Wednesday, October 28, 2009

A safe haven

As we walked into the office today, La Netta said, "They have Halloween stuff up."

"More Halloween stuff?", I asked.

"Yes?", said La Netta.

"Do they have any dipsers?"

"Some. But if you go into the Internet room, you won't see any."

"Greetings, James", said Lita as I walked in the main room.

I waved at Lita. "Do you have any dipsers up?"

"We do."

"Where can I get away from the dipsers?"

"We have this Internet room. There aren't any in the Internet room. Want me to close the door?"

"Yes."

So I walked in the Internet room and surfed 4thkingdom with the door closed. I couldn't see outside. It was wonderful. A little island in the ocean of Halloween nastiness, where I was free from plastic arachnids. It was if this room would always be here for me. I was entertained by the Internet while being kept feeling secure by the absence of dipsers. If only more places at CIWP were like that.

Mxss, mxss, mxss!

On Tuesday, I brought my headphones to program, cannibalized so that one CD player was connected to the headphones of the other CD player. I brought along the older headphones, just in case La Netta wanted to help me place the puffs from one headphone set onto the other set (my puffs are really torn).

As it turned out, La Netta wasn't there. Instead I had Rosa and Donna. Emanuel was in the back seat.

The traffic was heavy on our way to Berkeley as we picked up Lisa. "Should I close my eyes now?", I asked.

"Go ahead", said Rosa.

"This traffic is a mxss!", said Donna.

"EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!", I shrieked.

"Oops!", said Donna. "Sorry, James!"

"This traffic is a mxss", said Emanuel.

"Eeeeeeewwwwwwww!," I said. "Emanuel!"

"This traffic is a mxss!"

"Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! Emanuel, stop it!"

"Emanuel!", said Rosa. "Cut it out!"

"Should I close my eyes now?", I asked.

"Put your headphones on and keep your eyes closed", said Rosa.

As I tried to disentangle the wires of the two sets of headphones, Emanuel said "This traffic is a mxss!"

"Ewwwwwwwww!", I said. "Emanuel, quit it!"

"Is it safe to look now?", I asked.

"Close your eyes", said Rosa.

"Why can't you handle that phrase?", Emanuel asked.

"Because the M-word makes me purge", I said.

"There's no N-word in it", said Emanuel. "It's just, 'The traffic is a mxss'."

"Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww! I said M, not N!"

"This traffic . . .", said Emanuel.

I started to plug my ears.

". . . is crazy", he finished.

"This traffic . . .", said Emanuel.

I plugged my ears again.

". . . is out of control", he finished.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"This traffic is a mxss!", said Emanoel.

"Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!", I responded.

"James, you better put your headphones on, because he's going to keep screwing with you", said Rosa.

"I wish you all had trigger symptoms like that!", said Emanuel.

I tried even harder to disentangle my headphones, but I couldn't do it with my eyes closed. Finally I just cupped my hands over my eyes and before I knew it, we were past Frosty Freeze.

Emanuel finally left early at our Berkeley stop, as we waited for Lisa. I found a $5 bill he left behind after he left, and shoved it in my Ziploc bag.

Shortly Emanuel came back. "He's probably going to bum a cigarette off Lisa', said Rosa.

Instead he came back for his money. "I can't find my money", he said. "I had five dollars."

"I know where it is!", I said. I took it out of my Ziploc bag and handed it to him.

"Thanks!", he said. "I thought I had dropped it on the ground or something."

"You're welcome", I said.

Rosa talked about shopping for the baby, then Donna talked about shopping for her son.

"I got him some nice pajxmxs", she said. She pronounced the word the way La Netta does.

"Rrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"And I got him a fine jacket", she went on.

I unzipped my pants in the back row and began to purge off "pajxmxs".

Soon Donna whispered something to Rosa.

"James, wait until we get to the office", said Rosa.

"I can't hold it in!", I said.

"You're going to have to hold it in."

"Is there a restroom around here?"

"No, there isn't. Lisa's almost in, and then we'll go straight to the office."

After we let Lisa in, we drove to the office. "I can't hold it in!", I said on the way.

We stopped in front of the office. I unbuckled my seatbelt and ran out over Rodney and Lisa in the back.

The first thing I did was enter the restroom, where I purged off "pajxmxs". "Pajaamdras, pajahmdras, pajaamdras . . .", I started in.

Eventually I finished my rubble-clearing and got to the meat of the word. When that was done, I checked the schedule. We had the Dollar Tree today.

Instead we stayed in the office for a long time. I struggled with all six "mxss"es. When someone uses the M-word in connection with traffic it's so long and hard for to purge it off. I had to swirl my hands around in just the right places, and feel that oatmeal coming up.

A little while later, someone knocked at the door. I let him in and walked out to look at the schedules a second time.

"James!", Rosa said.

I walked in her room.

"I have these schedules", she said. "Is there anywhere else you'd like to go?"

I looked at them. "How about that Mexican place?", I suggested.

"What Mexican place?"

"The one where we got the pineapple juice. The corner store."

"Oh, OK. And should I put Whole Foods down? That's in the same area."

"Fine."

I checked the restroom and it was empty again. I went in and finished purging.

At noon I came out. "I'm finished purging", I told Rosa. "I'm ready for my pill."

"You were purging again?", asked Rosa.

"No. The first time I came out, I wasn't finished", I explained. "It was just to let somebody else use the restroom."

"You've been purging all this time?!"

"Yes."

"The pill is in the van. I'll get it then."

When we got back in the van, I took my pill.

"Lot of mxss in the office", said Donna as we drove.

"What did you say?", asked Rosa.

"Lot of mxss back at the office."

"Did you say the M-word?", I asked.

"I'm sorry", said Donna. "I did."

A little later: 'He's mxs-sy! He is such a mxssy person!", Donna said.

"Ewwww!", I replied.

"I'm sorry!", said Donna.

"That's just a word Donna uses", said Rosa. "She doesn't have anything against you."

Well, that's very good and all, but it doesn't make me have to purge any less.

When I got home, I purged off several more M-words. I had been mxssed out.

Monday, October 26, 2009

The day I was sleepy

When I got to program today, I was sleepy. La Netta was sleepy too. I asked her whether we were going to pick up Lisa and she said yes.

Lisa limped into the van, and we drove back to the office.

I walked out into the main room where Lisa was. "I need to clean up my place", Lisa told the other people in our group as they listened. "I've got stuff axx oxxx the pxxxx."

"Ewwwwwww!", I said.

Lisa apologized. I headed into the restroom to purge. When I was done, I lay down on the couch.

A coach came to get me, and I followed the group out the door. La Netta left to go in with Emanuel.

"Jolene, could you scxxt over?", asked Lisa.

"What did you say?", I asked her.

"I forgot", said Lisa.

"Rrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"I'm sorry!", said Lisa.

I deashed out the van to purge off "scxxt over" in the restroom.

We then headed over the the 99-cent store, where I bought two $.39 burritos. We drove back to the office.

I lay on the couch again. I adapted the right cushion into a pillow for my head by detaching the velcro. I spent about an hour lying there with my eyes closed.

Suddenly, I heard a knock. I thought someone was there to get me in the morning.

"Is La Netta there?", I asked.

I remembered where I was. I had thought I was in bed. But I was really at CIWP. I looked at the window and saw La Netta knocking.

"You must have gotten some good sleep", said La Netta. La Netta said she could go to bed.

She dropped Lisa oef at Kaiser in Richmond, then dropped off Ken, then me.

I ate one of my chicken burritos, then went to bed.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Ken's watch

We were standing outside the van. I saw Ken from a distance, including his watch. Oh, no! Was it 9:42 or 9:43?

I approached him. 9:44. Then 9:45.

"James, Ken don't like it when you look at his watch like that", La Netta said.

"I didn't mean to see it", I said. I explained that I had accidentally seen it. "What happens is that I'm looking at something else and I accidentally see his watch."

"Oh", said La Netta.

Ken's watch came up a second time. We were in the van, parked at Fernandez Park and eating. The van clock was oef. I saw Ken outside.

Oh, no! There was his watch again!

"What time is it?", I asked La Netta.

"The van clock is off," she said. "Ken, what time is it?"

"Uh . . .", Ken said. He looked at his watch and didn't answer.

"Let me see", said La Netta. "It's 11:42."

"Oh, no!", I said.

I stood outside and explained to Ken that I needed to see his watch say 11:44, and then 11:45.

Ken sat in his front-row seat in the van, his face showing its usual mopiness but also a willingness to help a friend. He held out his watch for several seconds at 11:44. Then, at 11:45, we watched the watch together for the whole minute.

The day I just kept hearing trigger words

Thursday morning, our group drove to CIWP together.

"Cutxe pie" or "Sweetxe pie", I heard Francisco, a client who speaks in broken English, say as he was speaking to Lisa. "My darling!"

"La Netta!", I called.

"La Netta!", I repeated.

I got out of the van and approached my friend. "La Netta, did he say "C-word pie" or "SW-word pie"?

"I think he said 'Cutxe pie'," said La Netta.

"Echhh!", I said. "La Netta, just say 'C-word pie'."

"Sorry, James", she apologized.

I got to the office restroom and purged it off while La Netta was changing herself.

We visited Barnes & Noble, then went back to the office. Emanuel left, and La Netta talked to Emanuel. They shared their einal words as a rap song played in the van. Did that song say "cutxe"?

"La Netta, did that rapper say the C-word?", I asked.

La Netta just kept talking to Emanoel.

"La Netta, did he?", I asked again.

About ten seconds later: "La Netta, did he?", I repeated.

When Emanuel left, O asked, "La Netta, did he?"

"Did he what?", asked La Netta.

"Did he say the C-word?"

"No, he didn't."

"You know whom I'm talking about, right?"

"Emanuel or the song?"

"The song."

"Well, he didn't either".

I thought I heard a "Whxxps" as people were loading into the van, but I didn't ask then because I was too busy trying to take care of this song business with Emanuel.

We drove over to Lucky's, where I got juices. Not having a cart, I had to hold my two one-gallon bottles of Sunnyside apple juice in my hands. They got scraped.

We entered the McDonald's drive-through. "Can I get a malt -- oh, I mean a shxke?", asked Lisa.

"We can see if they have milkshxkes for a dollar", Rosa told her.

"May I have a chocolate shxke?", Lisa asked.

The next 3 minutes Rosa and Lisa communicated with the McDonald's employee about the price of milkshxkes. They said the word "shxke" I think 13 times.

We left, and drove to Berkeley Marina. "James, Maria said Stan wants me to drop you off at Seabreeze today", La Netta said. "You have an appointment?"

"Not that I know of", I replied.

And so I grew nervous as I continued to hear words. ". . . knocked a guy off his bxke", Rosa said.

I began picking at my navel.

"James, why are you scratching your navel?", asked La Netta.

"It was a word I heard", I replied.

Then the topic turned to African-Americans and their diet. "The African-Americans ate candied yams and sweet potatoes and collard greens and okra", said La Netta. "We were healthy because we ate what we brought over. The slavemasters would feed us the slxps, like the chitlins . . ."

"Ew!", I said. I had to go to the restroom, and told La Netta and Rosa so.

I finished picking my navel to get "bxke" out, then did all the "shxke"s. For some reason, the word tasted like Carnation Instant Breakfast. Maybe it was because they were chocolate shxkes.

I came out to ask La Netta a question. "How come you could ear everything on the radio, but you couldn't hear my question?", I asked La Netta.

La Netta explained that she really had really the radio wouldn't say any words. "And Emanuel was talking his gibberish", said La Netta. "I was so keyed in on the radio that I didn't hear you."

"Oh, OK. And another question: did I hear the WH-word as we were all getting into the van at the office?"

"No, you didn't", said La Netta.

"Oh, good", I said. "It sounded as if someone was saying the WH-word, but I don't know who."

"Someone said the OO-word."

Oh, OK. So that explains it.

Relieved, I headed back towards the restroom. Finally, I did "slxps". After getting out that Alfredo sauce, I was ready to go.

At 1:14, we were in front of Seabreeze. "I see Stan", said La Netta. "Ooh, there's Pia!"

I brought my headphones with me, and just as I was about to leave, La Netta remembered that I had juices in the back. She gave them to me, then I entered Pia's van.

"Will I need to bring in the headphones?", I asked.

"What do you mean?", asked Pia.

"Am I going to be back in this van after my appointment is over?"

"Yes, you are."

"All right." So I left them there.

"Did they say the P & A words?", I asked Pia while we waited in the waiting room.

"No, they didn't", she said.

"Were they discussing pajamdras?", I asked a bit later.

"What about them?", Pia asked.

"Did they mention them?"

"No."

Sometime, I'm sure one of the wh-- sounds I heard was a "whxxps".

I saw the doctor, who asked me about my medications. She auscultated my heart and lungs.

She said now would be a good time to take my tuberculosis test. The test was now improved so that I wouldn't have to come back to the clinic to get my arm checked -- they could simply analyze my blood samples.

While we waited for the blood test, I had to ask Pia, "Did they say the WH-word?"

"No", Pia replied.

"Did that little did say the I-word?"

"No."

"How long is it going to be until my test?"

"It will be soon."

"Did they say the M-word?"

"No. We should have brought the headphones along, shouldn't we?", Pia said laughing.

"Yes."

A little while later . . . "I can't wait until it's time for my test!"

Finally, I was called up and took a tuberculosis test. Then we drove home.

"Can we have some alternative music?", I asked as the R&B played.

"Sure", said Pia. The dial was soon at Alice 97.3.

"21 Guns" by Green Day played. When I got home I purged off the WH-word and ate a chimichanga. Then I lapsed into bed, exhausted.

B.X.

B.X. sounds like P.X., and you know how much I hate pajamdras.

Well, anyway, on Wednesday our group made a trip to a dollar store since we had extra time. I closed my eyes and held onto La Netta.

La Netta told me she needed to push Jolene.

"If I look, I might see Halloween stuff", I said.

We maneuvered our way cumbersomely through the store, me holding onto La Netta and La Netta holding onto Jolene's wheelchair. This was screwed up.

The commercials played on the radio station on the dollar store's intercom. "B.X.'s Tavern", they said.

Then they said, "B.X.'s Tavern" a second time at the end of the commercial. I ran into some boxes trying to follow La Netta's voice.

I made my way around and we left.

"May I go to the restroom?", I asked when we reached a gas station.

"What's the problem", asked La Netta.

"I heard a name I didn't like in the Dollar Store", I said.

"Oh, OK", said La Netta. She let me go and then gave me my pill.

My attempts to use the Internet, Part 2

On Tuesday morning we were driving to program. The conversation was about being hungry.

"People hungry in Africa and axx oxxx the pxxxx", said Ken.

I growled. I made it into the restroom at the CIWP office, and after some rubble-clearing, purged it off.

My Internet was still down, so I wanted to use the Internet line at the office. I signed into "Other" and the Internet failed me.

I enlisted Maria's help, showing her various sites and how their buttons were scrambled. I showed her how I couldn't find the Sign In feature on my blog's screen.

Maria said I should try signing into my Google account. I typed in my Google name, but it wouldn't accept my password. I tried gmail.com, google.com, googlemail.com, gmail.net, but it said all the names were wrong. And I knew I got the password right.

I tried browsing other sites. Then, when I was browsing one site, all the buttons, images and links appeared properly. I tried Blogspot, and it worked!

I left a placeholder entry for Monday, and titled it "My attempts to use the Internet". Today you are seeing "My attempts to use the Internet, Part 2".

The group then traveled to See's Chocolates. I came in and ordered five pieces of chocolate.

"Jolene, you still have money", said La Netta, "Would you like to buy anything?"

"Peanut crunch", said Jolene.

"How many pieces?", La Netta asked.

"Four."

"Four? OK", said the lady working there. "And here's your free sample."

"I want peanut crunch", said Jolene.

"Jolene", said La Netta, "That's just your free sample."

"No, I want peanut crunch."

"She's getting you peanut crunch."

"OK", said the See's employee, "I'll get you a peanut crunch."

Jolene left with five peanut crunches.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My attempts to use the Internet

On Monday, Jolene was complaining that she needed to go to the restroom while we were driving to Berkeley to pick up Lisa. "I can't hold it!", she said.

As we drove back, Jolene said, "I need to go!"

"Jolene", said La Netta, "Cut it out. You need to tell Eula not to give you all that coffee."

We finally made it to the office. I offered to get Jolene's walker out of the back for her, but her wheelchair was on top of the walker, and Lisa's walker was on top of the wheelchair. La Netta finally got it out.

Jolene stepped out. "Look at Jolene," said La Netta. "Thinking she can walk!"

Jolene walked into the women's restroom, while I emptied my bladder in the men's.

I walked out into the Internet room. I signed onto "Other". When I opened Internet Explorer, the Internet page had dipsers and cobwxb stuff.

Just then, I heard Maria saying, "Pardon?" when talking to Lisa.

"Rrrrrrrrr!", I growled. I typed in the URL for Paralyzed Into Dance then went to the restroom.

First I did the "Pardon?", then I did all the dipsers and cobwxbs. It was 10:26 when I finally came out.

I tried to add a blog entry for Thursday, but the browser wouldn't let me. Finally, I called for Maria's help and she signed me in. I left a placeholder for my post on Thursday, the day Dr. Luburic lowered my dosage from two teaspoonsful to one.

At 11:40, we left the office. I asked La Netta whether Jolene had made it to the restroom in time, and La Netta said yes.

La Netta asked how many prawns they give me in the sweet and sour prawn dish at China House. I told her "about eight".

"Do they come with pineapple and bell peppers?", La Netta asked.

"Yes", I replied. "Do you like pineapple?"

"I do."

We finally entered China House. I ordered my sweet and sour prawns, and La Netta opted for something else -- she didn't get the prawns after all.

Since it was raining, we went into the van to wait for our order. Then La Netta picked it up.

"Can you bring me a frok?", asked Rosa.

"I'll just bring you the one from James' lunch", said La Netta. "Is that OK with you, James?"

"Yes," I replied.

I chanted "faedorork, fadorork" in the back.

We stopped in front of K-mart, and Rosa went in. I continued purging.

I stopped to get out and spit, then we drove off and took Ken and me home.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Down to one teaspoonful

Stan woke me up on Thursday morning to bring me to Dr. Luburic's appointment.

"Do you still want to discontinue with the meds?", Stan asked me as we walked from the parking lot to his office.

"Yes, Stan", I replied.

"Now, Dr. Luburic," Stan said. "James wants to get off of this medicine, he's refusing to take it, and I told him I'd get him off of it. I was going to call you, but I've just been so busy. So I decided I'd tell you at this appointment."

"OK", said Dr. Luburic. "So he hasn't been taking it?"

"He has", said Stan. "I told him to keep taking it until I called Dr. Luburic and talked about how best to get off of it, so he agreed to that, because that was the only way to keep him taking it."

I discussed how I still had the fears about dipsers dangling down from the ceiling, and said my libido had shriveled up into nothing. Plus it tasted terrible.

"Now, Prozac is one of the better medications to get off of", Dr. Luburic said.

Dr. Luburic told me he would get me off the Prozac by reducing it from two teaspoonsful to one teaspoonful a day. After three weeks, we could progress to half a teaspoonful, and then two weeks later drop it altogether.

He also told us that we could stay at the one-teaspoon level if my side effects were dropping.

"Now there are three side effects you can get from lowering your dosage", said Dr. Luburic. "One is the stomachaches and nausea." He listed a second side effect I forget. "And finally, you may feel nervousness and anxiety."

I told Dr. Luburic I had finished my rock musical. He said that was great, and asked me about the storyline, but I was at a loss for words when I tried to explain the storyline of Angst.

Finally, we said our good-byes and I went to program. We took a trip to Wal-mart as scheduled, because I needed juices.

I picked out a Hawaiian punch. Then Jolene said, "They have grape juice, James!"

"I see it!", I said, "They eo! Grape juice. Your favorite drink!"

"My favorite!", said Jolene. "It's right there."

I picked one off the shelf and put it in the cart. "Good idea, Jolene", I said.

"Don't you want a Hawaiian punch? The Hawaiian punches are there."

"I already got a Hawaiian punch", I told Jolene.

We ate lunch (well, I didn't), then we did drops. I saw Emanuel drooling while he listened to my Nirvana CD.

"Emanuel!", I said. "You're drooling!"

Emanuel laughed.

"Emanuel", I said, "You can't use my headphones if you're going to drool on them."

We arrived at Baby Shawn's house. Emanuel wanted to lie down on the back seat again.

"Scxxt, Shawn", he said.

"Rrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Scxxt, Shawn."

"Rrrrrrrrrrr! You said the SC-word!"

"Scxxt, Shawn!"

"Rrrrrrrrrrrr!"

Emanuel laughed. "Scxxt, Shawn."

"Rrrrrrrrrrrr! Emanuel, stop it!"

"So you can't handle the word 'scxxt'?"

"That's right."

"OK, I won't say it."

I got home and purged off all five "scxxt"s, ready to take only one teaspooneul of my medicine.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Four P-words to purge off

I was venturing out of my room, with thoughts of calling Lamesha. I wanted to see whether my staff-cum-friend was home, so I walked towards the telephone.

I asked my staff where the new telephone was, and she pointed it out to me. I wondered whether Stan had just said, "Wear your pajxmxs to work".

I continued to listen to Stan's cellphone call, and it sounded like "pajxmx day".

Then, "come in pajxmxs tomorrow".

Finally, I heard him say, "It's going to be a paixmx party". This time it was unambiguous what he said. "Rrrrrrr!", I growled.

He even pronounced "pajxmx(s)" the same way La Netta does.

It was 5:00, and I made a change of plans as I headed back towards my room without calling Lamesha. I thought the word "pajxmx" backwards as "amaazhdap", then I did the variations such as "amaazhdap, amahzhdap, zamahzhdap, zamahzhdap, zamahzhdap, zamahzhdap . . ."

Finally, I began my purging. It was a long and arduous purge. Because I had been brave enough to leave my room, I found myself purging until 8:00.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

La Netta, my Barnes & Noble companion

We were listening to the radio on Thursday, and the song on my headphones was dying down. I heard the DJ say, "The traffic is going to be mxssy on the week-end. And the good thing about the mxss is . . ."

"Did I hear them say the M-word?", I asked La Netta.

"No", said La Netta. She turned the radio off.

"It sounded as if they said the traffic was going to be M-y."

"They didn't say 'traffic', and they didn't say the M-word!"

A little later, I asked, "What did they say that sounded like, 'The good thing about the M-word'?"

"It was, 'The good thing about that'," said Rosa. "They wouldn't say the M-word! They were talking about celebrities!"

I knew I heard the word "traffic", so if I couldn't trust them on that, I couldn't trust them on the M-word either.

When I got to the gas station, I urinated, defecated, and then purged, purged, purged off the M-word. After an eternity, I came out, and was ready to go to Barnes & Noble with La Netta.

"We have 10 minutes in here", said La Netta as I got out Jolene's wheelchair.

"Are you going to buy anything in Trader Joe's?", I asked La Netta.

"No", La Netta replied.

"Neither am I", I said.

"Why not?"

"I don't have any money left."

Instead of going to Trader Joe's, we prolonged our time in Barnes & Noble. La Netta found a book on Barack Obama. She pointed to a photo of his basketball team, then a high school yearbook photo. "Doesn't he look kind of dorky?", she asked.

"Dorky?", I asked. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he does to me. But that's when people were wearing those Afros."

I picked out a book from the same section of large books with photos. It was the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I saw three-eyed creatures and human-lamb hybrids who La Netta said looked like the Devil.

"It looks like something Emanuel would like", I said.

"Yeah", said La Netta.

She asked if there was anywhere I wanted to go, and I requested she take me to the new-age section. We made a trip there, and I showed her a book called "Toltec Wisdom".

"Are you into the Meso-American stuff?", I asked.

"What's that?"

"Aztec, Mayan, Inca . . ."

"I don't know about all that stuff", said La Netta.

"Well, the Mayans have a calendar that predict we're going to go into the Fifth World in 2012." I pointed out a book on 2012 for her.

"I want to find a book on how to make juices", said La Netta.

We visited one last section, the cooking section, before we left. La Netta found a book on juices, and decided she'd buy it when she got back.

We had spent 24 minutes in the bookstore. La Netta and I made it out, and headed back to the office before doing drops.

A one-juice trip

Earlier this week, I purchased two 3/4-a-gallon soda bottles, grape and root beer, at the Dollar Tree. When it came time to purchase juice on Thursday I only needed one bottle.

As we walked through Wal-mart, Rosa asked if she could go to the clothing section. I let her. While we were there, I heard one woman say to another, "I've got family axx oxxx the pxxxx".

"Rrrrrrrr!", I growled. "Rosa, can we stop by the restroom before we leave?"

"Yes, we can", she replied.

Finally we were out of the clothing section and started heading our way towards the juice aisle. Rosa tried to pull the shopping cart I was holding onto in back, and push Jolene at the same time. Finally, she said, "You're going to need to open your eyes, James."

"If I open my eyes, I'll see their Halloween stuff!"

We tried to make our way over to the juices, and finally got there, Rosa pushing and pulling, pushing and pulling. I picked out one limeade berry blast, then made it to the check-out.

After she handed me the bag, I carried it into the restroom. I set my shopping bag deown on the floor of the stall. "Adolall, adolall adolover the pladolace", I chanted. I did quite a few "all"s before I got to the main phrase. "Adolall adolover the pladolace!"

Finally, it all came up like Spaghetti-O's. Taking my bag with me, I zipped up and came out.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Peanut crunch: Jolene's favorite

On Friday, it was just La Netta, with Ken, Jolene and me. We walked into See's Chocolates together.

Other people took their time to order, while I looked. I didn't want to buy any of their Halloween stuff.

"James, are you ready?", the lady behind the counter said.

"Yes", I said. "I'll have a marzipan, a rocky road . . .", I started to order my chocolates. " . . . And finally, one of those irrestistible rum nougats."

"Those sound delicious. Is that your favorite?", she asked.

"I guess", I replied.

"Then I'll get you one as a sample." She then handed me a rum nougat sample and spoke to the other CIWP'ers. "Would you like a light chocolate or a dark chocolate?"

"I want peanut crunch", said Jolene.

"You want peanut crunch?", the lady said.

"Yes. I want peanut crunch."

"Peanut crunch are Jolene's favorite", I said.

After Jolene and the others ate their chocolates, La Netta took us into Joann Fabric. I closed my eyes to avoid looking at Halloween-themed fabric.

With $15 left, I told La Netta I wanted to get Chinese food today. She took Ken and me into Chef's.

I ordered chow mein, honey sesame chicken and basil catfish. I paid for it.

"No frok, right?", the employee asked.

"Right", I replied. I picked up my order, and put my coins back in my Ziploc bag, then carried the bills and the Ziploc bag around.

Inexplicably, I opened my eyes. I saw the exe on the pyramid on one dollar bill. "Ew!", I said.

La Netta turned the dollar bills over, and I got to a counter and put the money in my Ziploc bag. Then I zipped it.

"What's on your mind?", asked La Netta outside.

"The pyramid", I said.

"Did you see it?", she asked.

"Yes."

I got to Miller's Knots and purged until I bled. Then I did some "fadorork, fadorork, fadorork". I then walked back to the CIWP van. The Chinese food was in the back seat with me.

When we drove home to Ken's house during drops, La Netta made an abrupt stop. The CD player and headphones became unplugged for each other. "Oy!", I said. "Oy! Oy!"

"Sorry, James, I hit a red light", said La Netta.

"Here, James", said Jolene. Jolene had handed me my CD player!

"Thank you, Jolene", I said.

My Chinese food had fallen off my seat. I looked and the Styrofoam container was open. Chow mein and fish were spilling into the bag. I told La Netta about it.

I placed my Chinese food on the seat, then when we got to Ken's house, La Netta said she'd help me. She pushed all the Chinese food back into the box without touching it.

"They use Styrofoam", said La Netta. "It's so cheap."

I hugged our end-of-the-week hug with La Netta once I got home, then I ate some Chinese food.

Nothing doing

Emanuel was with us on Thursday, and he wanted to sleep rather than actually, well, do stuff. We had Wal-mart and Barnes & Noble on the schedule.

"Scxxt over, James", said Emanuel.

"Rrrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Sorry. Scxxt over."

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Huh?", asked Rosa.

"Didn't you hear Emanuel?"

"No."

"He said the SC-word."

"So I guess this means we'll have to get you to a restroom too?"

"Yes."

Rosa was at the bank when she realized she didn't have her purse. She had left it in her house.

Rosa drove back to her house to get it. Then she told me, "James, you can either go to Wal-mart, or you can go to Davis Park and purge."

"I already have my juices. Let's go to Davis Park."

Rosa got her purse, then drove to the bank. After that she took me to Davis Park, where I purged off Emanuel's "scxxt over"s.

Then Rosa drove back to the office to pick up La Netta and Jolene. Not only did we not get to go to Wal-mart, she skipped Barnes & Noble.

We could have, well, done stuff. But we didn't.

A run-in

On Monday, La Netta's group was in the office. We had See's Chocolates on our schedule today.

La Netta had wanted help making her language in the skills section of the schedule more elaborate, so she had asked me for an alternative she could use to "tasting". I suggested "gustatory experimentation with chocolate".

I looked at the schedule, and discovered that she had written "justatory" instead of "gustatory". I walked up to La Netta and pointed out the error.

"Ohh, bring me the schedule so I can fix it", La Netta said.

I untacked the schedule from the wall and brought it over. She changed the J to a G.

Then I walked back. I ran into a wooden piece of furniture with a creeping plant planted.

"La Netta, is that plant real?", I asked.

"Yes, it is", said La Netta. "Did you run into it?"

"Yes."

"Does that mean you're going to have to wash your hair?", asked Rosa.

"It does," I replied. "Does it have any cobwxbs in it?"

"Well, I saw a dipser in there once", said La Netta.

Great! Now I couldn't touch my hair until I got home and someone washed it.

I wrote a letter to my friend Brandi, then made some blog posts, since my Internet was down.

La Netta said good-bye to me, as we would only have three clients today -- Jolene was not coming.

Rosa drove Lisa and me to Taco Bell, and then to Miller's Knots.

At Miller's Knots, everything was fine until Lisa started talking about the people in her apartment. ". . . And that one woman scxxted down . . .", she said.

"Rrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Ooh! I said it!', said Lisa. "I'm sorry!"

"Do you see the restroom?", asked Rosa.

I walked one way.

"It's the other way", said Rosa.

It took a while, but I einally saw the restroom.

When I got in there, I began purging.

While I was in the middle of my purging, some people having a conversation passed by. I hoped they wouldn't say another trigger word.

One of them said, "axx oxxx the pxxxx".

I growled and immediately began purging the A, O the P words off. When I was done, I got back to the words "scxxted down".

"Scadolooted down, scadolooted down . . ."

"Ken!", Rosa called. Then I heard her call, "James!"

"I'll be out!", I said.

I continued purging.

"It's time to go!", said Rosa.

"No, it's not!", I said.

I kept on purging.

"We're ready to leave!", she said.

"All right!", I said.

I finished up purging.

She drove me home to Quiana. Stan still wasn't there.

"Come on, Stan", said Quiana.

I forgetfully scratched my hair with three nails of my right hand. I would have to cut my nails once we got back in. I held my right hand out, finges apart, as if it were a dirty sock.

It was 2:50 and Stan still wasn't there. Quiana went in through the backyard and unlocked the door for us.

We all went in. I clipped the nails of my right hand. Then I told Quiana about running into the plant.

Quiana washed my hair, then I proceeded to dry it off. At program the next day La Netta complimented me on my hair.