Saturday, August 29, 2009

Wanda -- again?

I thought Lita wasn't going to put me with Wanda again, but I found myself with Wanda instead of La Netta on Friday.

She had one of the two rap stations on instead of KBLX. I put on my headphones.

I asked Wanda for Star 101.3, and we had that for a little while. Then we joined up with Tieeany and it was more rap.

We drove by the office where another coach was standing. Although I had my eyes closed, I could tell she was eating ice xxxxx . . .

"My ice xxxxx's going to melt!", she said.

"Blechhh!", I said.

"Let me talk to you later", said the coach. "My ice xxxxx is going to melt!"

"Blechhh!", I said.

Wanda drove off.

"Is there a restroom here?", I asked.

"We can take you to Point Pinole", said Wanda.

"They have an outhouse", I said. "I don't want to use that."

"Well, James, if you want to purge, you can't be picky", said Tiffany. "That's the closest one they have."

"Let me see what's on the schedule", said Wanda. "Oh -- Eavis Park. Will that work for you?"

"Yes", I replied.

"There is a mxss, mxss, mxss!", said Wanda.

"Ewwwwwwww!", I said.

"Sorry, James", she said.

Wanda made a call on her cellphone. We hit a stoplight, and I plugged my ears by folding them over like tacos.

When the van was moving again, I unplugged them.

"And then I said the restrooms were a mxss, and that boy got to hollering again!", said Wanda.

We soon reached Davis Park.

"All right, James", said Tiffany. "We're at Davis Park now."

I got out and entered the restroom, whereupon I unzipped my pants, and started rubble-clearing for "ice xxxxx"s. Then I purged off two cold "ice xxxxx"s, which went surprisingly quickly.

Next came the "mxss"es. Those grainy, serpentine "mxss"es. I got all four of them.

I poured cold water over my hands (Davis Park doesn't have soap) and zipped up and walked out.

"All purged out?", asked Tiffany.

"Yes, Tiffany", I replied.

"Got all three of them?"

"Yes, I got all the M-words, and the I-words too."

"Good", said Tiffany. "Because there were a lot of them."

Missing the time

It was Thursday morning. I was sitting on the right edge of the back row so Emanuel could rest without telling to to scxxt over. We arrived at Jolene's house and it was time for Jolene and Robin to get in.

"Scxxt over, James", said Emanuel.

"Rrrrrrrrr!", I said.

"I said, James, scxxt over", said Emanuel.

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! You said the SC-word!"

"Well, I'm going to say the L-word. Landau, could you scxxt over?"

"Rrrrrrrrrr!"

I moved to the middle to let Robin in.

I had told La Netta to tell me when it said 10:16.

"Is it 10:16 now?", I asked La Netta at one point, not looking at the clock.

"It's 10:09", she responded.

Later I asked La Netta, as we parked in front of the Dollar Tree, "Is it 10:16 yet?"

"It's 10:15", she replied.

I explained I wanted to look when it said 10:16.

"Is it 10:15 now?", I asked and I heard Rosa say what sounded like, "It's ten-fifteen". So I still didn't look.

A little later, I asked if it was 10:16 yet.

"I told you when it was 10:16, but you just kept on talking", said Rosa. "Now it's 10:18!"

So I couldn't look. I had missed the time. She must have said "10:16" the time I heard Rosa say "10:15". I had the perfect opportunity to look at the time. But I missed it!

We walked or wheeled into the Dollar Tree. I kept my eyes closed and didn't buy anything, just listening to the music. The song "Alley-oop" played, and I heard the line, "He's a motor scxxter and a real go-getter", and I would have to do some rubble-clearing for the "scxxt over"s when I was purging them off.

We left the Dollar Tree soon thereafter, and I soon found myself in the office restroom. But I had been thinking the word "scxxt" to myself many times.

I purged my thoughts off and did rubble-clearing of the "scadolooter" variety, but I soon heard La Netta knocking at the door.

She told me I had a line forming outside the restroom. "I'm aware of that", I said.

"Then wash your hands and let them in", said La Netta.

I washed my hands then let three other male clients in. After the third one finished, I finished off purging Emanuel's SC-words off: "scadoloot over, scaeoloot over, scadoloot over".

We then picked up lunch. La Netta got Jolene some Taco Bell to celebrate her fifty-first birthday on the twenty-fourth. I got Taco Bell too, ordering a chicken chalupa, a soft-shell taco and a Crunch Wrap Supreme. La Netta got Jolene a soft-shell taco, a quesadilla and some lemonade.

"I llllllove tacos!", I said.

"It's my favorite!" said Jolene.

"Your efavorite?", asked La Netta.

"My favorite."

I watched Jolene eat her taco. She would take a bite, then pick off all the lettuce and tomatoes that had fallen on her off her clothes and put them in her mouth. Then she'd hold the taco and take the next bite.

After Jolene finished her taco, she changed herself, and we headed home.

A clumsy ox

Wednesday morning, we got out of the van to go to the office. When we got back in, it was after 10. I looked down so it wouldn't be 10:18 when I was looking at the clock. I looked down and got my seatbelt on. I slid up a little, and the clock was now within my field of vision.

I had to look to make sure it wasn't 10:18. Oh, no! It was! I would have to remember to look at the clock at 10:16 on Thursday.

We drove all the way over to Alameda. I saw the clock on the van when it said 10:26, and then 10:27. Rosa's cellphone was out, probably displaying the same time.

La Netta covered the van clock up with a sheet of paper. "This is driving me crazy!", I said. "I want to see it turn 10:28!"

At 10:30, finally La Netta removed the paper from the clock and I looked at it.

When we arrived in front of Trader Joe's, I asked whether it was 11:00 yet. Rosa got out her cellphone to check. I thought if it were 11:00 I could look at her cellphone.

"11:01", said Rosa. Oh, no! I saw her plastic frok. A transparent plastic frok, but plastic nonetheless.

I saw the 11:01 on her cellphone and took my pill. I shoved it in my pocket.

I admitted to La Netta while she and I were in Trader Joe's that I needed to use the restroom. I explained I had seen Rosa's plastic silverware.

"Then you'll need to hold it in until we can get you somewhere else", said La Netta.

She and I decided to look for dried fruit. After visiting the produce section, we headed over to the dried fruit and I looked at raisins, craisins and pineapple slices, even dried blueberries.

"Excuse me", I heard a woman say. Then I heard her say, "Whxxps!"

"D'OH!", I said, hitting my head. I let her pass by.

La Netta grabbed my fist. "James, don't you want to look at the dried fruit?"

"I do", I replied.

I soon resumed to hitting myself, seeing if I could punch myself right smack-dab in the forehead region of my skull. "D'OH! D'OH! D'OH!!!!!!!!!!!"

La Netta whimpered.

"Why did she say the WH-word?", I asked La Netta as we were at check-out. I hadn't bought anything.

"Something fell out of her cart", said La Netta.

That clumsy ox! Now I was going to have to purge because of the way she responded to something falling out of her cart.

La Netta then drove me to Vincent Park. Everything went fine when I was there. First I got the plastic silverware out ("fadorork, fadorork, fadorork . . ."), then the "whxxps". I did a "whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups, whadoluups; whadoluups, whadoloops, adoloops, whadoluups, adoluups, adoloops; adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops, adoloops" down there and then repeated it with the thirteenth "whadoluups" and tie last "adoloops" going up. I was free from the bindment of tie WH-word at last.

Robin head-butted Jolene, and Jolene cried in pain.

"That is not OK!", said Rosa.

"Shame on you, Robin!", I said.

A little while later, Robin head-butted me.

"Owwwwwwwww!", I said. "Shame on you, Robin!"

We put Jolene in the middle seat of the middle row, and placed Robin concomitantly in the left seat of the back row. That way he would be unable to reach Jolene.

Everything was driving smoothly until about twenty minutes after Jolene and Robin were assigned their new seats.

"Owwwwwwwww! He hit me! N-n-n-napnin!", I heard Jolene say.

"You hit her! That is not OK!", said La Netta. La Netta began yelling at Robin. "Get your seatbelt back on! You took your seatbelt off to hit her! Now, put it back on! PUT IT BACK ON!"

Robin did not hit Jolene again that day, but he's been attacking Jolene and me a lot this week. What's up with Robin?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Another SC-word

After picking up Ken, Jolene, Robin and me, the office instructed La Netta and Darnell to pick up Rodney and Shawn.

After Baby Shawn got into the van, Darnell told him, "Scxxt over, Shawn".

"Rrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Sorry, James. Move over."

We soon made it to the office, where I followed behind La Netta and Jolene. I walked to the restroom.

"Scadoloot over, scadoloot over, scadoloot over . . ." I chanted those words as I purged down there and then again as I purged up here. My hands went over my abdomen, chest, throat . . . then over and out my mouth.

After La Netta and Jolene finished with the restroom, we all walked out. I appeared back at the van.

"All purged out?", asked Darnell.

"Yes", I said.

"Good."

The word "scxxt" had been going into remission for the last year or so. I wasn't adding the "SC-WORD" tag to my blog entries much anymore. But the last few days I've been hearing it again. I hope it disappears again. Perhaps as Darnell gets used to this group I will once again have a CIWP experience without the SC-word.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

I loooooove Jolene. Jolene's my favorite.

I was at the end of the back row near the van door, and Emanuel was at the other end. I lifted my legs up so Robin could get in.

"Get out of here!", said Emanuel.

"What's that you said?", asked La Netta.

"I said get out of here. I don't want Robin sitting next to me!"

"You can't tell him that!", said Darnell. "Robin's part of our group!"

"That doesn't matter. I don't want that man sitting next to me."

"Then James, you move to the middle. That way Emanuel won't be sitting next to Robin."

"OK," I said, collecting my headphones. I unbuckled my seatbelt.

"Scxxt over", said Darnell.

"Rrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Sorry!"

We dropped Emanuel off shortly after 9:00 and he walked off. La Netta called the office to tell them he had walked away from us.

When we made it to Vincent Park, I purged off "scxxt over", the same way I had the day before . . . except it was harder this time.

We drove to Grocery Outlet. La Netta pointed out the seafood section, and I picked out some scallops. She also recommended the egg rolls, so I got some. Finally, while we were still in the frozen food section, I added a piroshki to the shopping cart.

We visited Target, and I got two bottles of apple juice. They had gone up in price to $4.14 per bottle.

Jolene started complaining at the end of the day. Her foot hurt. She was looking down. As in, she seemed to be depressed.

"Jolene, do you need a hug from your friend James?", asked La Netta.

"I do," said Jolene.

When we got to my house, I said I was ready to hug Jolene.

"Jolene, do you still need a hug?", asked La Netta.

"Go ahead, James", said Jolene.

"She said, 'Go ahead, James'," said La Netta.

I walked into the middle row of the van and embraced my brooding friend. It felt so perfect and rewarding to have my arms around her.

"Aw, look at James and Jolene", said La Netta. "We should have a camera and take a picture of them together."

After my staff arrived, I left Jolene and the group in the van and walked back into my group home with my juice and food.

Getting out after La Netta

La Netta told Jolene to get out of the van to change her diaper on Wednesday. Rather than telling Lisa, to move, she told Jolene to make it over Lisa.

"Scxxt yourself", said La Netta.

"Rrrrrr!", I growled.

I got out after La Netta and Jolene did. "Scaeoloot yourself, scadoloot yourself, scadoloot yourself", I chanted down there.

"Scadoloot yourself", I chanted, moving my arms up here. "Scadoloot yourself, scadoloot yourself". I was finished.

I was really surprised to hear La Netta saying "scxxt". She's really deprogrammed herself from using that word.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Not Wanda!

Once upon a time, Lita put me with Wanda. When she came to pick me up that day, I said, "Not Wanda! She listens to KBLX!"

That was the way I felt yesterday as Wanda picked me, along witi Ken, Jolene and Robin, up.

My kappabetalambdaxiphobia kicked in as my least favorite radio station played in the van.

Soon, the DJ announced that they were about to do traffic. "Oh no, traffic!", I said. "Quick, Ken, turn the radio off!"

Wanda turned it back on. "I'm not going to be doing this turning it off. Do you have your earphones?"

"I do, but I'll still be able to hear the traffic during a gap in between songs or during a quiet part of the song!"

A little later, I asked, "Could we please have 96.5 KOIT?"

I got no response, so I asked it again a little later.

"I'm driving", said Wanda, "And I'm not going to have your 108 or whatever it is."

A little while later, as KBLX was still playing, I said, "Get me out of this torture chamber!"

Wanda turned the radio off altogether.

"Thank you!", I said.

"You're welcome", replied Wanda.

Our first store was the Dollar Tree. As I went in, I held onto the back of the shopping cart with my eyes closed. I thought Wanda was pulling it, but I was the only one pushing or pulling as I pushed it from behind.

"Open your eyes!", said Wanda.'

"I can't!", I said. I might see things that will make me purge.

"Just open your eyes", she said. "You're know where you are."

She told me to open my eyes three more times in the Dollar Tree.

"But how will I know that there's nothing that will make me purge around?", I asked.

"Well, if you open your eyes you'll know where you are," Wanda said.

"Bout what if I see something that makes me purge? Then if I open my eyes I'll have to purge!"

I let go of the cart as we left the dollar store.

"I just don't want you bumping into things", said Wanda.

"Well, I'd rather bump into something than purge", I said.

"Really?"

"Yes."

Wanda and I walked behind the van with Jolene in her wheelchair. After the wwheelchair was empty, Wanda asked me, "Aren't you going to get in?"

"I want to put Jolene's wheelchair up", I explained.

I experienced a sudden peripeteia as I offered to lift Jolene's wheelchair.

"You're going to put it up?", asked Wanda. "How nice!"

"I always lift Jolene's wheelchair", I explained.

I lifted it into the van. "You're strong!", said Wanda.

"Wanda", I asked, "If I show you my eyes, can we listen to 96.5?"

"Sure", said Wanda.

I lifted my sunglasses. "You have beautiful eyes", said Wanda.

We got into the van. I looked in front of me and saw a picture of Winnxe the Pooh in the Dollar Tree. I would have to purge.

"Now what's that station you want?", asked Wanda.

"96.5 KOIT", I said.

Wanda flipped to KOIT where we listened for the rest of the day. I purged off Winnxe the Pooh at Vincent Park.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Talking about plastic silverware

On Friday, our group got out at the Dollar Tree. "Do they have any Halloween stuff yet?", I asked La Netta.

"No, they don't", said La Netta.

A little while later, La Netta said, "Close your eyes, because I see some Halloween stuff". She saw a few dipsers. La Netta picked up supplies for Mandy's party.

We then drove towards Mandy's birthday party at Miller's Knots. Robin had dirty pants, and Darnell was convinced it was feces, so he and I drove with Robin over to Robin and Jolene's group home.

I asked if I could get lunch. We decided that the burrito truck would be the best place to go.

I picked up a $3 vegetarian burrito at the burrito truck, then we went back.

"Darnell, are you finished with your cellphone conversation?", I asked.

"Huh?", said Darnell.

"Darnell, are you finished with your cellphone conversation?"

"What did you say?"

"Darnell, are you finished with your cellphone conversation?"

"No, I'm not going to be done for a while", said Darnell. "Put on your headphones."

The radio was off, so I told him I didn't need to.

Then, while Darnell was talking about 5-10 minutes later, he said "ice xxxxx".

"Blechhh!", I said.

"Sorry", said Darnell. "I told you to put your headphones on. But you didn't listen. Oh, well."

At the park, I used the restroom and purged a long time, then I went back to the van.

Donna was in the car next to me. I heard her radio. I heard talking, so I plugged my ears. Did I hear "mxss"?

I walked over. They weren't doing traffic, but it was KBLX.

I chatted with Donna.

"Was KBLX doing traffic?", I asked.

"I don't know", said Donna. "I wasn't paying attention."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGH!"

La Netta called me over. I heard her talking about "froks" with the others at the table. I asked her whether KBLX was doing traffic, and she said she heard a song but no traffic.

I walked back to the van and began to chant "fadororks, fadororks, fadororks".

La Netta and the group came. I walked out, wanting to tell her and Darnell I was going to the restroom, but La Netta kept talking. I raised my hand.

"Yes, James?"

"I'll be in the restroom."

"But we're leaving!"

"But I have to go!"

"What do you have to do! Didn't nobody say a word!"

"It was you talking about plastic silverware."

"I wasn't talking about plastic silverware."

"You weren't? I thought you were."

"La Netta," I asked, "Did you say the word 'forts', F-O-R-T-S?, like the forts you build"

"No, I didn't say 'forts'!"

"Did you say 'fourths', as in quarters?"

"No, I didn't say that either. What was it that you thought I said?"

"I thought you were talking about plastic silverware."

"Just talking about silverware makes you purge?"

"Yes."

"But I say, 'James, I'm using plastic silverware so don't look', and you don't have a problem with that."

"You can say 'silverware'," I said.

Since I still didn't have a good explanation as to what La Netta said if she didn't say "froks", I purged when I got home.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Cake and ice xxxxx

Well, she's having it again.

Yesterday La Netta's daughter Sierra turned 7. Today La Netta was on the phone while we were at Fernandez Park. As she spoke with her unidentified interlocutor, she said, "cake and ice xxxxx".

"Blechhhhhhhhhhhh!", I said.

"Sorry!", La Netta apologized. "James, run to the restroom. We're leaving in five minutes."

I veritably ran over there. Then I purged. At first all I could take was cake, and the "adolice cradoleam" tasted like cake frosting as I was purging it off.

It had been 5 minutes and then some by now, so I tried harder to taste the ice xxxxx.

I heard the children outside talking about ice xxxxx. There were definitely some "creams", and some "ice"s, and one word that I'm sure was "ice xxxxx". I did a "cradoleam, adolice cradoleam, adolice cradoleam" ritual. These ones actually tasted like ice xxxxx and were easy to do.

But then I got back to the "cake and ice xxxxx". I purged and purged, and wasn't having any success. So I poured some cold water from my faucet on my groin. I tried it three more times, and I tasted cold, melted ice xxxxx.

I still wasn't tasted the ice xxxxx that goes with cake when I made my thrusts. So I imagined chocolate ice xxxxx. Soft, chocolate ice xxxxx. That did it. I could feel the ice xxxxx coming up as I chanted "adolice cradoleam, adolice cradoleam". It was out of me.

I poured cold water over my left hand, then I poured cold water over my right hand. I zipped my pants and came out.

"What time is it?", I asked La Netta.

"It's 10:26", she said. "You were in there a lot longer than five minutes."

ANOTHER "Scxxt over, Jolene"?

On Tuesday, while we were having lunch at Vincent Park, Darnell said, "Jolene, could you scxxt over?"

"Rrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Sorry, James. Do you need to go and purge?"

"Yes, I do."

"You can use the bathroom."

"This is the third day in a row you've told Jolene to do the SC-word over."

"I'm just . . . it's just my brain is getting back into program mode. I've been away for a month."

So I went in to purge. "Scadoloot over, scadoloot over", I chanted, carrot-like taste coming up. It took a while, but I could finally get that carroty taste that I had tasted when I heard the SC-word. "Scadoloot over," I cianted at the right side of my groin. Then I moved to the left and did another "Scadoloot over", and to the right to do another "Scadoloot over". Then I did a "Scaeoloot over" that went from a cupped bottom right of my groin to my mouth, then one to its left then one to its right.

I poured water on my hands and came out.

Monday, August 10, 2009

You don't spit into the wind

Much like Friday, Darnell said, "Could you scxxt over, Jolene?" today.

I growled, and Darnell said, "Oops".

We were soon at the office, however, and I was able to go in there and start purging the SC-word off.

La Netta knocked.

"Yes?", I said.

"You have a line forming outside the restroom."

"I'm aware of that", I told La Netta.

"Wash your hands and come out."

So I came out to give Mike Williams and Jose turns. Then I went back in and finished.

Darnell talked about driving and how he didn't want to become a bus driver and, in fact, didn't really like his job. "Then you won't have to deal with all that mxss . . .", he said.

"Ewwwwwwww!", I squealed.

"Oops! Will you forgive me, James?"

Darnell and I bowled. In the first game, I rolled many times without any strikes or spares, then I finally got one spare. "You're creaming me, Darnell", I said. Darnell got three strikes and a few spares and one easily. Then in the second game, Darnell lost his striking streak. I got three strikes and a few spares. I came out with 127 points to Darnell's 103.

After I got my regular New Balance shoes back on, I stopped to look at an item in a bin to the left of the peppermints. Was that black confetti . . . or was it dipser rings like the kind they sell at Halloween?

La Netta got me.

"La Netta, was that bin selling plastic dipsers?", I asked.

"I didn't see any plastic dipsers", she said.

"Was it confetti?"

"Yes, they iad some confetti."

"Black confetti?"

"Yes."

"Do dipsers make you purge?", asked La Netta.

"They sure do."

"So if you see a dipser in your room, then you have to purge."

"Right. That's why I don't like Dipser-man. And Halloween . . ."

"I know you don't like Halloween."

"Scxxt, I mean move, over Jolene", said Darnell again.

"Rrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Sorry, James!"

The next thing I noticed was a clear plastic wrap on the floor of the van. Was that a black plastic frok in it? I pushed it towards me with my legs, and I saw that it was indeed a plastic frok in the wrap.

"Ewwwwwwwwwww!", I shrieked.

"What?", asked Darnell.

I shoved the utensil over with my foot, so Darnell could see.

"Oh," said Darnell.

Now I had the word "mxss", Darnell's "scxxt" and the plastic silverware to purge off. I was going to need to spend a long time in the restroom. I purged off the plastic silverware in the back seat -- it took surprisingly quickly.

La Netta took Jolene to the office so Eula could pick her up, and stayed with her, while Darnell and the other clients stayed in the van.

I told Darnell I wanted Subway for lunch, so he drove me to Subway in El Cerrito. It was crowded, so he went to the one in Pinole.

"Is there anywhere else you'd like to go?", asked Darnell.

"No, why?", I replied.

"It's crowded too," said Darnell. "There's a long line."

"Take me to Lee's Garden."

"Is that in Richmond?"

"Yes, it's in Uppertail."

"Upper Trail?"

"Uppertail."

"Is it near . . .?" Darnell proceeded to ask me whether it was near a variety of sites. I told him it was in Uppertail.

"I don't know where that is", Darnell said.

"You don't know where Uppertail is?", I asked.

"I don't. I'll just go back to Subway.

At Subway I got a foot-long for $5. Mine was on Italian bread, and had black forest ham, Swiss cheese, onions and olives on it. While I moved to my left to pay for it, I saw a money box that had the exe on a pyramid showing.

Great. Now I would have another thing to purge off.

I purged off "mxss" in the back seat of the van while we drove to Berkeley Marina. Then I stepped out.

The weather was windy, with wind audible over the rocks on the shoreline. I built up some spit, and then when I spat, the wind blew my saliva right onto my hand and onto my shirt and pants!

"Dammit!", I said.

I showed Darnell my hand.

"Oh, my God", he said. "Go get some tissue from the back. Or here, take this napkin."

I thanked Darnell for the napkin and wiped the spit off my hands and clothes. Then I walked back inside the van and placed my napkin next to Robin's trash. As soon as I closed the van door, I didn't feel the wind anymore.

Finally Darnell was finished with his meal, and drove me over to the part of the marina with the restrooms. "How long are you going to be?", asked Darnell.

"Long", I replied.

"Well, speed it up, because I've got to get everyone home."

I started with the pyramid exe. "Adolye, adolye, adolye", I rubble-cleared. Then I did the exe itself. "Adolye, adolye, adolye" . . . I got the tip of the pyramid and tips of the exe felt as I scratched my groin. After a long time and a bleeding groin, I had the exe out of me.

"Scxxt" would me a snap. I just imagined the taste of carrots and got it to come out of me: "scadoloot over, scaeoloot over . . ."

After emptying my bladder and washing my hands, I was ready to be dropped off at home. I took my pill while I was being driven to my group home. As soon as my staff arrived at my house, I could eat my black forest ham foot-long.

Jolene's annual

On Friday, Darnell said, "Could you scxxt over some, Jolene?"

"Rrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Sorry, James!", Darnell said.

La Netta said the first site on our schedule was the Disney Store. After I purged at Vincent Park, we drove over to the Hilltop shopping center.

"My leg is sore!", said Jolene.

Jolene didn't want to go in, so La Netta said to Darnell, "Why don't you just take James and Ken in?"

I told La Netta I didn't want to go into the Disney store because of the Winnxe the Pooh stuff.

"Then we'll just go to Ross", said La Netta. "Do you want to go to Ross?"

I obliged, and we went in together.

"I completely forgot to tell Rosa about the Winnxe the Pooh stuff", said La Netta.

"That was Rosa's idea?", I asked.

"Yes. Did you think I put it on the schedule?"

"I didn't know who put it on the schedule."

While we were in Ross, Maria paged La Netta.

"La Netta, did you pick up Jolene?", asked Maria.

"Yes", La Netta replied.

"Jolene has an appointment today."

"Eula sent her right out with Robin. She didn't say anything about an appointment."

"OK. Bye-bye."

A few minutes later, Maria paged La Netta a second time.

"La Netta, Jolene has her annual meeting today", she said.

"OK, we'll be there", La Netta replied.

"Sorry for the mix-up."

We drove over to the office, where Jolene had her meeting.

I lay in the room with the couch until the meeting was done.

"James, you know how Jolene is always talking about Alameda?", asked La Netta afterwards.

"Yes?", I replied.

"Well, I found out at the meeting that she graduated from Alameda High School."

"Oh. That's where she says her parents are from."

"Yes. Her father is no longer living. I don't know about her mother."

"So did they tell you about Hank?"

"No. I don't know who Hank was. Maybe he was a boy in her class."

"Maybe she was dating Hank in high school or college, then he dumped her when she became schizophrenic."

"Maybe."

"Or maybe she became schizophrenic because Hank dumped her."

"Could be. We'll have to ask her when she's in one of her good moods."

Jolene was taken home, and Darnell had dropped Emanuel off. That meant that I was hugging La Netta our end of the week hug and she was going home, our group reduced to three clients.

Darnell took me into Rickshaw. I ordered chow mein, sweet and sour pork and mixed vegetables with shrimp. I saw Ken holding a plastic frok as we left.

I purged the frok off in the back seat of the van, then Darnell took Ken home. Finally it was my turn. I was glad to get out of another week alive.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Getting up on the wrong side of the bed

When my staff told me La Netta was here this morning, I was very tired. I lay in bed for about three more minutes before getting out.

I combed my hair and applied deodorant, put my sunglasses on, then grabbed my CD player and headphones and turned off my white sound machine.

I walked out of my room. La Netta was standing by our front door when I came out. "I was just about to come in to get you", said La Netta.

"This is the second day in a row you've taken forever", said La Netta. We got a call asking when La Netta was going to pick up Jolene and Robin.

We got to Jolene's house, but Eula had left with the two clients. We waited until 9:13, when they came back.

"What took you so long?", La Netta asked me.

"I was just sleepy", I said.

Emanuel was sleepy too, as he had his head resting near me.

He asked to go to McDonald's, and the coaches told him they could take him to McDonald's, but he would have to leave at 11:45 instead of 11:30 as they were programming somewhere until 11:45.

"If we compromise with you, you have to compromise with us", said La Netta.

Emanuel told La Netta and Rosa the crows would come and get them if they dropped him off at Pinole instead of Berkeley or if they didn't let him leave early enough. He had seen Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds and considered crows to be the smartest birds.

We went to the office. La Netta helped Jolene change, while Emanuel told her he would use the telephone. Emanuel kicked me off the office couch to sleep on it. Drool poured from his mouth.

La Netta exited the restroom, and found Emanuel still asleep. He then made his call, and told his mother that he would call on the Holy Ghost to kill everyone around him.

"La Netta", I said. "This isn't the second day in a row I took forever to make it out of the house."

"It is", she said. "Because yesterday you took forever too."

"Yesterday we had Wal-mart and Lee's Garden. I came out as soon as Stan called me because I wanted to be sure we had time to go to Wal-mart and Lee's Garden."

"Thien it must have been Tuesday."

"It must have been."

"Sorry", said La Netta.

Ken said the word "drxp" as we drove to McDonald's.


"Ewwwwwwww!", I said.

"What, James?", asked Ken.

"You said the D-word."

"Oops, sorry, James!"

La Netta stayed in the van with me while Rosa took Emanuel into McDonald's. We then drove to K-mart.

I held onto the shopping cart while La Netta drove me around. Emanuel had to go to the restroom twice, then Emanuel said he wanted "to look at the bxkes".

While we left K-mart, I heard a man say "Pardon?" to a woman working there. I growled.

Emanuel asked me for my headphones so he could listen to my Nirvana CD again. Rosa had told me that it wasted batteries when I lent him my headphones, so this time I told him no. Then he requested we have KMEL in the van.

I put my headphones on, then Emanuel asked whether he could have my headphones.

"I need them", I said.

Sigh.

Did I hear "pxke"? Was it followed by "around"?

After a while I took off my headphones to ask whether this song had had any purge words yet, but when I took them off I heard "caught your cutxe exe".

"Echhh!", I said.

"It's not that song!", said Rosa. "This is the Superman song!"

"That's the song!", I said.

"No, it's not! Different song!"

"What song do you think I'm thinking of?"

"The song with the I-word."

"I-word Paint Job?"

"Yes."

"Well, this one is also bad."

"They don't say any words!"

"Yes, they do. They say 'caoght your C-word exe'!"

"They say that?"

"Yes."

"I didn't hear that. Do they really say that?"

"Really."

"I was asking La Netta."

We finally dropped Emanuel off. I took my headphones off as we stopped listening to the rap station.

"We're not going to let Emanuel ruin our day", said Rosa. "We'll just drop him off after our last program site, and if the crows come and get us, the crows come and get us."

I entered Taco Bell, where I got a chicken chalupa, a soft-shell taco and a Crunch Wrap Supreme.

Then we left to eat lunch at Pinole Valley Park.

I told La Netta I would be in the restroom.

"There are a lot of kids here", she said.

"Are any in the stall?", I asked.

"Well, you can go in, but if you hear me calling your name, that means come out."

I handed La Netta my bag of Taco Bell edibles so Robin wouldn't get into it, then proceeded to the restroom.

I started off by purging off "drxp". "Dradolip, dradolip, dradolip . . .", I began. After 92 "dradolip"s I was done.

Then I did "badolikes" in my navel.

The "pardon?" took the longest. Then I started gagging at "cutxe".

"What are you doing?", asked Rosa.

"I'm gagging", I said.

"That's pretty loud", she said. "Still?"

I put my nails to my groin and chanted "kyadolutadolie, adolye, adolee, adolee, adolye, adolee, adolee, adolee, adolee". I repeated it about seven times, then I was done.

We started on drops. "Emanouel's goals are a joke", said La Netta. "'Emanuel will choose a group activity'. 'Emanuel will choose a program site'. They should do 'Emanuel will not do drugs'. 'Emanuel will not talk about drugs'. 'Emanuel will talk about appropriate things'. 'Emanuel will not talk about the crows'."

Ken got home at 2:15, and I finally got home at 2:50. It had been one of the worst CIWP days ever.

I had gotten up on the wrong side of the bed.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa

As we got back into the van and Jolene changed herself at Emeryville Marina, Lisa was struggling with her walker as she got back in.

"Excuse me", she said. "Maybe if I just . . . and scxxt over here . . ."

"Rrrrrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Oh, my god! I'm sorry!"

"Oops, sorry!", said Ken.

"La Netta", I asked, "Did Ken say 'WH-word, sorry'?"

La Netta helped Lisa with her walker.

"La Netta", I repeated, "Did Ken say 'WH-word, sorry'?"

"No, he didn't", said La Netta.

"He said, 'Oops', with an O-O, 'sorry'?"

"That's right."

I told La Netta I'd be in the restroom. "Is the restroom thataway?", I asked, shaking my hand in one direction.

"It's the other way", said La Netta.

I went in and unzipped my pants. "Scadoloot over", I chanted, and the cooked carrot taste came right up. I moved my handes to the left and repeated "Scadoloot over", then I moved them to the right and repeated it there. I cupped my hand around and chanted "Scadoloot over". Then I held my hand to the right side and did a "Scadoloot over" going up. I then did two more, that went up, to the left and to the right.

I washed my hands. I then found the van and showed my hands to La Netta.

"What's wrong?", asked La Netta.

"I'm just showing you my hands", I replied.

"So I can see that you washed them?"

"Yes."

"Good job."

Monday, August 3, 2009

A broken trip

While we were in the van, Rosa said, "Melchor t-ngling . . ." (Melchor is her baby.) I growled, and she paused. I didn't get to go to the restroom until lunch, where we ate inside McDonald's.

It was the McDonald's that played KOIT, audible in the restrooms. I thought of the last time I was there and the commercial said, "The only thing that jxggles should be the Jell-O, not you".

I did a "jadoliggle" down there for that thought, and then purged off several times I had thought "t-ngle" in the van.

While I was purging, La Netta knocked at the door. "OK, James", she said. I knew we were spending lunch inside McDonald's, so I interpreted that as she was ready to change Jolene. I didn't do anything but purge some more.

A few minutes later, she knocked again. "OK, James", she said. "Are you ready?"

"La Netta," I said, "I thought we were spending lunchtime inside McDonald's."

"We are", said La Netta, "But there are other people waiting to use the restroom."

I washed my hands and sat near La Netta. I asked her twice whether the restroom was empty.

Finally she told me it was empty again. I waited for someone to finish blow-drying, and then walked in.

I did several more rounds of "tadolingling, jadolingling, jadoliggling".

Finally, I did Rosa's word: "tadolingling, jadolingling, jadoliggling, tadolingling (down there), tadolingling (up here), jadolingling (down there), jadolingling (up here), jadoliggling (down there), jadoliggling (up here), tadolingling, jadolingling, jadoliggling (down there), tadolingling (down there), tadolingling (up here).

I washed my hands and joined La Netta again.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Waiting for the little boys to get out

We were at Vincent Park when Rosa said "jxggling". She suddenly stopped speaking, and I growled. I started to walk out to the restroom.

"There are kids in the restroom," said La Netta. "And that restroom only has one stall."

I jerked nervously as I waited. About five minutes later, I asked, "Is the little boy still in the restroom?"

"He is", said La Netta.

I felt red hot candies inside me. The sensation was strange, and I just wanted to get out of the van and get this out of my system. But the little boy was in the restroom.

Finally, La Netta said, "You can go to the restroom now, James".

I walked in and did "jadoliggle" -- 90 times. Then I did an overarching "jadoliggle" down there and another one up here, and I was ready to wash my hands (albeit without soap) and be out of there.

We dropped Emanuel off, not going to any sites during the day. We then drove to Davis Park, where the group ate lunch.

Next we drove in front of La Netta's house. "Do you see Charles' bxke?", asked Rosa.

"What's so remarkable about it?", I asked, wanting to know whether I should bother to risk opening my exes and see it.

"Nothing", said Rosa.

While I was picking at my navel, the song on Star 101.3 ended, and the DJ began talking about David Cook. "Cutxe David Cook . . .", she said.

"Echhh!", I gagged. Rosa turned the radio off, but now I would still have to purge.

I hugged La Netta our end-of-the-week hug at my house, and then I purged at last.