a net full of mangosteens for $6.99.

"Where do you want to go now?", she asked.

"I want some Chinese food", I said.

She took me over to the place with the Chinese food, the trays and the Styrofoam containers, and I placed some chow fun in the largest compartment of my Styrofoam. Then La Netta suggested I might like some broccoli beef. I assented, so she scooped in some of that.

"Ma'am?", I asked the lady.

"Yes?", she asked.

"What's that?"

"That's noodles", she said.

"Does it have crab in it?"

No response.

"Does it have crab in it?", I repeated.

"She doesn't understand", La Netta said.

"You know? Crab? The animal with a hard shell . . . and ten legs . . . you find it at the beach?"

"No, it doesn't", the lady said.

"OK", I said, and settled for sesame chicken.

La Netta poured some sesame chicken on, and asked, "Would you like a bit more?"

"I would", I replied.

She scooped some more on.

"That's too much", I said.

"May I have some of your chicken?", she asked.

"You may."

So La Netta closed the Styrofoam and tied up the bag. I paid for it, then we hit the cracker section, where I picked out some shrimp chips and some cassava chips.

La Netta asked if I was ready to leave, and I replied in the affirmative. We paid for our goodies, then left the store to hit the office.

"It's 11:04, if you want to take your pill", La Netta said.

"I can't take it", I said.

"Why? Did you see something?"

"I saw the W-word in a book I was reading."

"Oh, OK."

La Netta stopped at the office. She went in to use the women's, while I used the men's. I purged off "wxry", and we were ready to go to KFC.

The others ate lunch in KFC. I clipped my nails in the restroom, and put my nail clippers back in my pocket. I tried to take my pills, but there were these people holding a conversation.

We got into the van when everyone else was einished eating, then La Netta turned the radio off so I could take my pills.

After I took them, she turned the radio back on and songs played.

La Netta made a cellphone call. Eventually the songs ceased and the DJ, Larry Ickes, started talking.

"If you want to ask your boss for a raise or a promotion", he said, "Don't ask him while he's drinking or eating something sour or bitter. Studies show that the tastes in his mouth have a lot to do with his thought processes at the time. So wait a while to ask him. That lemon on my boss' desk. I better keep an exe on that."

"Ewwwwwwwwww!", I shouted.

"What?", asked La Netta.

"Didn't you hear what he said on the radio?"

"No, what?"

"He said, 'That lemon on my boss' desk. I better K-word an E-word on that'."

La Netta took me into Macy's, where I used the restroom to purge it off, then La Netta looked at clothes for a short while. Next was a vitamin store.

"If you want to look at the power bars, they're here", La Netta said.

I looked at them.

"Are you OK?", she asked.

"Yes", I replied sadly.

La Netta made a vitamin purchase, then asked me if I was sure I didn't want anything, and I said I didn't.

When we left, La Netta turned the van radio on once more. Commercials started.

In one commercial, a couple were driving recklessly, and one of them said, "Whxxps!"

"D'OH!", I shouted, slamming my forehead.

La Netta turned the commercial off immediately. "What's up with this radio today?"

We listened to some more KOIT once songs were playing again.

"Daughters" by John Mayer came on. I plugged my ears and shouted "ssem" when he sang, "Cleaning up the mxss he made".

La Netta was doing drops by now. We said good-bye to Ken and Carl, then when it came my turn, La Netta said, "This radio station you like has said a lot of words today."

"Just two words", I said. "The K & E words and the WH-word."

"Oh, really?", La Netta said.

"Yes. When the M-word came on in the John Mayer song I plugged my ears and said, 'Ssem', so I'm not counting that one."

"Oh, good."

I purged off "whxxps" when I got home. I suppose the lesson here is to keep the radio turned off when commercials are playing or when the DJ or DJ's are talking.

Beneath Carl

Yesterday morning, we programmed at Miller's Knots. We were outside so we could fill out sheets on our goals for our coming annual meetings.

"How well do you think you're doing with your headphone goal?", La Netta asked me.

"I'd say I'm putting my headphones on more often", I said.

"OK, and the next question is what is contributing to your progress or lack of progress on this goal?"

"Well, the fact that I have a better pair of headphones", I said. "These headphones are louder. So they give me more incentive to listen to them."

"Put down 'more hi-tech'," said Carl.

"You have a better headphone system, should I write that?", La Netta asked.

"A better sound system, I said.

"A better sound system."

"Write down, 'A better audio system'," said Carl. "Because that's what it's called."

"Audio system?", asked La Netta.

"A-U-D-I-O."

A man La Netta knew ran into her at the park, and they started to hold a conversation. At the end, he called her "sweetxe", and I growled.

"Did he say the WH-word?", I asked.

"Yes," La Netta replied.

"D'OH!", I said, slamming my forehead. "D'OH! D'OH! He really said the WH-word?"

"Yes."

"So he said both the WH-word AND the SW-word?"

"Oh wait, no, he didn't. just the SW-word."

"But you said he said the WH-word."

"I was thinking you meant the SW-word."

"Oh."

"Want to go to the restroom?"

"After we're done."

We finished going over all of my goals, and then I paid the sliding-door restroom a visit to purge off "sweetxe".

When I came back, La Netta was doing Carl's goals.

"Goal #1: Refrain from making rude comments", said La Netta. "I'd say you're doing better on that. What would you say contributes to your progress or lack of progress? is it we've had smaller groups, so you don't feel as much need for the attention to be on you?"

"That's not it", said Carl.

"It's because with the smaller groups, we don't have the clients he disdains like Adam or Snodgrass in the group", I said.

"Yes! That's it!", Carl said. "See? He gets me." Carl said Adam, Snodgrass, Tully, Robin and Rodney were "beneath" him, as was Nick. "It's like I'm the dipser, and they're the flies", he says.

"Carl, you think people are beneath you?", asked La Netta.

"They are beneath me!", he said.

"No one is better than anyone else", La Netta said. "We're all smart in different ways." La Netta talked about a church that only wanted people with college degrees. She said her own chorch didn't want to be like that church, and they emphasized that they took in everyone, including the prostitutes and the pimps. "James, do you feel like anyone is beneath you?"

"Yes", I replied.

"Who do you think is beneath you?"

"Snodgrass."

"Why do you think Shawn is beneath you? Because he says the B-word?"

"Because he crushes my Styroeoam leaning over to eat crumbs off the floor . . . and he pats my butt . . . and he pats your butt . . . and he fondles me."

"Oh, because he does things you don't like", La Netta said.

We stopped at the office, where La Netta used the restroom for a bit. I overheard Rosa, in the main room when La Netta, Carl and I were, saying either "drxpping" or "drxppy".

"Ewwwwwwwwwww!", I said.

"Take care of it in the restroom", La Netta said.

"Did she say it with an I-N-G or with a Y?"

"With a Y."

"It was with an I-N-G", said Carl.

I went to the restroom and purged off "drxppy". I had to go "dradolippy" down there -- ninety times.

We were finally ready to leave. Upon leaving, we hit K-mart, then we did lunch. First came In-N-out Burger, especially for me. I ordered my usual two hamburgers with onios only, and this time it came to to $4.24 instead of $3.78.

I looked at a sign and saw the word CREAM. I read the whole thing. REAL ICE XXXXX. There were pictures of milkshxkes below it.

"Blechhh!", I said.

"What?", Carl asked.

"Real I-word."

"Oh! Now I see it!"

The next stop was Taco Bell, so Carl and Ken could get there lunches.

Carl ordered his lunch, but the men's room was occupied. I then went in, and purged to my heart's content.

When I came out, Carl, Ken and La Netta were sitting in front of Taco Bell and eating their lunch. Carl and La Netta were discussing the former's goals.

I ate my In-N-out burgers while they discussed goals. I was really hungry!

We still had a lot of time left over, so La Netta visited Goodwill to make Carl happy.

This time Goodwill was playing 98.1 KISS-FM instead of KBLX. La Netta told me I might enjoy the Beach Boys album. Carl looked at other albums and books. I looked at the bookshelf, and saw a book with Dipser-man on the front cover and another Dipser-man head with the word MARVEL on the spine!

"Ewwwwwwwwwww!", I shrieked.

"What?", asked Carl.

I pointed to it.

"Oh, yeah."

I said good-bye to Carl and Ken, then La Netta dropped me home. I purged off the Dipser-mans for a long time before drinking some Hawaiian punch. That Hawaiian punch felt so good on my parched throat after that rugged, workaday purging.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

32 going on 33

Today I became my first power of two since my sixteenth birthday. I turned 32.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you", sang La Netta. "Happy birthday, dear Mr. James, happy birthday to you".

La Netta drove to the office, where we were scheduled. She learned the surprise news that Ken's annual meeting was today.

La Netta walked into the office. "Did that guy who was talking to Rosa say the C-word?", I asked Carl.

". . . and spend five minutes on the bxke", a coach with another group said.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"No, you didn't hear the C-word", said Carl. "But you did hear that word."

"The short form of 'bicycle'?"

"Yes."

"Where's La Netta?"

"She's in the restroom."

I walked into the men's and picked my navel. I came back out and someone told me La Netta was now in Lita's office. I told that someone I'd be in the men's until La Netta came out, at which case she should come and get me.

I spent what felt like an eternity in the men's room, with the fan blowing all the while. Finally, I opened the door, and La Netta knocked out of the women's.

I followed La Netta and asked her where she was. As I followed her, I walked through the counter and sink on one side and the plants on the other. Did I eeel a plant touching me?

"Did that guy who was talking to Rosa say the C-word?", I asked La Netta.

"No, James", La Netta replied.

"Did I touch a plant?"

"You didn't."

"You saw me?"

"I saw you."

La Netta agreed with Carl and Ken to schedule lunch at Mountain Mike's. Carl said the amount of pizza they had wouldn't be enough for us all. But La Netta got the idea to order one extra large pizza, which we could buy without going over our $20 allotment.

Before Ken's meeting, Stan Man came in. He brought me a $20 bill.

"Thanks, Stan Man", I said.

"You're welcome, James", he said.

I sat in the couch room while Ken had his annual in the conference room. La Netta was in the conference room, along with Lita, Stan Man and Ken's case manager.

When it finished, I asked Carl where La Netta was. I finally found La Netta and asked her if they had said "pajxmxs" at the annual.

"No, we weren't talking about that", said La Netta.

"Did they say the I-word?", I asked.

"Nope!"

We soon left to drive to Las Montañas. There I got $2.50 worth of baked goods.

"That cookie looks like . . .", Carl told La Netta about her cookie selection.

"Carl, that is gross!", La Netta said.

"Well, that's what it looks like!"

"Yours looks like it too!"

La Netta and Carl both paid for their baked goods when I was done.

I also found a box of Bombolín cookies, which were cheaper than the Esponjitas -- $3.something compared to $4.something.

La Netta asked if I was ready to hit the check-out, and I asked her if there were frozen foods at Las Montañas.

"No frozen foods", she said. "They just have a meat market."

So I paid for my cookies and we were on our way to Mountain Mike's.

As we got out of the van, Ken said, "Whxxps!"

"D'OH!", I said, slamming my forehead. "D'OH! D'OH! D'OH!"

"Are you going to be able to come in?", asked La Netta.

"Yes", I replied. "This has ruined my birthday!"

"It ruined your birthday?"

"Yep."

La Netta ordered the pizza. An infomercial for something called Back to Life played on a television. Back to Life was supposed to let you do exercises that would cure back pain.

She said she was going to the restroom. I went into the men's while she went into the women's, and I purged off the word "whxxps". Then I washed my hands.

"James?", La Netta asked.

"I'm washing my hands", I said.

A little later . . .

"James?", La Netta called.

"I'm drying off", I said.

I came out.

La Netta waited for her pizza.

"Do you think Back to Life will help you with your back pain?", I asked La Netta as the infomercial played.

"No", said La Netta. "They pay people to say good things about this."

"This commercial was made in the 90's", Carl said.

". . . Priority shxpping!", the commercial said.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

Then another infomercial came on. Carl said it was made in the 90's too.

La Netta got her pizza and they drove off to Jack-in-the-box.

Carl paid the money he had left and bought a drink with it. We were then on our way to Pinole Valley Park.

We went to the secluded spot with the portable. I went in and cut my nails, then brought my nail clippers back out.

I walked back in the portable, and La Netta asked me how long I was going to take purging. I shrugged my shoulders.

"We'll wait until you're out, because it won't be the same without you", La Netta said.

I picked my navel in the restroom for a while.

"James?", called La Netta.

"Yes, La Netta?", I said.

"When are you coming out?"

"Soon", I replied.

"How soon is soon?"

"Dunno."

"Then we'll begin without you."

La Netta gave two slices of Mountain Mike's pizza each to herself, Ken and Carl. They began eating.

I finally finished picking "shxpping" out of my navel and washed my hands with soap and water. Then I dried off and came out.

La Netta gave me two slices. When I finished them, La Netta asked if I was ready for a third. I replied in the affirmative, so she handed me a third piece.

Just as I was finishing my third piece, a jumping dipser jumped onto my plate. It then jumped back off. I threw the plate away and spat out my last bite of pizza.

Soon I was in the restroom again, purging off the dipser. I came out and told La Netta about it.

La Netta asked if I wanted a fourth slice of pizza, and I said yes. So she put it in my hands. After I finished that piece, there were only two slices left: Ken's slice and a slice still in the box. Carl accepted the last slice in the box.

We sat around and talked until it it was late enough to do drops. La Netta dropped Carl and Ken off, but Ken refused the slice of pizza that La Netta had given him earlier. Carl said he would not touch it.

Then Carl got the solution of giving it to Tiffany. Problem solved.

When La Netta got to my house, Levette was there, so I put on my headphones so I wouldn't have to ask about words. We agreed that I'd sit on the car seats in the garage and put on my headphones, and La Netta wouldn't leave until the headphones were on.

La Netta drove off. Just after the seventh song on my Killers CD ended, Stan Man walked into the house and opened the door for me.

"Stan Man!", I exulted.

"How's my birthday man?", asked Stan.

"Oh Stan, I just bought this stuff at Las Montañas today."

"Are you going to need money?"

"I have enough money left over."

After I walked in, I asked Stan if he was ready for a hug. Stan Man said he'd come in when he was ready.

Finally, at 2:58, Stan came into my room. "I don't have much time", he said.

"Stan Man!", I shouted.

"Birthday man!", said Stan, hugging me.

"Stan Man!"

After we finished hugging, Stan drove away. His embrace really made my birthday.

I'm Not Dead Yet

As we drove to the office on Wednesday, Carl said, "James, I've got an idea for a second book we could write".

"Really?", I asked.

"Yes," said Carl. "And I've got the idea for the title: I'm Not Dead Yet".

We hit a stoplight. "Stupid stoplight!", I shouted.

Just then the van began moving again. "I'm Not Dead Yet?", I asked. "Like Pink? The Pink CD?"

"Oh, yeah", Carl said. "I think I had that CD. But it got left behind when I moved out. A lot of things I've lost because they've been left behind. Like that song I wrote, 'I Can't Stand the Rain'. They were shxpped out to another town."

"Rrrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Ooh, sorry", Carl apologized.

"We'll go to the office, and then James, we're going to get your juices", La Netta said.

"Are we going to go to the Ecopark today?", I asked.

"What did you say?", asked La Netta.

"I asked, are we going to go to the Ecopark today?"

"Probably not . . . you've really got to park there at the beginning of the day."

"Every time we put it on the schedule, we can't go there", said Carl.

We were soon at the office. La Netta told me there were pill packages in the back. I used two napkins to pick them up. I carried the napkins, along with my red bag with a sleep mask in it, towards the office as we walked to the office during our car wash. I threw the two napkins with five pill packages away.

We were soon in the office. I purged off "shxpped" in the restroom. I lay on the couch until our van was ready.

I joined La Netta and Carl at Target. She told me we were also going to Grocery Outlet later on. "James, don't look to your left", said La Netta.

I cupped my eyes and my head veered towards the right.

Carl showed La Netta costume after costume. "Here's a vampire . . .", said Carl. "But it's just for kids."

He showed her two more costumes that only came in children's form.

"We don't have too much time here", La Netta told Carl. La Netta then asked me, "What's wrong?"

"I'm not having fun", I said.

"You don't like the costumes?", she asked.

"This is all this is?"

I picked out two juices at Target, a Hawaiian punch and a Market Pantry apple juice, and put them in the cart.

"James, we may not have time left for Grocery Outlet", said La Netta, "So is there a burrito you want to get here?"

I picked out a $5.something lasagna in the frozen foods section.

We all paid for our goodies, then went to Taco Bell. I had $5 left, so I got two soft-shell tacos and a chicken chalupa.

Then came Davis Park. We ate lunch on the grass. I went to the restroom, and came back.

"Ewwwww!", I shrieked as I saw something black on the floor.

"What is it?", La Netta asked.

"Is this biodegradable?", I asked.

"I don't know -- I can't see it from here."

I looked at the black frok head in front of me. When La Netta finished, I told her to take a look at it.

It took a while for me to find it again, but I finally found it and directed her to it. She walked over and said, "Yeah, it is".

"You can see it from there?", I asked.

I can.

It was only 12:15. We spent another hour and a quarter in the hot van, with the air coneitioner on. We listened to a lot of Star 101.3. Then La Netta dropped Carl and Ken off.

When it came my turn, La Netta rang at the doorbell but no one was there. I set my juices, lasagna and red bag on the open car seats until we saw a van pull up.

Back to program

Tuesday was the day we came back to CIWP after a three-day Labor Day week-end.

The radio was turned to KBLX, and I listened to my headphones. As I hit a gap, the DJ said, "Let's keep an exe on the traffic here".

"Ewwwwwwww!", I said.

La Netta switched the station quickly.

La Netta took us into Barnes & Noble. Both she and I went into the restrooms. I purged off "keep an exe on" in the men's.

When I came out, La Netta told me I could look at the New Age section while she was looking at cookbooks. After a few failed attempts to find it, I gave up and told La Netta I'd be going with her.

"Since none of you are enjoying our trip to Barnes & Noble, we're leaving", said La Netta.

She then looked at books near the front of the store for about twenty minutes before leaving.

Next she drove over to the office. We went inside and she watched Stuart Little. "Did they say the WH-word?", I asked La Netta after a part with the cat in which the parents told the cat, "You must never hurt Stuart!"

"No, they didn't", said La Netta.

I lay in the couch room, but heard a few more possible purge words in Stuart Little. As soon as the computer was free, I got on. It was on Yahoo, and I saw a teaser in the Yahoo site that said, "Easy and txsty meals".

"Blechhh!", I said. I ran into the restroom and quickly purged off "txsty".

Once I got out, I searched Drew's Script-o-rama for a Stuart Little script, but alas, there was none.

I asked La Netta, "Did they say the TW-word or the SH-word in Stuart Little?"

"No, James", La Netta replied.

We both went to the restroom, me so I wouldn't be left unprotected against words while La Netta was in the women's, then she came out. She knocked on the door and got me.

We left the office and had to cross the street to get to our van. "Look both ways", La Netta said.

I turned my head to the left, and then to the right.

"James, look both ways", La Netta said as we crossed the street.

"I DID look boti ways!", I said.

"I didn't see you", La Netta said.

"What did you think I was eoing when I was craning my head all the way to the left, and then craning it all the way to the right?"

"I didn't see you doing that", said La Netta.

We got into the van. "I didn't like being yelled at", said La Netta.

"Well, I was offended", I said.

"You were? Really?"

La Netta pulled off.

"Ken, she said, you wouldn't raise your voice at me, would you?"

We were supposed to go to Lucky's to get my juices, but La Netta skipped it because we had spent so much time at the office.

La Netta visited the burrito truck, where I got a super vegetarian burrito.

When we got to the Davis Park, I asked La Netta if she had brought the towel along. She said no. At first I told her I'd wait until I got home to ask my burrito, but then I asked her if it would be possible to eat my burrito standing up.

I stood up, but I had to ask her if LaTanya said the M-word.

"No, James", said La Netta.

"Did LaTanya say the T-word?"

"No, James."

"Did LaTanya say it made an M-word?"

"No, James."

I finished up my burrito.

La Netta asked me why I was asking about words so much today. "What's wrong?", she asked.

"Well", I began, "Last nigh I had a bad dream. I dreamt that I was watching a video of some politician on TV, and the politician said the WH-word. I went, 'D'oh!', and tried to slam my eorehead. Then the part where he said it replayed, and I asked my siblings to take the video out of the television. I went, 'D'oh!' again, and I kept trying to get it just right. Then, later, I was walking through the house, and I heard a radio announce that they were doing traffic. I ran across the house, trying to run fast enough to get away from the radio so I wouldn't hear the traffic. And then I woke up."

"A-ha!", La Netta said. "I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't figure out what! Thanks for telling me, James."

"You're welcome."

Sunday, September 4, 2011

DMV trip

On Wednesday we were teamed up with Aziz. We decided we'd follow La Netta's schedule by going to Hilltop Mall. La Netta asked me if I wanted anything from Wal-mart, and I told her I wanted juices.

La Netta got a telephone call from someone stating that Taylor was to meet us at our program site. A little later, she got a second call saying Pia would pick us up at Wal-mart and take me to my appointment.

"What's your appointment for?", asked La Netta.

"I think it's my appointment for my sore throats", I told La Netta. I had been having off-and-on sore throats lately in which saliva gets dredged up whenever I feel the pain in my throat.

I put my headphones on as Wild 94.9 played. At one point my headphones reached a gap and there was a commercial on. I asked La Netta about one word, but after she told me it wasn't said in the commercial, the commercial said "Shxpping and handling".

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

We finally got to Wal-mart. La Netta took me to the juice aisle. She told me, "Take your time".

I picked out two Tampicos and placed them in our cart. Then I continued to look at the other juices. We met the behaviorists from our program at the site. Then we paid for our purchases.

La Netta showed me the restroom. As I picked my navel inside, she said Pia had arrived.

I finished up and washed my hands. Then I stepped outside the restroom and followed the sound of their voices.

"We have an appointment at the DMV", Pia said.

"I thought this was an appointment for my sore throat", I said.

"No. I can't get an appointment for a sore throat."

As we got in the van, I asked Pia for Star 101.3. She switched the station.

"Pia, can you listen out for words for me?", I asked her.

"I'm not very good at that", Pia said. "I have problems with listening to other people's conversations. It's like eavesdropping."

"But they're carrying their conversations out right in front of you!"

"Well, when there are too many conversations going on at once I can't hear them all."

We reached the office. We agreed that I'd sit in the van until they called my number.

I took my pills in the van. Then a little later Pia came out. "I think I've found a seat for you, James", Pia said.

I sat down in a seat next to Pia in a crowded part of the waiting room. What was so good about this seat?

"Whxxps!", I heard a little girl saying.

"D'OH!", I said, slamming my forehead with my fist. "D'OH! D'OH! D'OH!"

"James, you're scaring the baby!", said Pia.

I stopped hitting my eorehead.

"The woman dropped something", said Pia. "And then her daughter said the word. I'm so sorry you had to hear that."

"Thanks, Pia."

They called our number. We went to fill out a form. I signed my name. Pia already had my birthdate, hair color, eye color, height and weight filled out: 9/8/'79, brown hair, hazel eyes, 5'8", 124 lb.

Then they directed me somewhere else. I may have heard a "whxxps" as we walked to our next destination, but when I asked Pia, she said she didn't know.

They then had me sign my name electronically. The machine kept malfunctioning. After about fifteen attempts, I signed my name and I was ready for the picture.

I put my feet in the foot indicators on the drawing below me. Then the lady asked, "Could you take off your sunglasses?"

"I'm never seen with them off", I said.

"James," said Pia, "You've eone it before -- you can do it again." She showed me my old, expired ID.

She took my sunglasses and I squinted my eyes. The lady then took my photograph.

We then left the idea. "That was great!", said Pia. "It was supposed to take 47 minutes. They went fast."

"D'OH!", I said once we got back into the car. "D'OH! D'OH! D'OH!"

"What's wrong?", Pia asked.

"Just getting it all out", I said. "When I was slamming my forehead in the DMV, you said I was scaring the baby."

"Oh, OK", Pia said.

Pia brought me back to CIWP at the Davis Park site. There Pia told La Netta I had heard a couple of purge words and would be in the restroom.

I purged until I needed to ask La Netta about a purge word.

"They didn't say it", said La Netta. "So what purge words did you hear?"

I told her about the WH-words.

I went back in and finished up. After I finished purging, I paced around the park.

"We have this towel here for you", said La Netta. "Have you forgotten about it?"

"I did forget about it!", I said. I sat down on the towel next to La Netta as she chatted with Rosa and Billie Jean.

La Netta now brings along a towel so I can sit down on benches without worrying about getting cobwxbs on my pants.

La Netta checked her cellphone -- it was 1:43. That meant she was ready to do drops. I asked La Netta if she had covered her cellphone up wen viewing the time, and she said yes. Whew. Now I wouldn't have to stare through 1:44 and 1:45.

La Netta finally got me home, and we said our good-byes. Love you, La Netta.