Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Delaying my medication

Well, the liquid Prozac is already a problem.

On Saturday morning, I got up to get a chimichanga when I saw Nick wearing pajamdra bottoms. They had pictures of Snoopy, with the caption "The Dogfather" below Snoopy's picture.

I spent the next hour or so purging in the restroom.

Then, at about 4:00, I absent-mindedly stepped out of my room with my eyes open and saw him again.

"James, do you take your medicine now?", my staff asked.

I do. But unfortunately, I told my staff I had to purge first.

I went into the restroom. "Snadoloopy, snadoloopy, snadoloopy, dadolog adolernie chadorarlie" . . . I purged for each Snoopy. Then, I purged off the pajamdras themselves. So the staff wasn't in her pajamdras, but Nick was in his pajamdras!

It was about 5:00 when I got out of the restroom. I kept my eyes closed as my staff spooned the medicine in.

"That tasted awful", I said.

And now with the double teaspoonsful, it tastes twice as awful.

10 milligrams?

On Thursday Rosa and I went to Barnes & Noble. I saw two CD's by Death Cab for Cutxe, one of which was misplaced. Then I got dropped off at my appointment with Dr. Luburic.

"Why don't we get you to a restroom so you can spit that out?", said Pia. As I entered the restroom, I was gagging. I purged and purged off the "cutxe"s. I spat several times as the phlegm taste filled my mouth. Finally, the C-word was out of my body and I wasn't gagging anymore.

"All you all right?", asked Pia.

"I was gagging, but I'm better now", I replied.

"I heard you."

"I saw the C-word in Barnes & Noble."

"It would be nice if this weren't a problem."

I sat in Dr. Luburic's office and Dr. Luburic asked me about my medicine. I told him that the liquid Prozac tasted awful. Anticipating it all day was ruining my whole appreciation for life and my whole day.

Then I sometimes see my staff wearing their pajamdras when they give me my medicine. I have to purge, while they're rushing me to get to program in the morning.

"Have you observed any side effects?", Dr. Luburic asked. I told him I hadn't.

Then Stan came in. I told him how awful it tasted and how it ruined my outlook on my day to take it.

"But look at the big picture!", he said. "Your hands are clearing up. I don't hear you banging on the walls and biting yourself as much at night."

Stan told Dr. Luburic that I seemed much more upbeat with the medicine. He got a different story from me, however.

"Then since I take it in the morning, I sometimes have to purge because of what my staff is wearing", I said.

"You mean like perfume?", asked Stan. How would I be able to tell when my staff is wearing perfume?

"No", I said. "Not like perfume. I don't want to say it . . ."

"Oh, you mean the P-word?", asked Stan.

"Yes", I replied. I then explained how I have to purge a long time before I can take my medicine, while there's pressure to get to program in the morning.

I told Dr. Luburic that given all these concerns, I wanted to stop taking the Prozac.

"My doctor prescribes me a lot of pills for my diabetes", said Stan. "And I don't want to take them. But he has a PhD. I don't. If I don't take these pills, it could be curtains for me, and the same goes for you. If you don't start taking this medicine now, it's going to be harder for you, later in life."

"Please tell me I can stop taking the liquid Prozac", I told Dr. Luburic. I was bent forward and my hands were clasped in front of me like a praying mantis' as I said the word "please".

I got into how awful it tasted, and how that was making my whole days dismal.

Stan said we could try taking it at 3:00 p.m. when I got home from program, so I would have time to purge without a rush to be somewhere. Stan would administer it, and he would not be in his pajamdras.

"But the prescription said to take it in the morning", I said.

"I can change that to the afternoon", said Dr. Luburic. He also examined the database entry his computer had for liquid Prozac to see whether it was miscible with juice, but the entry said not to mix it, so I would have to brave the taste.

"I would really encourage you to stay with the liquid Prozac", he said. He increased the dosage from 5 milligrams a day to 10 milligrams.

"All right", I said. "But if I'm still feeling bad the next time I see you, the medicine's off."

"I'll be there when you take it", said Stan. "We'll need to communicate more about the medicine."

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Let's stop walking around

"I like your earrings, they're pretty", said Jolene to Alejandra this morning.

It was Wednesday. We were doing pick-ups. We had Ken, Jolene and the barely-noticeable Robin.

La Netta turned the radio to Star 101.3, and after "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's finished playing, they talked about stocks. They said a stock for ice xxxxx was up.

"Blechhh!", I said.

We made it to the office. La Netta and Jolene changed a diaper, while I went in the men's to purge.

"La Netta, I'll be back in the van", I told my friend after I was finished.

"OK", said La Netta. "Thanks for telling me."

"You're welcome."

We drove to Kohl's, while Ken talked about the people Rosa has now: Tully, Baby Shawn, Robert, Rodney.

"Axx oxxx the pxxxx", said Ken.

"Ewwwww!", I squealed. I purged in the back of the van.

As we made it to Kohl's, I heard a song on KISS-FM. Everything was going fine until I thought I heard, "Let's stop pxking around".

"La Netta, what did he sing?", I asked.

"Let's stop talking around", said La Netta.

"Talking? T-A-L-K-I-N-G?"

"Yes."

I listened to the line: "What's the sense in going elsewhere?" I decided I would remember that line and google it.

I heard the line sung again, and it really sounded like "pxking". I forgot the other line about "elsewhere". "La Netta," I asked, "Are you sure they said 'talking around'?"

"That's what it sounds like," said La Netta, "It doesn't sound like the M-word."

"What about the P & A words?"

"Doesn't sound like that either."

"What does 'talking around' mean?"

"Talking too much?"

"Do people actually use that expression?"

"Yes."

I heard "Let's stop pxking around" again. "It sounds like the P & A words to me", I said.

"It doesn't sound like that!", said La Netta.

We talked about that song in Kohl's. "Do you know the artist?", I asked La Netta.

"I can find out", she said, "It's an old school song."

Next we went to Trader Joe's, where I picked out some dates. La Netta got a free sample of pot sticker for me, but Jolene ate it.

"I'm hungry!", Jolene said.

La Netta got another sample, and I didn't eat it, possibly needing to purge. I gave it to La Netta to hold as I looked at juices. "I was going to say give it to Jolene, but that wouldn't be a good idea!", said La Netta.

I paid for my purchases and made it to the van, where I put my juices and dates in the back and lifted Jolene's wheelchair. I put my cup with the pot sticker and toothpick in it right next to me on the seat and hoped that Robin wouldn't get it.

La Netta wanted me to get out Robin's lunchbag as I walked out of the van. I walked backwards to get back in the van and scraped my head against the opening of the van where the top of the door goes.

"Oh, James, are you all right?", asked La Netta.

Jolene rubbed my head for me.

"Thank you, Jolene", I said.

I got Robin's blue and white lunchbag and we were on our way. I didn't get out to eat, but the others ate at Crab Cove. Then we went back home. Jolene said, "I need to pee, I can't hold it" and La Netta said we were out of diapers.

I went to AltaVista (Greasemonkey hasn't been working with Google lately) and typed in:

lyrics "let's stop talking around"

No hits.

lyrics "let's stop poaching"
lyrics "let's stop pocketing"
lyrics "let's stop pointing"
lyrics "let's stop pointing at"
lyrics "let's stop pointing to"
lyrics "let's stop pointing toward"
lyrics "let's stop pointing towards"

With all these openings, I would not accidentally see "pxking around" in the drop-down menu in future searches.

I typed in:

lyrics "let's stop pking around"

I then put my cursor between the p and k, averted my eyes, and typed in an o.

No AltaVista hits.

I then tried "just stop talking around" and "just stop pxking around". Then I tried "let's stop pxking around" without typing in "lyrics".

No hits.

What else sounds like "pxking around"?

Walking around!

I typed in "let's stop walking around" and found several pages listing a song called "Footsteps in the Dark". It was by the Isley Brothers -- an old school band!

I clicked on it and it said "let's stop walking around". The lyrics included ""What's the sense in going elsewhere?" This was definitely the song we had heard in the van today!

Mystery solved.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Fernandez Park is a lousy place

I had gotten my Chinese food and we had picked up Ken, when La Netta asked us where we wanted to go to eat lunch.

"Pinole Valley Park?", asked La Netta.

"That's OK", I said.

"How about Miller's Knots?"

"Let's go there."

La Netta announced that we were going to Miller's Knots.

Instead, however, we went to Fernandez Park.

Now, Fernandez Park is crawling with cobwxbs. There are cobwxbs on the restroom walls. There are cobwxbs in the bleachers. There are cobwxbs in the gaps in the barbed wire fence. You can't even read the Braille sign on the men's restroom because there are cobwxbs in eront of the Braille.

I squatted down out of dizziness. La Netta asked me whether I was OK. I got back up and listened to the conversation around me.

I heard music. "Is that that truck I hate?", I asked La Netta.

"Yes", said La Netta.

La Netta and Alejandra got to talking about haircuts. La Netta asked Alejandra where she got her hair cut.

"I get it cut axx oxxx the pxxxx", said Alejandra.

"Ewwwwww!", I said. "La Netta, I'm going to the restroom."

"OK, James", she said.

I tried to purge, but I heard the children playing at another region of the park. They kept saying "ice xxxxx". I purged off "all"s and "over"s and "place"s but I kept having the I-word to purge off.

"La Netta, I think these children are going to continue talking about the I-word", I said. "Can we go somewhere else for me to use the restroom?"

"Once we drive off, we're doing drops", said La Netta. "Ken is already excited. You can go to the van, but you have to leave the door open."

I went into the van.

The truck had left, and the children's conversation was probably about a different topic now.

I walked back, and told La Netta I'd be in the restroom.

"We have about 10 minutes more", said La Netta. "Then we're leaving."

I purged off all the "ice xxxxx"s: "adolice cradoleam, adolice cradoleam, adolice cradoleam".

Then I dod twenty "adolall, adolall adolover the pladolace, adolall adolover the pladolace" chants. And a few for "place" and "over".

"Axx oxxx the pxxxx" felt so dry. Then I thought about other times I had heard it and the Spaghetti-O taste was evident. I quickly purged off "axx oxxx the pxxxx" and washed my hands with water only.

We were ready to go.

Not only does Fernandez Park have cobwxbs, but now it has a freaking ice xxxxx truck. When will that truck stop doing its rounds in West Contra Costa?

But it's soummer, so I should expect to hear a lot more I-words now.

Song deciphering

La Netta and Lita were in the van with me on Monday and the radio was on. I heard a song I had heard before. The first time I heard it I had gagged and said they said "cutxe pie" in the chorus. La Netta had said that she had heard them say "Here am I, here am I".

"Did she sing C-word pie?", I asked.

"You've heard this song before", said La Netta.

"Yes, I heard it and asked you whether they said the C-word, but you didn't know", I said.

"Here, let me listen", said La Netta.

"Cutxe pie, cutxe pie", I heard. Then the singer sang something else. Then it came again: "Cutxe pie, cutxe pie".

"They do say it", said La Netta.

She turned the radio down. I heard the chorus again so she switched stations.

I had told La Netta the first time that that was what I had heard. How could she not hear it?

"The they they pronounce it", said La Netta, "You really have to hear it clearly to figure out what they're saying."

"La Netta, if that song comes on again, will you switch the station immediately?", I asked.

"Well, I wouldn't make you listen to it", said La Netta humorously.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The "I scream" truck

On Friday morning, I got a new $20 bill. I put it in a wallet -- an old wallet I had received as a present from Aaron.

I put the wallet in the back seat of the van. We then got out for the Super Wal-mart in Napa.

La Netta went into the restroom. So did I, as well as the other clients. While I was in there, the realization hit me: I had left my wallet in the van!

I told La Netta. Rosa said she would go back into the van to retrieve my money. Then La Netta said she'd pay for my purchases for me.

La Netta took me to the juice aisle. They had orange punch and grape punch, so I got one of each. Those would be my juices for the week.

"Close your eyes", said La Netta as we entered the clothes section. She saw some pajamdras.

Then we moved to the candy section. "Taffy", said La Netta. "You're not interested?"

I picked up the taffy and put it in the cart.

La Netta paid $5.80 for my purchases.

I paid her 80 cents, but she didn't have change for a 20. It was after I paid over $5 at Taco Bell that I could get a 5 back.

I gave her my 5 at Refugio Park, then went into the restroom while La Netta took Jolene to change.

I heard some skaters talking by the restrooms. One of them said, "I'm going to go get some ice xxxxx".

"Blechhh!" I said.

He repeated it. "Blechhh!" again.

I busily purged. Then, all of a sudden, came the ice xxxxx truck.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!", I yelled.

I heard its tune -- "She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain". This was interspersed with a periodic "Hello?" that sounded almost as if a parrot was saying it.

I heard a little boy's voice say a sentence that ended in "truck". He probably said "ice xxxxx" before it.

I heard a woman whose voice reminded me of Tiffany's saying she was going to go "get some ice xxxxx".

I purged and purged. Then Rosa came. "James?", she said.

"We're ready?", I asked.

"We're ready."

"Let me finish up."

I was almost finished . . .

"James? We're ready", said Rosa.

"Should I wash my hands?", I asked.

"Go ahead ane wash."

I finished purging off all the "ice xxxxx"s then turned the valve on the faucet. Water streamed out in a thick deluge and I moved my hiands about under it.

I then turned it off.

"Did you hear what those skaters were talking about?", I asked La Netta.

"No", she said.

"One of them said he was going to go get the I-word."

"I was eavesdropping on their conversation and I didn't hear that", said Rosa.

We were already ready for drops.

Back in Moraga we didn't have an ice xxxxx truck. This is one more of the downs of living in West Contra Costa.

My money disappears

On Wednesday morning, I got a crisp new $20 bill. I took a shower and took my pants off that night.

On Thursday, we went to Ross. I felt my things coming out of my sandwich bag while we were near the check-out. I lifted the bag out and shoved several receipts back into my bag.

"What's wrong?", asked La Netta.

"I feel my stuff coming out of my bag", I told her.

Then came the 99-cent store. I picked fifteen Cadburys off the shelves in the post-Easter sale, and got three Hershey's marshmallow eggs.

When it came time to pay I began taking receipts out of my sandwich bag.

"James, when the belt moves, those receipts are probably all going to fall off the belt", said La Netta.

"I'm looking for my $20 bill", I told her.

La Netta looked through all the receipts. She didn't find it.

I told her about feeling around in the bag at Ross, and brought up the way the papers were falling out of my bag.

"I was looking on the floor at Ross," said La Netta. "I looked a lot at the floor. And I didn't see your money there."

When we got back in the van, I looked all over the back seat. We didn't find it.

When I got home that day, I looked in my room. I looked atop my bed, and under my bed, and at the wall at which my bed abuts the wall. No luck.

I'm running tight on money this month and losing $20 is something I can't afford. If anyone finds a $20 bill near El Cerrito, CA, please tell me.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The txrxntula in my room

I found a txrxntula in my room.

It was crawling on my wall, to the left of my computer. I saw it -- it was black and big, with a yellow posterior.

I alerted LaKeisha to it. "I'm afraid of dipsers", said LaKeisha.

She brought along some Raid. She sprayed it on my wall. Then she sprayed it on the floor.

It still wasn't dead. It scuttled along.

She sprayed it again. "That is one big dipser", said LaKeisha.

"I think it's in the process of dying", I said.

LaKeisha sprayed it some more. Finally it stopped moving. A txrxntula must require a large dose of Raid to die.

She picked it up with a fly swatter and carried it out to the garbage can. I thanked her for killing it.

Then I got on to the hard part: purging off the txrxntula.

I started with LaKeisha's exes and the /ai/ sounds she had made, then did its eight exes: "adolye, adolye, adolye, adolye, adolye, adolye, adolye, adolye".

Keeping my exes closed, I purged off my legs and LaKeisha's legs before doing a long ritual for each of the eight legs: "ladoreg, ladoreg, ladoreg, ladoreg, spadolider, taradolantula", I chanted again and again.

After about an hour, I got to the meat of the txrxntula. I did 400 "spadoliders", then a "spadolider, taradolantula, taradolantula, taradolantula". I chanted that for several more hours . . .

By now, tired and sweaty, I did a "spadolider spadolider spadolider, spadolider spadolider spadolider" down there, then a "taradolantula taradolantula taradolantula, taradolantula taradolantula taradolantula" down there, then a stringy "spadolider" that went up over my groin. I then did six more "spadolider"s at the bottom and a "taraeolantula" going all the way up, and I was done. I got some juice and went to bed.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Bernard says the K & E words again

I thought after Bernard learned the K & E words, he would never say them again. But then one day he came into my room . . .

Bernard started by talking about his video games and usual stuff. But then he said, "My stuff keeps disappearing".

I got a little deeper into the conversation and learned that possessions had been disappearing from his room.

"Maybe Jason's been taking them," I said.

"I sure hope not", he said. "I've got to keep an exe on him."

"Ewwwwwwww!", I said. "You said the K & E words!"

"Sorry, James", said Bernard. "I know you'll watch my room when I'm away from home. When you come home, you can watch it to make sure nobody steals."

That's quite unlikely. When I get home, I need to stay in my room so I don't hear the big, bad television set with its purge-inducing words.

I got out of my bed and began purging. I purged off those gummy K & E words for the next hour or so.

After I got back into my bed, I couldn't fall asleep again that day.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Rodney shoplifts

On Thursday, Rosa and Alejandra took us to Wal-mart, where I got my juices.

Then we went to the 99-cent store. We got the batteries I needed for my headphones, then Alejandra took me over to the section where they had Easter eggs left over from Easter.

I placed 16 Cadburys in my shopping cart. While I was looking for eggs that hadn't been opened or broken, Alejandra noticed Rodney.

Rodney was eating a beef jerky, straight from the store! He had opened the wrapper and started in on it.

When we got over to Rosa, Alejandra told her, "Kweisi was eating something from the store."

"Kweisi?", I asked. "I thought that was Rodney."

Alejandra was confused. Rosa asked whether it was Kweisi or Rodney. Rosa told her which man was which, and Alejandra said it was Rodney. She had gotten their names mixed up.

I made my purchase, then I heard Alejandra saying "ice xxxxx" when Kweisi came over with a drumstick in his hand.

"Blechhh!", I said.

"What's wrong?", asked Alejandra.

"Didn't you say the I-word?"

"No, I said, 'I wonder where Kweisi is . . . oh, there he is'."

"I know, but what did you say after that?"

"I said, 'I wonder where Kweisi is . . . oh, there he is'."

Great. She must have said the I-word and forgotten, because she couldn't explain what she said if it wasn't the I-word.

Taco Bell was on our schedule for lunch. "Who wants Taco Bell?", asked one of the coaches.

"I do", I said.

"I do", said Jolene at the same time. "I want a taco."

"Should I capitulate and buy her one?", I asked.

"Huh?", said Rosa.

"Should I capitulate and buy her one?"

"Sure, but just be sure you give it to her first, before she eats her other things. That way she won't already be full."

Alejandra and I walked into Taco Bell. Standing in line, I saw a woman with what appeared to be pajamdra pants on.

"Are those P-word pants she has on?", I asked Alejandra.

"Yes, those are", she replied.

"Do you know what the P-word is?"

"Yes, I know."

A little while later I heard a family at one table say something that sounded like "ice xxxxx". Did they say it? I listened and they said it again. It was definitely "ice xxxxx".

"Blechhh!", I said.

"What's wrong?", asked Aleiandra.

"They said the I-word!"

"I didn't hear that!"

I ordered two soft-shell tacos, a Crunch Wrap Supreme and a chicken chalupa. Then I gave my receipt to Alejandra so she could listen out for my number. I told her I'd be in the restroom.

I went into the restroom and unzipped my pants. A hemorrhage of purging came out. First came the pajamdra pants. "Pajahmdras, pajahmdras, pajahmdras", I chanted. After doing 80 "pajahmdras"es and finishing it up by connecting the legs, then the bottom to the top with six more "pajahmdras"es, I did the I-words.

When I was done, Alejandra was waiting outside for me. I followed her into the van. In the van, I looked in my bag. The woman had not put the tacos in! All I had was a Crunch Wrap Supreme and a chalupa!

"Why didn't you look while you were at Taco Bell?", asked Rosa.

"I was in the restroom when Alejandra picked up my order", I replied. "Now Jolene won't get her taco."

"Jolene will be fine", said Rosa.

We stood outside at Pinole Valley Park, as the others ate their lunch. While I was there, I saw a plastic frok on the ground. "Ewwwwww!", I said.

"James", said Rosa as we drove off to leave Pinole Valley Park, "We're going back that way, so do you still want Taco Bell or did you already get it?"

"I still want Taco Bell", I said. "I guess Jolene's full now, right?"

"Ask Jolene", said Rosa.

"Jolene, are you full?", I asked as we entered the Taco Bell drive-through.

I got no response.

"What do you want, James?", asked Rosa.

"Jolene, are you full?", I asked again.

"Jolene, do you want a taco?", asked Rosa.

"Yes", said Jolene, "I want a taco."

"I'll take two soft-shell tacos", I said.

After I paid and they handed me the bag, Jolene said, "OK, James, pass me up the taco."

"She's bossy!", said Alejandra.

"Jolene wants that taco!", said Rosa.

Jolene ate the taco, then thanked me.

When we stopped at Ken's house, Stan wanted to pick me up and have Alejandra and me carry my juices, my Easter eggs, my batteries and my Taco Bell order into the van. I drove with Stan, Bernard, Jason and Nick until almost 5:00. Then I got home and purged off the plastic silverware. I ate my Taco Bell, which by now was not very warm.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The McDonald's that played commercials

Today we had to pick up Lisa in Berkeley. Kweisi didn't come, and Jolene had an appointment, so there were only four with the group and we could keep it manageable.

We went to Wet Pets. One employee at the pet store got the albino pine snakes out of their cage and showed them to us. She kept telling us the snakes were "extremely kind". She also said she had snakes and lizards of her own at home. She offered me a chance to hold the snakes, but I told her I didn't want to have to wash my hands afterwards.

"Do you see the cobvebs?", I asked La Netta, pointing to the right corner of the pet store.

"Yes", said La Netta. "Do you see the bunnies?"

Two bunnies were sleeping together.

In Raley's, I told La Netta that I needed to use the restroom. She said I could use it at McDonald's.

La Netta showed me several lasagne, but the lasagne were either big and more than $7 or small and $2.99 or something. I finally decided on a ziti with meatballs dish instead of a lasagna.

When we were at the check-out, the cashier said, "Gxtcha" twice.

The first time I asked La Netta whether she said the G-word, and La Netta said no. "Was it just, 'Got ya?'," I asked.

La Netta confirmed that.

But then the cashier said it again and it was definitely, definitely "Gxtcha".

We got into McDonald's, but I heard commercials playing. While I was locking my stall, the voice in the commercial said, "The only thing that should jxggle at your barbecue should be the jell-O, not you!"

I purged off the cobwxbs and the "gxtcha"s, then got busy with "jxggle". La Netta knocked on my door.

"I'm not done purging!", I told her.

La Netta knocked again a few minutes later.

"Let me wash up", I said.

I finally got done purging off "jxggle" and washed my hands. Then I walked out with her.

"You heard it, didn't you?", I said.

"No", said La Netta.

"The commercial said, 'The only thing that should do the J-word at your barbecue is the jell-O, not you'."

"Oh," said La Netta. "I couldn't hear the commercial in the bathrooms."

"It was perfectly clear in the men's", I told her.

"I guess the women's is broken", she said.

Then we visited Lee's Garden, where they were out of tofu. I got chow mein, Hunan chicken and eggplants. While I went to pay for my order, I noticed two plastic froks turned over on the counter. "Ewwwww!", I said.

She didn't put plastic silverware in my order, so I walked out with La Netta, trying to avoid seeing her bag dangling from her arms.

"What's wrong?", asked La Netta.

"I don't want to look in your bag", I replied.

La Netta said, "Let me tie it up". Then she said, "Knot in it".

Thinking she had said, "Not in it", I asked, "They didn't give you one?"

"I said I put a knot in it", said La Netta.

"Oh, K-N-O-T. I thought you said 'not', N-O-T, like they didn't put one in."

At Eavis Park, I got out to purge in the restroom. When Ken finished eating, we did drops.

Monday, June 8, 2009

In-N-out Burger!

On Friday, Kweisi wanted to go to In-N-out Burger, so Rosa and La Netta decided they'd deviate from the schedule and take us there for lunch today.

The first site was the Pacific East Ranch Market. As we entered the main market, La Netta noticed I had something in my hair. She said it was a leaf.

She pulled it out and showed me. It looked like a leaf from some kind of plant of the order Liliales (a lily, an iris, an onion, garlic, a leek, a shallot, asparagus, a phormium, a watsonia, an agave, a yucca, etc.) "Was the tree touching me?", I asked.

"It probably was", she said.

"Did you see the tree touching me?"

"No."

I told her I didn't feel a tree. La Netta said it was from the time I got out of the van after we parked. "Does this mean you'll have to wash your hair?", she asked.

When I was in the Pacific East Ranch Market I saw a bxb. I purchased some frozen longans and a bottle of aloe juice. Then we left the store. When we got back to our van, I looked at the tree next to our van. This one was too high up to touch anyone with its leaves. Furthermore, its leaves were broad, instead of Liliales-like. I showed La Netta.

"I guess it's a mystery how those leaves got in your hair", she said.

We visited In-N-out Burger. We all went inside, for La Netta listened out for words for me. The people in the restaurant talked a lot about milkshxkes.

Afterwards, I went inside the Davis Park restroom, with my two hamburgers with onions only in the front of the van. I purged off the bxb, then purged off "shxke" several times.

"They don't have In-N-out Burger commercials", said Kweisi, when I got back in the van.

"That's right, they don't", I said.

"They have KFC commercials", he said.

"Yep."

"And they have Carl's, Jr. commercials."

"Carl's Jr. commercials are disgusting," I said.

"But they never have commercials for In-N-out Burger."

"Maybe that's because In-N-out Burger is native to California."

Then Kweisi got to talking about White Castle. "They have the little bxtty tiny burgers there", he said.

"Rrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Sorry!", said Kweisi. "I said the I-word!"

"No, you didn't say the I-word, you said the B-word", I said.

I went into the restroom and purged it off.

After La Netta helped Jolene changed, we did drops. Ken got home first, then Kweisi. After Kweisi was dropped off, we headed to my house and I closed my eyes.

"At my house," said Rosa, "We have a box, it's like an ice xxxxx box . . ."

"Blechhhh!", I said.

"Sorry", said Rosa. "Well, anyway, it's a box and I keep all our papers and old receipts in it."

"I hope someone's home", I said.

When we arrived at my house, it was 2:40. La Netta said no one was home.

"I hope Stan gets here soon, because I can't hold it in", I said.

Shortly, Stan arrived, letting me in my house and giving me my freedom.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Trouble in the restrooms

I usually think of restrooms as safe places to be -- safe from hearing words that will make me have to purge further -- but Thursday showed that this is not always so.

When we stopped at the gas station, I got Rosa to take me across the street to the restroom. After waiting a long time for a woman to finish, I entered the restroom and urinated as the person nearby peddled his NASCAR goodies. As I was in the restroom, I heard a woman outside saying, "Whxxps!" Well, I wasn't 100% sure it was "whxxps", but it was something with a WH, so I spent some time purging and then washed my hands and walked out.

"What took you so long?", asked Rosa.

Next on our schedule was Target. We started out by all going to the restrooms together. As I hung out in my stall, I heard a little girl outside saying, "Ice xxxxx". Again I wasn't sure, but that was what it sounded like. I began purging once again. Luckily, I got a sherbety taste coming up when purging that matched the taste of the word when I heard it, so I could do this quickly.

Our lunch was at Emeryville Marina. The group went to the restrooms together when Rosa came to help Jolene change herself. In the men's restroom I looked at a wall and I saw a dipser. It was the oval-round kind of dipser with thread-like legs, not bad as far as dipsers go, but this time I knew I had seen something that made me purge. I spent about 10 minutes purging the dipser off.

I usually think of a restroom as a place to relax -- to rest, as the name suggests; somewhere I can urinate and purge to my heart's delight, somewhere to get away from hearing words. But my experiences in these three restrooms on Thursday proved that I can hear or see something anywhere.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Drxpping!

We were in Barnes & Noble today. I was perusing a book about Egyptian gods and aliens, reading the chapter about the pyramids on Mars. La Netta was browsing weight loss books and talking to Jolene about how the latter needs to change herself. A man we didn't know was talking nearby.

That man said the word "drxpping". "Ewwwwww!", I said.

Then he mentioned sweat, and I learned he was talking about perspiration.

"James?", said La Netta.

"We're ready to go?", I asked.

"No. What happened?"

"Didn't you hear him?", I asked La Netta.

"I was talking to Jolene."

"He said the D-word."

"So I guess that means you want to go to the bathroom along with Jolene?"

"I do."

So I followed La Netta and Jolene around until we reached the restrooms. "I'll get you when Jolene is done", said La Netta.

I went in the restroom and began purging off "drxpping". One "dradolipping" that tasted like sweat. Two "dradolipping"s that tasted like sweat. Three "dradolipping"s that tasted like sweat.

After 90 times, I heard La Netta say, "James?"

"We're ready?", I asked.

"We're ready."

I finished just in time, then washed my hands with soap and water. Finally I came out.

La Netta really didn't hear that man? It seems that the times La Netta didn't hear are the times I know for certain I heard a word. I have become increasingly disillusioned with relying on La Netta to listen out for words for me. That's such a shame, because La Netta is the best hearer around.

Problems with the medicine

Taking this new liquid Prozac in the morning is turning out to be a problem.

On Monday morning, I was lying atop my bed when I heard the door open. With my exes closed, I opened my mouth thinking Stan was still here and he was about to give me my medicine.

I heard or felt nothing new. Finally, I wondered whether Stan was there. I opened my exes, and looked in my room, then I looked in the doorway.

In the open doorway was LaKeisha. I saw the bottom of her body. They were either pajamdra pants or sweatpants, but whatever they were, they were covered with allover print. I don't remember what the print was, but I had to purge them off -- after all, they could have been pajamdras.

I walked up to her and she had my medicine. She handed me the spoon, then the medicine bottle. I dropped the bottle.

"How can you take it with your exes closed?", she asked.

"I'll take them with my exes open", I said. "I just need to close my exes so I don't see your pants."

I purged and purged, first the print, then the pajamdras.

In the middle of my purging, LaKeisha came back in. I closed my exes suddenly.

"You still haven't taken it?", she asked.

"I'm purging", I replied.

I finished my purging then took that medicine. It tasted awful.

I gave LaKeisha my spoon and bottle back, then drank some tea to get that taste out of my mouth.

"They're waiting out there for you", said LaKeisha.

Being delayed, I didn't have time to put on the clotrimazole. I didn't even comb my hair. I just made it out to program as east as I could.

Having to purge off all my purges before I can swallow makes the ingestion of medicine difficult. It holds me up. Furthermore, having my medicine in the morning means I have limited time to purge, which makes it even more dieficult. If only there were a way.