Saturday, August 30, 2008

A day in the courtroom

On Thursday, Rosa was driving without a partner. She took Ken, Jolene and me along with her. Instead of going to Didi's as we were supposed to, she took us to traffic court in Richmond because she had an appointment there.

Ken, Jolene and I all stepped out of the van as we got there. I saw a little boy as we walked towards the house. Did he have Dipser-man shoes on?

I walked closer and saw his sandals. Oh, no! They were Dipser-man sandals! I would have to purge! Then, when Rosa got inside, she asked, "Where's Ken?"

"Excuse me", she said to one of the people in the courthouse. "You seen a White man?"

That description didn't help, and so she got out and saw Ken looking at the square.

"Ken, come in with us", she said.

Ken just sat there.

"What's wrong?", asked Rosa.

Ken didn't respond.

"Ken!", I called.

"Ken, I have to go", said Rosa. "If I don't go I get in trouble. I can't leave you here."

"Was there a fight at your house?", I asked Ken.

"No, he's scared to go in the courthouse", said Rosa.

So that was it. Ken was afraid of courthouses.

"Ken, I have to be in there by 9:30. It's 9:29 now."

Rosa finally called Wanda to pick Ken up. She traded Ken for Clarence, and Clarence would enter the court with us.

We gave the woman in the front of the courthouse all our cellphones and electronics. Then she let us in.

When I got in there, I saw another little boy with Dipser-man shoes. This one also had Dipser-man pants. Ugh!

The first two people to appear at court were a woman named Ms. Sethi and a man named Mr. Stack. The judge fined Ms. Sethi $187, and he found Mr. Stack not guilty.

Then came Mr. Williamson and one Walter Elias. Walter Elias averred that he could speak English fluently, even though the judge had heard that he was not fluent in English. The judge found both of them guilty.

The next two people who were scheduled didn't even show up. Instead, two police officers spoke about the incidents. The first one was driving on a suspended license. The judge threw the book at them, fining them additional amounts for being no-shows.

Then came one Andrew Greiner, who was found guilty.

After that, the judge took a break. He talked about foreign languages and asked if anyone spoke Spanish but was not fluent in English. One man said yes. Then she asked whether there were any other people not fluent in English, and a lady said she spoke Portuguese.

He wanted to point out that no one should appear in court wearing shorts, because "shorts are not appropriate attire for the courtroom".

After that, he warned about turning off electronic devices. He said he really didn't want to hear that someone was poor or bankrupt and would never be able to pay his or her fines again, and then hear this person's cellphone ringing. (He did make them all swear under oath, so I don't think they would lie.)

He said, "The computer doesn't know that you're a nice person. All is knows is whether the eine is paid, or not paid".

The judge said "Pardon" twice during the break.

After the break, he called the next three cases up. One was Rosa's.

Rosa took Jolene and me out of the courtroom, and collected her money. I found a wastebasket to spit into.

When Rosa finally left, Clarence, Jolene and I were with her. She traded Clarence for Ken again.

"Ken, next time, please, please, please tell me that you're afraid of going in the courtroom", said Rosa.

"OK, Rosa", said Ken.

I purged off the "pardon"s in the back as Rosa went to get Ken and me some Chinese food.

I ordered my Chinese food, and Ken ordered his, then I took my plastic silverware out. We were on our way to Miller's Knots.

When we got to Miller's Knots, I stepped out. I thought I heard someone from another group say "ice xxxxx".

"When are you going to bring the ice xxxxx?"

"BLECHHHHHH!", I yelled.

"Come over here, get the ice xxxxx!", she yelled.

"BLECHHHHHHH!!!!!!", I yelled again.

"I think James can hear us", another person told the coach.

"James hears us?", she asked.

I heard it three more times as I walked to the restroom with the sliding door. I began purging it off in all sort of different ways to reflect the different feelings they had to them. Some were soupy, while others were just screamed. While I was purging, I heard a female coach yell, "Who made this mxss?" She was standing right next to the restroom.

"Ewwwwwww!", I shouted.

I finished purging off "ice xxxxx", then I got to "mxss". For the rest of the trip, I did the Dipser-man purge rituals. Then Rosa called me and we left to change Jolene at another park. I finished purging off all the Dipser-mans in the back.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

67 cents too many

Today our CIWP group went to Trader Joe's. La Netta looked for the raisin bread in the bread section. There I saw some madeleines that were dipped half in chocolate and put them in the shopping cart. We went to the fruit section, where La Netta showed me some coconut date rolls (the ones that have the almond in them). We got some of those, then headed to the frozen foods.

I selected a pair of green chili and cheese tamales to heat up. La Netta put them in the shopping cart for me, then we visited the other side of the frozen food aisle.

"Take a look at the ice xxxxx", said Mike Williams. He said it with the accent on the "cream" rather than the "ice", the way older people do.

"Blechhhh!", I said.

"Different?", asked La Netta.

"Didn't you hear what Mike said?", I asked La Netta.

"No, I didn't."

"He said, 'Take a look at the I-word'."

"Oh."

"Is there a restroom here?"

"No."

La Netta continued to look at Trader Joe's, then I told her I needed to go to a restroom and couldn't hold it in.

La Netta took my sandwich bag to pay for my stuff while I was in the restroom. She then told Rosa she was taking me to the restroom.

Rosa didn't hear, so she had to repeat herself. I couldn't hold it in much longer.

That was when she got me to the restroom. It could fit only one person. I locked the door and unzipped my pants.

I saw the old black-and-white paintings of California's history on the walls. No pictures of ice xxxxx though. Good. I started purging. "Adolice, adolice cradoleam", I chanted. I wanted to be sure to get all the "ice"s first -- words like "nice" and "I said".''

Then I started in on "ice xxxxx" itself. "Adolice cradoleam, adolice cradoleam". I thrust my nails against my groin and tried to scoop it up.

I finally got the flavor right. "Adolice cradoleam". I did it. "Adolice cradoleam", going up over my abdomen and chest and neck. It came up.

I washed my hands, then opened the eoor. "La Netta", I called.

No La Netta. I walked back in and locked the door.

Finally, I heard La Netta. I opened the door and joined her.

"Wash your hands?", she asked.

"Yes", I replied.

"It was $7.67 said La Netta, so I handed them the ten and gave them 67 cents."

She saw my face. "What's the matter?", she asked.

"That's 67 cents too many," I replied.

"What's the problem -- you don't want too many ones?", I asked.

"I don't. That's one dollar bill too many."

"Well, I made sure that none of them were . . . were . . ."

"Pyramid side up?"

"Yeah."

She gave me my sandwich bag, and we walked out.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Shocked

Today I was listening to Star 101 at CIWP. It was playing a song, and then La Netta switched stations to the gospel station, the Light.

After the song on the Light finished, the DJ began talking. She said, "Try and keep an exe on that for you".

"Ewwwwww!", I spurted.

La Netta turned the radio off.

"Why don't you like that phrase?", asked La Netta.

"I'll tell you after I'm done purging", I said.

La Netta kept the radio off to alleviate my radio shock for the rest of the ride to the office. When I got into the office, I entered the restroom and locked the door.

My hands went onto my groin, my solid nails scraping against my golden skin and upward over my navel, chest and neck. "Adolye, adolye, adolye", I chanted.

Then I shaped my hands into C shapes so that my index nails were right against my pelvis. I gave sharp punctures to my skin as I chanted "adolye, adolye". After I had judged seven of those punctures to be jolting enough, I started chanting "keep an adolye on, keep an adolye on". I made sure to give the puncture to my skin right at the "adolye".

Finally I thought, keep an adolye on as I did an "adolye" at my groin and a second "adolye" right up my body and up to my mouth. Then I said, "keep an adolye on", puncturing my groin at the "adolye" and then said "keep an adolye on" as I punctured my groin and moved the index nails and thumbnails of my two hands right over my abdomen, chest, neck, chin and lower lip. The "keep an exe on" finally came out of my intestines and stomach and out through my mouth.

When I was back and driving with La Netta, I spoke to her. "La Netta", I said.

"Yes?", said La Netta.

"That phrase makes me purge because it makes me think of an eye dangling from its socket, and sitting on top of something."

"Oh, OK", said La Netta.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Peach rings and candy necklaces

Today La Netta picked up Ken, me and no one else. Rosa had called off, she said, so she only had half her group.

We went to Target, but I didn't have to buy any juices, having gone to Wal-mart yesterday, so we just sort of browsed. La Netta looked at some clothes, then she asked me if there was anything I wanted to look at. I said taffy. We didn't find any taffy, so we headed for the check-out counter.

La Netta picked up Jolene at the office, then took me to the Chinese restaurant in El Cerrito, where I got chow mein, teriyaki chicken and basil fish.

La Netta then drove us back to the office, where she left at noon, having an appointment. She told me Don would come to take me home. Maria would take Jolene and Ken home.

Maria gave me the keys to the van to pick up my Chinese food. As I picked it up, Don talked to her. Maria said, "Pardon?"

I growled. "Did you hear what Maria said?", I asked Don.

"What did she say?", Don asked.

"The word that rhymes with 'garden' . . ."

"Ohhhhhhhhh. Yeah. Old man."

Don drove me home, all the while listening to the radio and switching stations. We tried some KFRC, but also some KOIT. KFRC was playing "Eight Days a Week" by the Beatles.

We stopped twice for Robin to go to the bathroom. Don also stopped once at a convenience store, where he came out with peach rings and a candy necklace for me. I was delighted!

When Don got home, it was 2:30 and Ken and Bernard were waiting around for Stan. Stan dropped me off with a staff named Tina. "Ken's an army guard, he'll keep an exe on things", said Don.

"Ewwwww!", I said.

"Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h!", said Don. "Mxssing up at the end of the day. SCREWING up!"

Don left us, and Stan soon came to let me in, so I could purge off those K and E words.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

All my fault

When I was picked up today, it was 9:05. We drove all the way over to Alameda to pick up Dante, then we went all the way back to get Jolene, who had had a doctor's appointment. Those doctors' appointments are important -- we've got to keep our Jolene in good shape. So I didn't mind being so late to pick everyone up. We then drove over to the office.

Being so late, we skipped the library and headed straight to Wal-mart.

"This part of CIWP sponsored by . . . Kentucky Fried Chicken. Life tastes better with KFC", said Mike Williams.

Rosa took me to the restroom, where I spent some time in there. La Netta asked whether I wanted juices, and I said yes. Jolene got to saying she needed to use the restroom.

"Hold on", said La Netta. "Wait until we can get your diaper. We don't have diapers with us."

When I was done with the restroom, Rosa took me over to La Netta, who was pushing Jolene. She took me to the juice section. They had no apple juice in those big bottles of the type I usually get, so I selected a Hawaiian punch and some kiwi/strawberry juice.

We carted off from the juice aisle for the pastry aisle, where La Netta picked up six pies. Then we were on our way to the check-out.

I picked the ten out of my bag, then faltered and gave the cashier my five. I told her I was sure I wanted to do it. After I received my change for my two juices, something fell off the table.

"Whxxps, sorry", said the cashier.

"D'OH!", I said, hitting my head. "D'OH!"

La Netta pulled my fist away from my head so I would stop punching it.

"Did I knock it off, or did she knock it off?", I asked La Netta.

"You knocked it off", she said.

Great. So because of my laziness and inability to watch where I was going, I heard a WH-word. It was all my fault.

La Netta said that Rosa would be looking for diapers, but now Jolene was saying she didn't have to go to the bathroom.

We exited Wal-mart and stood around the car, waiting for Rosa.

La Netta said Rosa would be looking for our group in the store, unaware that Jolene no longer needs to change her diaper . . .

Then Jolene started complaining that she needed to go again. Oh dear. And I needed to purge.

We stood around and Rosa finally arrived. "Why don't you change her?", La Netta asked. "I can't go back in because James knocked a pie off the counter and he started hitting himself." So it was a pie that I knocked off?

Rosa didn't go back in for some reason that I missed. We headed straight to KFC.

"Oh, yes, indeed", said Mike.

Once we got to KFC, I entered the men's room and La Netta walked Jolene to the women's room. I started purging off "whxxps". I had thought the word before, and so had to do a bit of rubble clearing.

I heard Mike outside. I opened the door and let Mike in. He used the toilet while I purged.

Mike finished, and I locked the door up again. Then La Netta told me, "James, someone else needs to use the restroom."

"I'm not finished purging off the WH-word", I told her. La Netta opened the door and Jolene walked out, and she let the gentleman use the ladies' room.

I finished purging off the WH-word, and bought one original leg and two original thighs when I stepped out. Then we stayed until just after 1:00, when we left to drop off Dante.

As we were approaching Ken's house, Ken said, "Stan Man takes us axx oxxx the pxxxx". Rosa kept talking, and said "all" and "over" and "place". I groaned.

I explained that Rosa's anecdotes were making my purging worse, and I would have to purge a lot more when I got home. So Rosa was quiet . . . for a while.

When I got home, I said good-bye to Jolene and stopped off with Tiffany. We stood around waiting for Stan to come.

I saw a plastic frok littered near the garbage can. "Ewwwww!", I spurted.

When Stan finally got here, it was 3:35. This was the latest he had ever been.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Two "pardon"s

Yesterday, La Netta drove with Kay to pick up Mike Williams, Ken, Jolene and me.

"And a Buick LeSabre", said Mike. "And another Buick LeSabre."

Ken said something to Mike, and Mike said, "Pxrdon, Ken?"

"Rrrrrr!", I growled.

The first stop on our schedule was Barnes & Noble. La Netta went to the wrong one at first, so we had to drive over to the Barnes & Noble in El Cerrito. All the while, I was purging off "pardon" in the back seat.

I finished off purging off Mike's "pardon" in the men's restroom at Barnes & Noble. Being in the restroom allowed me to stand up and pull my pants down, so I could propel my nails all the way around my scrotum to do that twisted part that goes up at the end of my "padolardon" ritual.

Then I joined La Netta. But she had lost Mike.

I told La Netta I purged off the word "pardon", and she asked who said it. I told her that it was Mike, and she said she didn't recall Mike saying the word. I told her he said it to Ken.

She looked all around the store until Kay said she had seen Mike at the music section. Kay took me to the music section, where I looked at CD's. Some System of a Down, some KT Tunstall, some Third Eye Blind.

I found T.A.T.U. and showed it to La Netta. I explained to her that T.A.T.U. were two Ukrainian girls who had a lesbian kiss in one of their videos.

"Is that the artist who does 'I Kissed a Girl'?", asked La Netta.

"No, that's Katy Perry", I told her.

We both listened to T.A.T.U.

I put Third Eye Blind's Blue in the headphone scanner and listened to the first two songs. "Are you ready to go?", asked La Netta.

"Let me finish listening to Third Eye Blind first", I told her. I played their third song, then she and I left.

As we drove to Berkeley Marina to eat lunch, Mike said, "Thank you for tuning in to CIWP. Call us at (510) 528-2287 or visit ciwp.org".

La Netta said something, and then Kay said, "Pxrdon?"

"Rrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Is that not a good word?", she asked.

"Yes."

"The last word I said?"

"Yes."

"Oh, I didn't know that." I would think she'd know that, considering she was the one with Maria the way we went to Antioch together and the word was spoken three times.

When we made it you Berkeley Marina, La Netta said she'd lead me to the restroom. I saw white spots on the ground.

"Is this white paint, or were the birds having a field day?", I asked her.

"The birds were having a field day", she said.

I stepped, dodging all the guano, until I made it to the restroom. I purged off Kay's "pardon".

La Netta drove Ken and Mike home. While we were driving, Kay said, "those little bxtty . . ." I don't remember what it was, but it was a little bxtty something. I growled.

By the time Stan was there for me, I had already finished purging the B-word off.

Two "pardon"s in one day is a bit much for me. It reminds me a bit of living at home with my father. That was, like, my father's favorite word. When I was living with him, I'd start plugging my ears every time someone began to speak to him. I wouldn't like to relive these memories.

But then again, how many memories from my life would be nice to relive?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Pajamdra-drama

La Netta was driving alone with Mike Williams, Ken and me on Friday.

"How are you?", asked Mike.

"I'm sleepy", I said.

"Oh! That's wonderful!"

"It's wonderful that he's sleepy?", asked La Netta.

Since she didn't have to pick up too many people and was early, she said she could squeeze Wal-mart into my schedule today so I could get my juices.

"Close-captioning for CIWP is sponsored by KFC -- life tastes better with KFC. And Ross -- it's a brand-new day", said Mike.

We drove to Wal-mart, but instead of getting the juices first thing La Netta wanted to visit customer service.

Standing in the line at customer service, I heard a television playing. The announcer talked about some junior-high-age twins named Zach and Cody Martin both running for class president. Then he said, "forward a few grades to high school" and covered Raven Baxter and someone named . . . Alaina? The announcer then talked about Kim Possible and her archnemesis.

Kim Possible mentioned that she was "going to hold a pajxmx party".

Oh great, I thought, I'm going to need to purge. La Netta better get me somewhere quick.

But then it got worse. I heard the announcer say, "Did I hear someone say pajxmx party?"

The announcer pronounced "pajxmx" the same way La Netta does, with the middle A as in "hammer". This was really going to make trouble for me!

Kim, conversely, had pronounced it to rhyme with "drama". It was the pronunciation of the Hollywood Kim Possible pitted against the pronunciation of the Wal-mart guy. Blue vs. Red America. All making me purge.

I felt as if I was going to burst as La Netta stood in line. "La Netta", I called her name.

"Plug your ears, James", she said.

Then La Netta strutted up to customer service. She got what she needed and took me to get my juices. I bought an apple juice and a Hawaiian punch, and then purchased them.

"Your sister was very tri-fl-ing", said Mike as we got in the van.

I started purging off the second "pajxmx". Boy, this was going to be difficult.

"Lenny Kravitz", said Mike in response to the song on the radio, "It Ain't Over Till It's Over. 1988."

We stopped at something La Netta called the "wallet store", filled with clothes. She told me to close my eyes as I went in.

They played some rap and R&B songs, then did "Apologize" by OneRepublic. During the next song we left. I had to ask La Netta several times whether the singer/rapper had said a word.

I asked La Netta when we were going to get to the Berkeley Marina, which was on our schedule. She said she had sacrificed the Berkeley Marina to go to Wal-mart, so we weren't going to go there. Thus did I miss a good opportunity to purge.

The next stop was a beauty shop. La Netta let me stay in the van while they went in.

They came out after only, what, five minutes? We were on our way to Safeway.

"We were driving axx oxxx the pxxxx", said Ken.

"Rrrrrr", I growled.

"I'm sorry", said Ken.

I told La Netta I needed to use the restroom, so she let me in (after Ken used it).

I purged and purged. I finally untied that knot that was that announcer's mispronounced singular "pajxmx". I had had to do that one on Wednesday, so it was pretty irksome. After I finished that, I started in on Ken's "axx oxxx the pxxxx". "Adolall, adolall adolover the pladolace."

"James?", called La Netta.

"Let me finish with this word", I told her.

"Adolall adolover the pladolace", I chanted.

Finally I got finished with my "axx oxxx the pxxxx". Mike called me. I told Mike I was washing up.

"What did James say?", La Netta asked Mike. Mike didn't really give her an answer.

I finished washing my hands and unlocked the door bolt. I zipped up and joined La Netta outside.

I explained to La Netta that I had told Mike I was washing up. She asked me what I wanted to get, and I told her that I sought some macaroni salad.

We got the salad, then walked by another aisle where the Intercom was playing.

"Rice, where you can get deals on ice xxxxx", said the Intercom man.

"Blechhh!", I exclaimed.

"What happened?", asked La Netta.

"They said the I-word on the Intercom", I replied. "Didn't you hear what they were saying on the Intercom?"

"Not really", said La Netta. "I didn't hear everything. We'll have to take you somewhere."

When I brought my macaroni salad up to the check-out counter, they said, "$5.49".

"But this only cost $3.90 at the other Safeway", I said.

"Do you have a Safeway rewards card?", the cashier asked La Netta.

La Netta showed her card, and they checked to see if it would reduce the price on this item. It didn't.

I desperately dug for money in my sandwich bag. I thought I had only brought out $2 in dollar bills, but La Netta said it was $3.

I got some quarters, then some dimes, then I had $5.35 on the counter.

"$5.49", the cashier said.

I added a dime and four more pennies, then I was ready to leave with my macaroni salad.

Our lunch was at Kennedy Grove. La Netta accompanied the group to its lunch site, and showed me the restroom along the way.

Furiously, I purged off the I-word. I needed to purge off the word "price" before getting to the "adolice cradoleam" part.

Some kids were out there with their bicycles, and their parents said the word "bicycle".

Lekissybe, mearc cie, I thought. "Adolice, adolice cradoleam, adolice cradoleam".

"Adolice cradoleam, adolice cradoleam", I chanted.

I went on with "ice xxxxx" for minutes and minutes and minutes. My least favorite food.

La Netta asked me whether I was ready, and I said no. She said the group was done eating its pizza.

I kept on purging, but by now the steam had run out. It wasn't tasting cold enough for me to get the "ice xxxxx" to come back up. Instead I tasted cured ham, the dry warmth of my skin, the skin of my groin against which I was rubbing.

I tried a solution: pour cold water over my groin. I poured some into my hands, but unfortunately the water landed on the bottom of my shirt instead of getting poured onto my groin. I turned the blow-drier on and blew my shirt dry.

I made a second attempt at pouring water on my groin, and this time it hit the spot. It worked, and I was able to feel cold enough to taste ice xxxxx coming up again as the I-word came right out of me.

Then I did the first "pajxmx". This one was pronounced to rhyme with "drama", so it went fairly quickly. All I had to do was think "ytrap amazhdap, ytrap zamazhdap, ytrap zamazhdap, ytrap zamazhdap", then chant "pajamdra, pajamdras, pajamdras, pajamdras", then chant a "pajamdra" going up over my groin-abdomen-chest-throat-mouth, then chant "pajamdras", then do a "pajamdras" going up, and I was done.

La Netta offered me the pizza that they had left, but I didn't like Little Caesar's, so I said I'd give it to Bernard. La Netta decided to let Ken have it instead.

With all that pajamdra-drama we had today, I was ready to say "TGIF". Thank God I wouldn't have to be exposed to any more of that for the rest of the week.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

We meet Kweisi

Yesterday Rosa took Jolene into the restroom to change herself. (When she had asked who needed to go to the restroom, Jolene immediately raised her hand and said, "I do".) As soon as she took Jolene in, a big mass of feces fell out of her diaper and splattered onto the toilet seat and floor. She spent what must have been half an hour cleaning Jolene's feces up.

This morning, Rosa was talking with La Netta about the incident as we drove to the office. "We got it all over the toilet, and on the floor . . . axx oxxx the pxxxx."

"Ewwwwww!", I said. I continued purging off words like "all right" and other phrases that had "all", "over" or "place" in them, until we got to the office. That's when I entered the restroom and purged in peace, with the sound of the fan rotating.

La Netta moved into a second van with me, while Rosa took our usual van into Firestone for service. After we both arrived at Firestone, everyone got into La Netta's new van. It had leather seats instead of the seats of fabric in our usual van. I really liked lying down in it!

La Netta held my hand as we walked through TJ Maxx. Jolene and she and I all went to the restroom for a while, then La Netta and I searched for turtlenecks. We didn't find any. Come on, a store as cool as TJ Maxx has got to have turtlenecks! I found some saltwater taffy in the food section, but didn't buy it.

That was when La Netta took me to Trader Joe's. She started out visiitng the fruit section and buying salads and sandwiches. As she was selecting a salad, I heard a customer say "ice". No "cream". Then the customer uttered his next sentence: "Take me to your ice xxxxx".

"Blechhh!" I said. "La Netta, get me to the restroom."

'We're not going to have much time", said La Netta. "So tell me what you want to get and I can get it for you while we're in there."

"I want . . . something chocolate", I decided.

"What would you like? Chocolate raspberries?" Right then, La Netta told me we were right next to the chocolate section so she had me look myself.

Was the bottom row ice xxxxx? "Is it safe to look at the bottom row?", I asked La Netta.

"Yes, it is", La Netta said.

I looked until I saw what I had selected last time: chocolate-covered cashews. The box had both cashews in milk chocolate and cashews in dark chocolate.

I made it to the restroom. That "ice xxxxx" had a chunky taste to it, so I tried to capture the chunky taste as I purged it off and chanted "adolice cradoleam, adolice cradoleam".

La Netta knocked. "La Netta?", I asked.

"Yes, James", she said.

"I'm almost ready. I have to wash up", I told her.

I finished the "ice xxxxx" and washed my hands and nails (there was feces stuck in my nails), then zipped up and dried my hands.

We now went straight to the check-out, picking up some Juice Squeeze along the way (the blackberry pomegranate flavor). I bought my stuff for $7.something and we were on our way out.

"Be sure to bring in the froks", I heard some employee in Trader Joe's call to his companion as I exited the store with La Netta.

I was planning on purging when I got to the office. Then I heard something that really made me have to purge.

"Charles got out to greet them, and he was wearing pajxmx pants", said La Netta. Right then she said, "Oh!"

She talked with Rosa about that. Rosa said she had seen him like that.

"That's completely inappropriate", said La Netta. "You don't come out of the house like that unless you're sick and you're being taken to the hospital."

When I got to the office, I started out by doing some "fadorork, fadorork". Then I did "pajxmx", which was a nightmare considering it was in the singular and La Netta had mispronounced it.

When I finally got out, La Netta moved my Trader Joe's bag to the back of the van to make room for six clients. "Rodney and Kwazy are coming in", said La Netta.

"Crazy?!?", I said.

"Is that your name?", asked La Netta.'

"Kweisi", said this new man.

"Did he say 'Kweisi', like Kweisi Mfume?", I asked La Netta.

"Probably", she said.

"Do you know who Kweisi Mfume is?", I asked her.

"No."

"He's president of the NAACP."

"Is this NAACP here?", asked Kweisi.

"This is CIWP", said La Netta.

We drove to Firestone and got in the van. "What does the name Kweisi mean?", La Netta asked. "Where does it come from."

"It's from Ghana", I told La Netta.

La Netta still wanted to know the meaning of the name. I was going to explain to her how Ghanaians gave their children names depending on the day of the week they were born, but then we got sidetracked. "You want to know, La Netta?", I asked.

"Is that your name?", asked Kweisi. "La Netta?"

"Yes," said La Netta.

"This is La Netta Crater", I said.

"Hey," said Kweisi, "You can talk. What's your name?"

"My name is James Landau", I said.

"James? My father's name is James. James Jones."

I learned that Kweisi was dating Shawntay. He said his sister was Sikena.

"My name is Kweisi Colon", I said. He pronounced it like the colon in your digestive system.

"I thought that name was pronounced 'cologne'," I said.

"That's right! Cologne!", said Kweisi.

While we drove, Kweisi kept showing me his CD player. "Does your CD player look like this?", he asked me.

"No, my CD player is dieferent", I said.

We dropped La Netta off at Firestone, where she took Jolene, Ken and Mike Williams, leaving Darnell with Rodney, Kweisi and me.

Kweisi had some New Edition and some Poison in his CD player. We talked for a while about is love of those artists.

"How old are you, Kweisi?", I asked him.

"I'm 31", he replied.

"I'm 28."

Darnell dropped Kweisi off in Hercules. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, he got me home.

It was a fairly rough day, hearing the word "pajxmx" in its mispronounced singular form, having to purge off an I-word, and having a shower to not look forward to and the end of the day. But at least I got some chocolate-covered cashews to enjoy. In short, one could say it was a long summer day. But I had tomorrow to look forward to. Who knows what will come tomorrow? And I have $13 to spend tomorrow.

Monday, August 11, 2008

The Everything Psychic Book

Today we went to Ross together without any problems, then we went to Barnes and Noble.

La Netta spent time in the women's restroom, then afterwards I visited the New Age section while La Netta and the group were looking at magazines nearby.

I found a book called the Everything Psychic Book. On its cover I saw someone in his pajamdras astrally projecting by sitting on the corner of his bed. They were blue-and-white-striped pajamdras.

We ran out of time at Barnes and Noble and left to go to Subway. While I was there I asked La Netta where the restroom was. She said Subway had none.

"I can't hold it in", I told La Netta.

"What's wrong -- you see something?", asked La Netta.

"Yes."

"What did you see?"

"Do I have to tell you?"

"No." La Netta paused awhile, then asked, "Was it something red?"

"No."

I purged off the pajamdras in the van. We went on quietly until John's appointment.

John told me he would be on vacation the next two Mondays. Then the day after that would be Labor Day. After Labor Day would be the next Monday he could see me, September 8.

I told him that that was my birthday. John wrote that down.

"Do you celebrate your birthday?", John asked.

"Well, last time I had pineapple upside-down cake", I replied.

"Is that your favorite kind of cake?"

"Besides liqueur cake. And I also like lemon meringue pie."

I paused. "I know you read my blog entry, '28 going on 29'."

"I did", said John.

"You know what I really wanted for my twenty-eighth birthday?"

"No, what?"

"You don't recall?"

"I don't."

"It was to have Lamesha over."

"What would you like for your twenty-ninth birthday?"

"Nothing special." I paused a long time. "Oh, except for having Lamesha over."

I told him about the time La Netta saw Zicheas recently. He told her that Lamesha was at home, braiding hair.

"I know Lamesha's thinking about you", said John.

"Yeah, she must be", I said. "She's crazy about me!"

I told John how Tiffany had run into Lamesha at the mall lately. "That means she must be well enough to leave her house", I said.

"And what does that mean for you?", John asked.

"It means there's a possibility she can come to see me on my birthday."

"You never know with vertigo -- one day you have it, the next day it's gone. And then it comes back again. You can't predict it."

I theorized that having so many people praying for her was helping Lamesha feel better, and that she was finally recovering from the effects of vertigo.

3:15 came, and John checked for Aaron -- he wasn't there. At 3:30, John heard Aaron outside at the door, and said, "It's been nice seeing you, James."

"It's been nice seeing you, John", I said, and I exited his office.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Jolene wants a taco

"Evil Ways", said Mike Williams at the song that was playing on the radio. "Santana. 1970."

We drove along with Lisa, Mike, Jolene, Ken and Sikena in the van, and La Netta and Clarissa driving on that Friday morning.

"Keep your exe on the road", said Mike, "You're doing a swell job, La Netta."

"Ewwwwww!", I exclaimed.

Once we were at the office, La Netta told me I could use the restroom. I went in there to purge.

Jolene, Lisa and Sikena all went in with Clarissa, while the guys stayed with La Netta.

"Do you want to buy some chocolate at See's?", La Netta asked me.

"I sure do", I replied.

"OK. Then I guess we'll go to GNC."

We entered See's, albeit without Jolene. That woman loves to pop chocolate samples right in her mouth!

I picked out five chocolates and got a sixth as a free sample. One of the chocolates I tried was a mocha kona, which was colored white on the outside with orange flakes.

Then La Netta took us to GNC. She had heard about hyssop from a friend and was looking for it at the store.

The cashier helped her out by pointing her to the H's, but they didn't have any hyssop. La Netta looked around for a long time, while I asked the cashier how much a Detour bar was. He said it came out at $3.13. I told him that was too much, so he put it back.

La Netta was finally ready to go. Meanwhile, I hadn't gotten the "keep your exe on" out of me. It had such a jelly-bean taste to it. I purged in the van until I was done.

La Netta drove up to the office, where she collected Clarissa and our female clients. We drove up to Taco Bell. "I want a taco", said Jolene.

I didn't want Jolene to be disappointed, so once I went in, I ordered not only a hard-shell taco, a Crunch Wrap Supreme and a spicy chicken burrito for myself but a hard-shell taco for my friend.

Once we got to Vincent Park, I followed the rest of the group to the eating area, rather than going to the restrooms as I usually do. I walked up to the woman with the walker, and said, "Jo-lene . . . I've got something for you!"

Jolene took my taco that I was holding. She put it next to her.

I make a circle around the eating area. When I came back full circle, I saw Jolene eating the taco.

"Do you see what Jolene's eating?", I asked Clarissa.

Jolene finally thanked me for the taco.

The conversation between Lisa and Clarissa turned to the restrooms, and how they were cleaning them out right now.

"That restroom's a real mxss", said Lisa.

"Ewwwww!", I exclaimed.

I told La Netta I was going to the restroom.

"Why?", asked La Netta.

"Lisa said the M-word", I answered.

I spent the rest of the day in the restroom. There was water on the floor. I purged until we left to change Jolene somewhere else.

As I disembarked that day, I told Jolene, "I'm glad you liked your taco".

"Thank you", she said one last time.

S?

On Thursday, Darnell was with our group, and as usual, he said the M-word. I cringed as he quickly apologized for his loose mouth.

I thought it was going to be a bad day, but was pleasantly surprised when La Netta announced that we were going to the Pacific East Ranch Market.

Once we got there, I held on to La Netta and we looked at the fruit -- oranges, bananas, lychees, melons, apples, kiwifruit, mangoes. After La Netta made some selections, I asked to go to the section with the crackers and cookies.

I saw the rice crackers I had bought there many times before, but didn't feel like spending that much money on them. Instead I was drawn by some shrimp chips. Those delicious shrimp chips! I looked at three or four different brands before putting one in the cart.

I saw some small green tea cookies in a jar. Interested, I took a closer look. "New and txstier", they announced. Blechhh! I put them down. I was not going to biy that.

I looked where the candy was, and found some White Rabbit candies. They were shaped like Brach's assorted rolls, but where made of milk and red bean. I selected some of those, then got some gummi lychees. How delicious!

I continued to look when I saw a bag that said "Crisp and txsty". That would be two T-words to purge off. I better stop looking, I thought.

La Netta and I left the section and went to where the Chinese food was being served. I heard Ken saying, "Whxxps!"

"Did Ken say the WH-word?", I asked La Netta.

"He said, 'Ohhhhhp'," La Netta told me.

I asked for chow mein, which the lady served me, then she gave me the tray. I put some sole on it, then some broccoli beef.

"Do you want to add a bit of calamari on the top?", asked La Netta.

"Sure", I said, and put six calamari rings atop my order.

One of the calamari rings fell off when I was ordering. "Do you want to put it back on?", La Netta asked.

"What do I put it back on with?" was my response.

"Do you mind if I use a frok?", asked La Netta.

"Use a spoon", I said.

"No frok", La Netta told the cashier.

"No frok?", she asked her back.

"I'd like chopsticks", I said.

She actually gave me a pair of wooden chopsticks. I wasn't expecting that.

When we got out, I hit the van, and began to purge off "txsty" and "txstier".

We stopped at La Netta's house, and I continued purging.

Then I did some "fadorork, fadorork, fadorork". I was einally done.

La Netta started chatting with Darnell again. She talked about her niece, Revlon, who had been expelled from school after getting suspended again and again. Revlon stayed with La Netta for a while because her mother was a drug addict. After Revlon hit Sierra, La Netta kicked her out of the house and made her move back in with La Netta's brothers and sisters.

I heard Darnell say "You've got a mxss here", so I went "Ewwww!"

"Sorry, James", said Darnell.

"What was Darnell talking about?", I asked La Netta. "Tell me his exact sentence, but don't say the M-word. Say 'M'."

"He said 'S'," said La Netta"

"He said 'S'? What did he mean by S?"

"It's something he and I came up with, that he could say when he felt like saying the M-word," said La Netta. "He was talking about Revlon."

"Did you say 'S'?," I asked Darnell.

"Yes, I did", he said.

"Then why did he say, 'Sorry'?", I asked La Netta.

"I think because he was confused when he heard you hollering", said La Netta.

I was driven to Ken's house with my Chinese food and my other market goodies in my hands. I stayed in the bathroom, putting my food down and chilling to avoid the television in the other room.

Finally Stan was reading to take me (not to mention Bernard) home.

While I was leaving, Bernard closed the door on my hand. I had to but my black shoe behind the screen, outside of the door, to inspect the door for cobwxbs in the screening. Can't get any of those on me.

After finding no cobwxbs, I left to get driven home by Pia and eat my Chinese food.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Chimichangas are not txsty!

Darnell picked me up along with La Netta today. As I rode with him to Jolene's house, I heard Darnell talk about his job. "They talk mxss about you . . ." he said.

"Ewwwww!", I responded.

"Sorry, James", said Darnell.

After we got to Lisa's house, Mike Williams asked me, "What did you have for dinner last night?" I tried to answer but Darnell and La Netta kept talking.

Mike asked me again.

"Darnell is talking", I told Mike.

"What did you say?", asked Darnell.

"I said Darnell is talking. I need to answer Mike's question."

"Oh, OK", said Darnell. He stopped talking.

"I had a chimichanga", I told Mike.

"Oh!", said Mike, "How txsty!"

"Blecccccccchhhhhhhhhhhh!", I called out.

"Mike", said La Netta, "James doesn't like that word."

"Close the door", I told Darnell. So Darnell closed the door and I began purging.

Then we had to open the door for Lisa, and move Jolene to the back.

"Maybe Lisa can sit in the back", said Darnell.

"Fine then", said Lisa.

"NOOOOOOOOO!", I said. I was going to have to purge. And I knew Lisa didn't like my purging.

"OK, I'll sit in the middle", said Lisa. So Lisa sat in the middle.

Lisa had some problems with her seatbelt.

"Scxxt your legs over", Darnell told her.

"Rrrrrrr!", I said.

"Sorry. MOVE your legs over."

La Netta asked what was wrong and I told her I had to purge off the SC-word. So she drove me to Washington Park and gave me ten minutes.

I purged off the word "txsty", then I did some "scadoloot your legs over".

I was finished, so I used the toilet.

"Are you ready?", asked La Netta.

"Just let me flush and wash", I said.

I flushed the toilet handle and then washed my hands with soap. Ten rubs back and forth for each finge, a hundred rubs total.

We then spent some time in TJ Maxx because La Netta's pants were coming down. La Netta shopped around for clothes and also went to the restroom. Someone showed Darnell and me the men's restroom.

I began purging off the word "mxss" in that restroom. I was hoping that someone would get out of the smaller stall, becacuse the lock on the bigger one didn't seem to work. I waited for that man in there.

Darnell came after ten minutes, and asked whether I was ready to go. I said no, so he said he'd come back in another five minutes.

The man in the small stall finally came out. I entered, and found that a hard stall to lock. It just wouldn't lock. So I finished off my "madoless" and prayed that no one would come in and say, "Whxxps, sorry".

Darnell came in again, and said we were ready to go. So I left, and went into Starbuck's with them. Lisa bought a doughnut there.

We then went into Old Navy. After maybe a third of an hour there, we left, with La Netta having bought something.

"Lisa seems so grouchy", said La Netta. "I think it's because she sees people buying stuff."

Our next stop was McDonald's. La Netta was going to enter the restroom of McDonald's and change her pants. She asked me if I wanted to come along.

I made a huge mistake and said no.

I stayed in the van, and Lisa began talking. "I don't like their hot dogs", she said. "They're mxshy."

"Ewwwwww!", I said.

"Sorry", she said. "They put too much mustard on them." She went on a rant about McDonald's hot dogs. Or was it McDonald's?

La Netta finished with changing herself, and entered the van. She drove us to Washington Park a second time.

"Madolushy. Madolushy, madolushy, madolushy, madolushy", I chanted in the restroom.

I repeated "Madolushy, madolushy, madolushy, madolushy" so that I said 90 "madolushy"s. While I was there, Ken came in.

"Robert is an idiot", he said.

"M-hm."

"Robert asks so many stupid questions."

"Yeah."

"He doesn't know what he's doing."

"M-hm."

"He doesn't know anything. Anything at all."

"Yeah."

"Robert is just so dumb."

I heard La Netta call my name. I answered La Netta.

"There are so many kids playing outside, that I came to get you," she said.

I decided to stay until I finished purging off "mxshy". Then I exited the restroom and held onto La Netta's arm. She walked me back to the van.

"CIWP is brought to you by . . . Safeway", said Mike. "Ingredients for life."

As we drove to Lisa's house, the topic of Darnell and La Netta's conversation turned towards computers. La Netta's computer had broken and she went two years without a functional computer, and she had just bought a new one.

Darnell was explaining to her what the parts of a computer were.

"And the modem is that little bxtty square part", he said.

"Rrrrrrr!", I growled. I don't think he even heard.

The conversation turned to MySpace. "I don't get involved in that MySpace mxss", said Darnell.

"Ewwwww!", I said.

"Sorry, sorry. I don't get involved in that MySpace stuff. Because MySpace will stop your computer from working."

We dropped off Mike, who said, "Thank you all for being here". Then we hit Fernandez Park.

I used the restroom to purge off both "bxtty" and "mxss". Then I came out and talked to Ken.

"Robert asks so many questions", said Ken.

"I know", I said. "Who bought your sunglasses --"

"Your mom?", Ken finished along with me. Then we both laughed.

"Who bought your shoes? Your mom?", Ken asked mocking Robert. "He's so dumb."

"Yeah", I said.

"He doesn't know what he's doing."

I was done purging and Jolene was changed, so we were ready to head home. I had a special surprise today: both Ken and I were dropped off at Ken's house, where Stan had finally come back and was waiting there for us.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Sikena is new

At CIWP today, we had Ken, Jolene, me, Lisa and Mike Williams . . . but we also had a new girl named Sikena.

"S-I-K-E-N-A", said Mike.

Sikena said she was 21 years old. And she already had two children. One was 3 years and the other was 5 months.

Jolene's annual meeting was today, so La Netta suggested I sit in the office and lie on the couch while Jolene has her meeting.

Rosa, on the other hand, was going to Target.

I needed to buy juices. But Stan had still not come home to give me my money. "I want to go to Target", I said.

"But you don't have any money", said La Netta.

Finally, Rosa said that she would lend me $5. I had money to spend at last!

"On the next CIWP", said Mike as we drove to Target.

When we got into Target, I held onto the cart as Rosa pushed. We got to the juice section, where I picked out two Market Pantry apple juices.

"You're going over $5", said Rosa. The juice bottles cost $3.14 each.

"I have some coins in my pocket", I said.

Rosa looked at some more stuff, then I bought my juices. We all crossed the street and made it back to the van.

"Don't go away", said Mike as we drove, "More CIWP is coming up."

"If You Think You're Lonely Now" came on the radio.

"If You Think You're Lonely Now", said Mike. "Bobby Womack. 1985. Relent Records."

We arrived back at the office. I heard Jolene's walker clanking, a sign that Jolene was coming out with La Netta. We were all ready to get lunch.

We stopped at the mission, then drove to a fast food restaurant.

"I'll have a Diet Pepsi", said Lisa.

"A Pepsi", ordered Rosa.

"We don't have Pepsi", said the employee.

"Then I'll get a shxke, how about a shxke?", asked Lisa.

"They cost $2," said Rosa.

"Do they have iced tea?"

"I'll get a sweet tea."

"We don't have any", said the employee. "We have Coke, and Sprite."

"Then I'll get the shxke", said Lisa.

"And a shxke", said Rosa.

"What kind?", asked the employee.

"Vanilla", said Lisa.

"Do you have vanilla?", asked Rosa.

"I'm sorry", said the employee.

"Vanilla", said Rosa.

The employee gave her her total price and Lisa passed up her money.

We made it to Davis Park. As I walked out of the van, La Netta told Jolene, "Your pants are drxpping. You're going to need to change yourself".

"Ewww!", I said.

"Sorry", said La Netta.

I went in the restroom and purged off all the milkshxke references. Then I purged off La Netta's "drxpping".

I eventually came out. Jolene's pants were still wet. "I'm cold", said Jolene.

"You either have to change yourself again, or you have to let your pants dry", said La Netta.

"I don't want to change myself."

"Then sit here until your pants are dry."

Jolene sat there and finally she was ready to go.

We dropped Lisa off at Kaiser, then dropped off Mike in Hercules.

"Thank you all for watching", said Mike, "Tune in next time at CIWP."

"You're welcome", I told him.

Third, we dropped off Sikena. "Maybe seeing your children there to greet you will become a sign that you're home every day", said La Netta.

We dropped Sikena off. She had barely spoken a word at program today. I didn't really get to know her. Will Sikena be a permanent member of our group? Time will tell.

Monday, August 4, 2008

A new addition to my room

As I was throwing away a chimichanga wrapper on Tuesday, I noticed a picture in the wastebasket. It was a painting of a bathroom scene -- the very picture that used to be up on the wall of the bathroom in my group home.

On Wednesday, I was in the van with Stan, so I asked him, "Why is there a picture in the garbage?"

Stan told me that it fell down from the wall, and as it fell its frame broke.

"Do you like that picture?", I asked Stan.

"I love that picture", said Stan. "But like the Italian saying goes, 'What can you do?' You ever heard that saying? 'What can you do'?"

"Why didn't you just get a new frame for it?"

"I wasn't even thinking like that."

Stan said he loved that picture. He had a feeling of love for it. And now he was about to throw it away forever. None of us would ever see Stan's beloved picture again. Even I got some comfort from looking at it in the bathroom.

On Thursday morning, I asked Stan whether, in exchange for taking my shower, I could have the picture, take it out of its frame and tape it up on my wall.

"Sure, let me see if I can find it," said Stan. "Like I said, I threw it away."

Friday morning came. I wanted to ask Stan whether he had found it, not to mention asking him for $20 from the safe, but Stan was nowhere to be seen. We had a staff there that morning.

Saturday came, and we had some of Stan's staff working, but no Stan himself. I left a message on Stan's answering machine, asking him whether he had found the picture.

Sunday came and still no sign of Stan. I asked our new staef Rhoda for the portable, so I could call Stan. I left a message on his answering machine.

Later on that day, I left another message and pressed 2 to deliver it with urgent delivery.

As midnight came, I talked to Rhoda, asking her when Stan would come in. She said she didn't know, and was waiting for him. "You get some rest now", she said.

I told her about the picture. She asked why it was urgent that Stan come soon. I explained that the garbage gets taken out on Monday.

1 a.m. came, and Rhoda was still there. It was obvious that Stan was not coming. I was going to have to pull the picture out of the garbage myself.

I grabbed two sandwich bags to cover my hands, then walked out the door.

Rhoda told me the lights were shot, and I should wait until the morning when I can see.

I went outside to test. Rhoda came out.

"I can see fine", I said.

"But it's very cold out here", said Rhoda.

I picked a bag out of the garbage. It was tied up.

"It might not be in that bag", she said. "And it's probably covered with food."

I continued opening it.

"Maybe Stan can get you another pict
ure," said Rhoda.

"I don't want another picture", I said.

"And you're going to have garbage all over the floor if you open it. Come in. It's cold out here."

"It's not cold", I retorted.

"Well, I'm cold."

I finally came in.

"Get some rest", she said.

But I couldn't rest.

"I'll be up all night, waiting for 6:00", I said.

The clock struck 2:00, and then 3:00, and I was still up worrying. Finally I decided to see if I could get some sleep. I decided that as soon as my alarm clock said 6:00, I would go out in the daylight to look for the pocture.

I fell asleep. When I woke up, I looked at the clock. 6:13. I picked up my two sandwich bags, then walked out into the family room where Rhoda was sleeping. I exited through the door and closed both doors.

There were five garbage bags in the garbage can. I knew that Stan had thrown the picture away on Tuesday, so I figured that it would be in one of the two bags at the bottom. I took the bags out of the garbage can, top to bottom, and laid them in a row, left to right.

I also saw some wood in the garbage can. I looked through the two bottom bags, rummaging around in a stirring motion in the fourth one, and then in the fifth. No picture in either. I even tried the third.

Then I decided I had better get a closer look at the stuff that wasn't in the bags. I saw a square of four pieces of wood, and leant over, my abdomen squeezing against the top edge of the garbage can. I turned them over. They weren't part of a picture frame. I saw something else rectangular. That wasn't a picture either. Then I saw it.

Stan's picture was OK! No food particles on it or anything. The bottom side of the frame was missing, but the other three sides were still there. I brought it in.

It was 10 minutes later, 6:23, when I came back in. "You've got your picture", said Rhoda.

"Yep", I said.

I brought it into my room. When I came home from program today it was still there on the floor.

Now we have to take its frame off and get it on my wall in some other way. The picture Stan rejected is going to be a joy-inspiring new addition to my room.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Caught him!

On Wednesday night, I took off my clothes and laid them in front of my bed before getting into the shower.

I turned the cold water on, then finally got into the shower. I spread soap all over my body, then washed it all off and got out. I tried myself, glad to be out of that shower again.

When I came back into my room, I noticed some coins by the pants I had taken off. I thought they had fallen out of the pocket. So I checked the right pocket and the sandwich bag was missing.

I walked out to where Tiffany was watching the tube in the family room. "Yes, James", said Tiffany.

"Tiffany!", I called out. "I've been robbed!"

I told Tiffany about this. She called Stan, then she called him again.

"I think I've figured out who stole it", said Tiffany.

A little while, someone knocked at my door. "Come in!", I said.

No one responded. Maybe it was Jason and he, being deaf, didn't hear.

I opened the door. Jason was standing there. He handed me the very bag that had disappeared. It had all the coins, and still had the five-dollar bill in it. My money was all right!

Tiffany could figure out it was Jason all along, and I'm glad she could.

You see, back in 2006, the first time Jason lived here, I lost $21 worth in dollar bills to a thief. I suspected it was Jason who was taking the money, but we never figured it out for sure. Until now.

Jason has stolen my cranberry juice. He ate my Reese's eggs. He stole the wallet Aaron gave to me. And he even tried to take my little red radio before, but I caught him red-handed. When that money was disappearing, I just knew it was Jason. I just knew it.

Why does he hate me so much that he steals from me? Could it have something to do with those days when he played his rap that could be heard through my room, and I closed his door, and he started standing in front of his door to keep me from closing it, wanting the rap to be audible to me because the door wasn't closed to block it?

Jason is going to have to pay me back for all that money he stole. And it better be soon. I want $21 plus some coins for who-knows-how-many coins that thief grabbed from me. Please do something about this thief.