Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Ice xxxxx in the plural? Blechhh!

"CIWP is sponsored in part by . . . Wendy's", said Mike Williams. "Better than fast food . . . it's Wendy's."

We pulled up at Jolene's house and let my friend in. Jolene wanted to sit at the end of the back row, but Mike got out so Jolene could sit in the middle seat of the back row.

When Jolene finally got in, Mike said, "Scxxt further, sir".

"Rrrrrrr!", I said.

We cruised down the freeway towards Lisa's house to get our last pick-up. I cupped my left hand over my eyes along the way.

Once we were back, we were at the office dropping off Lisa. I told La Netta I'd be using the restroom. "Be sure to tell Mike about that word", I said.

"I'll tell him again", said La Netta.

After waiting for Mike to come out, I entered the restroom and locked the door. I chanted "scadoloot forward" as I purged. Lisa stayed behind at the office to work.

We got back in the van minus Lisa and headed to the Dollar Tree to pick up some things for Lita. "Shame on you," said Mike. "My sister is a sniveling, bratty she-devil."

Rosa was accompanied by Ken and Mike into the Dollar Tree. La Netta stayed in the van with Jolene and me. I rested, still feeling sleepy from this morning.

Rosa and her fellows came back, but before we left, La Netta saw Uncle Bubble walk up to her van. He was accompanied by her relative Shawntay (not the same Shawntay who is a client at CIWP).

La Netta talked with Bubble for a while, then she asked Shawntay what she did.

"I ate ice xxxxx, popcorn . . . "

"Blechhh!", I said.

"He doesn't like that word," said La Netta.

La Netta knew she had to drive me somewhere fast. So she drove over to the dog park at Point Isabel where Ken and I got out and used the restroom.

I purged off "ice xxxxx" relatively quickly. Then I urinated in the urinal and washed my hands (they had soap -- yay!)

I was back in the van. The song "Fantasy" was playing on the radio.

"Fantasy", said Mike, "Earth, Wind & Fire. Columbia. 1977."

Rosa and I both got some KFC. I ordered an original leg and two original thighs. Then we hit the freeway to pick up Lisa at the office.

Lisa asked ie we could stop for a soda. At first La Netta said there would be nowhere to get one, but then she found a diner along the way.

Lisa came back and said, "I've got a big milkshxke. Could you hold my milkshxke for me?"

She didn't have a soda.

"I was planning to get a soda, but all they had was Coke, so I decided to get a shxke instead", she said. How nasty!

We ate our lunch at Miller's Knots. Well, everyone except me. I visited the restroom and used the toilet a bit. After everyone was done with their food and the restroom, we headed to Mike's house to drop him off.

Rosa told anecdote after anecdote about her family members. Did I hear her say "ice xxxxx"? I was going to ask La Netta. Then I heard her say . . .

"He had some money and had gone and bought some ice xxxxxs with it . . ."

"Blechhh!", I said.


"La Netta, is this the first time today Rosa's said the I-word?"


I purged off the I-word in the backseat. But Rosa kept talking, and I had to listen out for "ice"s or "cream"s.

I felt as if I was crushing my chicken. So I gave my KFC to La Netta and said, "Here, hold this with you."

She took it and I continued purging.

"Close your eyes, James", said La Netta.

I covered my eyes quickly. She said we were "driving by the I-word".

"You can open your eyes now", said La Netta.

At last we got Mike home. I was still purging.

Then we dropped Ken off. I continued to purge.

We stopped at my house, and no one was there. Finally the conversation between Rosa and La Netta ended.

"Silence, golden silence", I said.

I tried to finish my purging off of "ice xxxxxs", but I couldn't quite make the finishing flourish.

Stan came, and I said good-bye to Jolene while La Netta handed me my KFC. "Rod-rod, you want to drive with me?", Stan asked Rodney.

Then Stan asked me if I could ride with him to pick up Aaron.

"I've got to finish purging, Stan."

"Well, this house is locked", said Stan.

"I can't hold it in! Someone said the I-word!"

"Just hold it for five minutes."

"That's how long it's going to take?"


We drove to ABC, and picked up Aaron. When I got back I spent a lot of time in the restroom. It all came pouring out.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Shower-hating redux

Today it was just Brenda with Ken, Edward and me. We took a trip to Burger King to use the restroom, then headed into the Dollar Tree in El Cerrito.

"Brenda", I said, "We don't have La Netta with us, so you're going to have to be extra astute about listening out for words."

"I will", said Brenda.

We looked around at the juices, but I didn't need to buy anything, so Brenda went to the frozen food section.

"Did you know they have meats here?", she said. "They have beef pot pies!"

She continued to read the things they had. "Ice xxxxx, and Popsicles . . ."

"Blechhh!", I said.

"Sorry", said Brenda. "I didn't think you'd hear. I haven't been with you in a while. They keep putting me in a different group, and then I forget."

"Is there a restroom here?"

"No, we've got to take you somewhere where there is."

Neither Edward nor Ken wanted to buy anything here, so Brenda just left with us all. She drove me to Walgreen's.

I had spelled out C-R-E-A-M, then I-C-E-C-R. . . in my head a few times, so I had to think "meh ay ee rah eess, meh ay ee rah eess ee eess i, mearc, mearc cie, mearc, mearc cie, mearc cie, mearc cie, eesigh, mearc cie" to myself and then purge off the spelling and the words several times before I got to it. The "adolice cradoleam" at the end was actually quick. I took the opportunity to urinate and wash my hands.

When I was out, Brenda had to go to the restroom. She took me outside of the restroom hall and said, "Just wait there". When I was out there, I heard something that sounded like a girl saying, "Whxxpsie". Brenda wasn't there to ask!

I purged off "whxxpsie" in the van as we drove to our next site, Home Depot.

"I don't want to go in Home Depot", said Brenda. "Does anyone here actually want to go in?"

I made the mistake of saying yes.

While we were in there, I heard someone saying what may have been "Whxxps".

"Did you hear the WH-word?", I asked Brenda.

"No, I didn't, James", said Brenda.

"Then what did you hear them say?"

"I didn't hear anything."

"If you didn't hear, then how do you know they didn't say the WH-word?"

"You asked me if I heard them say it. I don't really know."

"What song is playing now?", I tested Brenda. A song was playing on the Intercom.

"I don't know. I hear a song playing, but I can't make out the words."

"That's 'Hey There Delilah' by the Plain White Tees", I told her.

We got out and tried three different Chinese restaurants before settling on one. I got chow mein, curry chicken, and kung pao chicken. While we were driving to these different restaurants, I purged off "whxxps" in the backseat.

Brenda dropped Edward off in Oakland, and while she was driving to his house, she talked about cars with him. Brenda referred to "a little bxtty engine".

"Rrrrrr!", I growled.

"What's wrong, James?"

"You said the B-word."

"A little engine."

Finally, she dropped me off at John's office. When I first came in, John had to go off to do something. At 2:37 he came back in and started our meeting.

I told him about hearing the B-word in the van, and asked to use his restroom. He let me go, and I purged in the restroom.

When I came back out, I lay down on his couch, my head next to my Chinese food. He noticed I was lying down and asked whether I was sleepy. I said yes.

While my head was lying on the couch, I thought about what would happen if someone with headlice rested his head on the couch and the lice spread to other clients, and John wouldn't let his clients rest their heads on the couch anymore. Would the lice die on the couch without a human head, or would they spread? I wasn't sure.

I started laughing. John asked me what was so funny.

I told him about the louse epidemics at my brother's and sister's schools. I never got lice, but they did. One time Lamesha thought she found lice in my hair, but Pia checked and it was just dandruff.

The topic turned to doing my hair. John asked when was the last time I washed it, and I said if I had to estimate a date it would be June 1.

He brought up how Lamesha hugged me after showers. Maybe, he suggested, I could hug someone after my hair was done?

John asked why I didn't like showers. I reminded him of the blog entry on the subject. John said he had read it long ago, but didn't recall what was there. I showed him the blog entry, I Hate to Sing in the Shower:


John read it on his laptop. His memory was refreshed. He asked whether I liked bathing, and I said I didn't bathe either.

"You know how when you're a child, you hate taking baths, and then when you become a teen-ager you're supposed to change?", I asked.

"Yes," said John.

"I never made the transition."

He asked me why, and I didn't know.

The clock hit 3:15 and Charles (not Aaron today) was here, so we said our good-byes in our usual way.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Jolene at her hungriest

With Clarissa and Rosa driving our group around on Thursday, we went to our scheduled stop of Wal-mart. Rosa looked a bit in the clothes section, but didn't find anything she thought would suit the child for whom she was buying. With nothing in hand, we walked over to the juice section.

I found a new Hawaiian punch flavor, Berry Limeade Blast, and put it into the cart along with some apple juice cocktail.

"We still have time left", said Clarissa. "Is there anywhere you want to go?"

"I want to look at taffy", I said.

So she and I headed towards the candy aisle together. While we were walking we walked by a man whom I heard saying "Pokémon". Or did he say "pxke around"?

"Sir?", I called out.

He didn't reply.

"They're holding a meeting", said Clarissa.

Great. So I couldn't ask him. I would have to purge -- a purge that I may have been able to avoid.

We finally reached the candy section. Clarissa looked all over the shelves, but she found no taffy. We got in line to pay for our selections.

While I was standing in line, I thought I heard a "whxxps". "Did I hear the WH-word?", I asked Clarissa.

"Where did you hear it?", she asked.

"From the person behind me."

"There's no one standing behind you. Look behind you."

So I looked and there was no one there. But I couldn't have imagined the word. It sounded so much like "whxxps" in a whispered tone.

I finally paid for my juice then we headed over to GNC. I bought a Detour power bar there that was on sale for only $1.something.

We still had lots of time left, so Clarissa asked if there was anywhere I'd like to go. I said we could go to Rasputin or Barnes and Noble and look at music.

"The Barnes and Noble around here doesn't have a music section. Do you want to look at music at Target?"

I said yes. We headed in and looked for taffy.

"Reese's are my favorite", said Jolene. No taffy except for Laffy Taffy. Pass.

We headed to music. I saw Maroon 5, and Bob Dylan, and the Jonas Brothers, and Death Cab for Cutxe. I saw the word "cutxe" twice. Once on the album cover, and once on the tab in front of the CD's to identify the artist.

"I'm hungry!", yelled Jolene. "I'm hungry! I didn't have dinner last night!"

"OK, Jolene, we're leaving," said Clarissa.

"I'm hungry!", Jolene continued to yell.

Clarissa wheeled Jolene right out of the store.

She still complained about being hungry.

"We'll be back in the van, and I'll let you eat your lunch", said Clarissa.

Finally, we were out of Target. Jolene ate her lunch before getting to the lunch site.

"I'm hungry!", she was still yelling.

We stopped at In-N-out Burger, where I got two hamburgers with onions only. We also drove by Taco Bell, where Rosa got some stuff for herself and ordered a burrito for Jolene. I purged off the WH-word in the backseat.

"James, put your In-N-out Burger next to you", said Clarissa. She was clearly afraid that Jolene was going to steal it.

I finished off purging the WH-word off, and we got out at Fernandez Park. In the restroom I purged off the two "cutxe"s, and also purged off "pxke around", even though it may not have been said.

Jolene ate her burrito, and she was STILL yelling, "I'm hungry"!

I told Clarissa I wanted to buy her a taco. Clarissa said, "Ask Rosa, she's driving."

"I'm hungry!", said Jolene. "I didn't have dinner last night!"

"Don't worry", said Clarissa as she led her to the restroom to change herself. "Your friend James is going to buy you a taco."

I got in the van and asked Rosa whether we could drive to Taco Bell so I could buy Jolene a taco.

"We already went to Taco Bell", said Rosa.

I heard screams of hunger. Eventually I could hear Jolene's walker ambling towards us.

"I'm hungry", you-know-who called out.

"Did you ask Rosa?", asked Clarissa as Jolene pushed herself up into the van.

"She said we already went to Taco Bell, and she doesn't want to have to drive there again", I replied.

"Do you want to go there?", Rosa asked Clarissa.

"If it's OK with you", said Clarissa.

"Do you want to go there?"

"I'll drive. We're still early." So Clarissa got into the driver's seat.

"If you yell and whine, Jolene, we're doing to drive right past Taco Bell", said Rosa.

We made it to the Taco Bell drive-through, where I decided to get her a taco.

Rosa ordered a soft-shell taco, which came out to 89 cents. I passed up a dollar bill, and Clarissa soon passed me back a bag.

I gave it to Jolene. "I'm hungry!", she cried. "Didn't have dinner last night!"

So Jolene ate the taco.

And from that point on, I didn't hear her complain about being hungry.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Wet paint

Unlike yesterday, Clarissa and La Netta stayed together today.

At first we headed out for the mission. Lisa got out, then she learned they didn't have anything. I had started to get out so I could be with La Netta, then got back in when La Netta told me they didn't have anything.

Clarissa started to drive off, then all of a sudden we saw food being delivered to the mission. "Wait", said Lisa.

"That's all right", said one of the coaches. "We're going to the mission for you. That's why we put it on the schedule."

So Lisa got out, then as she entered the mission La Netta asked someone, "Do you have to sign up for this?"

"Yes", the person told her.

She wanted to tell Lisa, but Lisa had already worked her way into the line.

"She'll find out", said La Netta.

To La Netta's surprise, Lisa came out with a bag full of corn, onions and other vegetables. She said she'd cook them this week. As for the milk she wanted, she could buy that somewhere else.

We were supposed to go to Vincent Park and have lunch at another park, but we decided to get lunch early instead.

Ken and Jolene stopped for lunch at McDonald's, as did Clarissa, then I went into Taco Bell. While I was standing in there, I saw someone with a tattoo of a rose on her leg.

Vincent Park turned out to be our lunch site today. I walked into the restroom as La Netta changed Jolene. While I was in the stall, I noticed something white on my burgundy turtleneck. I had gotten white paint from the stall door onto my sleeve.

I turned to the sink to try to wash it off. While I was washing it off, I heard La Netta say in the women's restroom, "You've got your towel drxpping . . ."

"Ewwwwww!", O said.

"Sorry!", said La Netta.

When I got done purging, I came out. La Netta asked where that white came from. I told her about the door in the stall.

We headed for Berkeley in the van so we could take Lisa home, quite early.

"Did you get the Big Mac?", La Netta asked Clarissa.

"I got the Big, and Txsty", said Clarissa.

"Blechhh!", I said. "Are we on University yet?", I asked.

"Not yet", said La Netta.

"Tell me when I have to cover my eyes."

I purged off "txsty": "tadolasty, tadolasty, tadolasty, tadolasty, tadolasty, tadolasty, tadolasty".

"OK, James, we're on University", said La Netta.

I covered my eyes so I would miss Frosty Freeze.

Minutes later, I asked, "Are we still on University?"

"Yes, but you can look now", said La Netta.

I removed my hand from my eyes and resumed my purging.

"Tadolasty, tadolasty, tadolasty, tadolasty. Tadolasty, tadolasty, tadolasty, tadolasty", I chanted.

I zipped my pants up as we let Lisa out at her spot. We all said our good-byes to Lisa, then we hit the road again.

"James, close your eyes", said Clarissa.

So I closed my eyes as tightly as I could and covered them with the left sleeve of my turtleneck.

"You can open them now."

I finished purging off the word "txsty". Then we were back at the office, having split our groups.

La Netta took Jolene and me, and drove us to Firestone. While there, we met a 79-year-old man who had survived four strokes and three heart attacks.

"I found this roadkill, and then I wee-weed on it, and not even the buzzards would eat it", he said, telling his story.

We drove up to the junction down the street from my house, and waited there for a while, until about 2:15 when La Netta drove me up to Stan's.

Stan finally came. I said good-bye to my friends Jolene and La Netta. As soon as I got home, I changed my turtleneck to one without paint on it.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The day we actually did go to Trader Joe's

After picking up Lisa today, La Netta was going to be moved to Wanda's van, so I had a choice of either going with La Netta and Wanda, or staying with Clarissa. I knew that there was going to be KBLX and telling people to scxxt over if I went with Wanda, so I chose to stay in Clarissa's van.

Clarissa took Mike, Lisa and me, and Lisa was left behind at the office while we went to our first program site -- See's. I ordered five chocolates and was given some chocolate-covered raisins.

I wanted to put them back in the van after we finished, but Clarissa said they would melt in the van. It wasn't even a particularly hot day. So she carried them in her purse into Trader Joe's, the next program site.

I wanted a lasagna, so we headed to the frozen food section. I didn't find a lasagna that was big enough there, but I did find an eggplant parmesan. I placed my eggplant parmesan into the basket and Clarissa took me to the section where they had sushi and other fresh foods.

While I looked at one section I saw some items that had plastic froks and other plastic silverware in them. Gross! And I didn't find a lasagna. She said I could go to Lucky's to look for lasagna.

"Scxxt straight", she said.

"Rrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"You said the SC-word. Blank, straight."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that word. Would you like to go to the restroom?"

"Yes, I would."

So Clarissa took me into the restroom by the arm. At first both restrooms were fun, but then they both let open. I entered the one on the right and locked the door.

"Scadoloot straight, scaeoloot straight, scadoloot straight", I chanted. I finally got done with the "scxxt", and then I had to do some "fadorork, fadorork, fadorork, fadorork".

I finished, and when I came out Clarissa asked me whether I still wanted to pay for my eggplant parmesan. I replied in the affirmative, and so we continued on our way to the check-out.

While I was there, I thought I heard a man say "Whxxps, sorry".

"Did he say the WH-word?," I asked Clarissa.

"Did he?," Clarissa asked.

'The man who said, 'Sorry'."

"That's a woman, not a man."

"Oh. Did she say the WH-word?"


"Then what did she say?"

"What did she say?"

"When she said, 'Sorry'."

"I didn't hear."

"I heard a man saying the WH-word, 'sorry'."

"I didn't hear. I'm sorry."

Now I would have to purge off the WH-word. I slammed my forehead as we exited Trader Joe's.

"Clarissa, I'm going to need you to listen out for those words", I said.

"I don't listen to other people's conversation. That's just not me."

We decided to go to Lucky's to get my lasagna. We agreed that I would purge in the Lucky's restroom.

I entered the Lucky's restroom, but it took a long while to think "spoowh" backwards to myself with exactly the same tone and flavor with which it had been said.

The song "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M. came on the music-playing Intercom while I was in the restroom. I had to cover my ears and hum something to myself every time they got to the "Trying to keep" part, so I didn't hear them say "keep an exe on".

Finally I got done with the "whxxps". I was ready to go out and find that lasagna.

We found a Stouffer's that I was willing to buy. When I came to the desk, it was just one cent short of $10.

I heard what sounded like "txsty" in a Lucky's ad. I hurriedly put my coin and receipt in my sandwich bag, then was on my way with that lasagna.

We drove to Vincent Park for lunch, with me purging off "txsty" in the back. We had lunch without incident.

Clarissa told to when to close my eyes as we drove to Lisa's house and back, as both times we would pass Frosty Freeze on University. I closed my eyes and covered them with my hand and the sleeve of my turtleneck all the time we drove home from Mike's house, as we were going through Pinole. Then I opened my eyes when we got home and Stan was there for me.

Monday, July 21, 2008

A crazy, nutty, mixed-up day

Today we drove to Lisa's house but Lisa wasn't coming. Darnell said we should be picking up Mike Williams, but La Netta said Mike wasn't on the schedule. Then we got a call to pick up Mike.

We picked him up from the office. "Good morning, La Netta", said Mike.

We drove to the Dollar Tree. "On the next CIWP," said Mike.

Then we got there. La Netta just looked around. She showed me some juices, but I wasn't interested in them until I got to another juice section that included some grape juice. I picked a grape juice up. La Netta often told me to close my eyes while I was in there.

"Froks and knives", said an employee. "We have a big collection of froks and knives". I kept my eyes closed for dear life.

La Netta took me to the frozen food aisle, suggesting I might find a chimichanga or something like that that I would enjoy. Then she said, "Oh don't look, James, I see something". It was probably ice xxxxx.

I bought my stuff, then we headed to Happy Garden for lunch.

"CIWP is sponsored by . . . Kentucky Fried Chicken. Life tastes better with KFC. And by McDonald's", said Mike.

At Happy Garden, they had a lunch special of rice with your choice for $4.25-$4.75. I chose prawns with broccoli. I also asked if I could substitute chow mein for rice, and they said yes. Delicioso!

While I was waiting, I saw what looked like an ice xxxxx cone with feet. Did they have the Frosty Freeze logo in the Chinese restaurant? I looked closer at the bottom and it said, "Eat-it-all". So I looked at the pictures and they were of joyful-eyed children licking their lips and holding oversized ice xxxxx cones in front of them.

I got my order and felt around for the plastic silverware. La Netta put the frok in her purse, and we were on our way out.

La Netta asked, "Are you ready for your pill?"

"No", I said.

"Fadorork, fadorork, fadorork", I chanted in the back. Then I did some purging for those pictures of ice xxxxx cones I saw in Happy Garden.

Darnell decided to order pizza. "I l-l-love pizza", said Jolene.

"You do?"

"Pizza's my favorite. Pizza's my favorite."

When La Netta got back in I told her about Jolene.

"Pizza's my favorite. My favorite", Jolene said again.

La Netta told me that Darnell would switch positions with Wanda at Fernandez Park after we had dropped Mike off.

We went to the office where Darnell ate his pizza and everyone except me had lunch. I just slept on the couch.

So we dropped Mike off in Hercules. "Thank you for tuning in to CIWP", he said.

"You're welcome", I told him. Darnell and La Netta gave him their good-byes.

We stopped at Fernandez Park, where La Netta said we were supposed to go. While we were there, Darnell rested with his head out of the window. His cellphone's ringtone came on and he didn't hear it.

Darnell then woke up, seemingly unaware that his cellphone had gone off. La Netta stayed there a little while later, then received a call on her own cellphone.

She was supposed to meet Wanda at Refugio Park!

"She told me it was Fernandez", said La Netta.

So we drove over to Refugio Park, where Darnell said good-bye and was replaced by Wanda. We drove me to John's office at 2:32.

I came out with my Chinese food and my grape juice, where John was ready to let me in.

We talked about meeting Oliver Sacks. John said that I had mentioned that earlier, and I said I recalled bringing up Oliver Sacks when I first met him. John said he must get an awful lot of mail.

I brought up the way Dr. Gorodetsky said he had met other people who tasted words. Even though I wrote about him in my blog, John didn't know who Dr. Gorodetsky was. I explained to him that he was a doctor at the Richmond Medical Health Center.

"Are there any words that have tastes that you do like?", asked John.

"Well . . . my favorite taste is the word 'franchise', which tastes like fried chicken", I said.

"Interesting! Are there any more?"

"The word 'sum', S-U-M, tastes like yogurt."

"Do you taste any particular flavor of yogurt?"

"It's an orangey or lemony flavor. And 'splatter' tastes like lasagna."

"Mmm. I imagine you hear those words -- franchise, sum, splatter, less than the other words."

"I do."

We went into the tastes of words of make me purge but have flavors I enjoy, such as "wxry", which tastes of rotisserie chicken, then into other non-trigger words that have tastes. I told him that the name Tiffany tasted of lemon meringue pie.

"Is this a sensation you get when you're talking about this particular Tiffany, or have you always had that association?", he asked.

"I've always had that association", I said.

He said maybe I could make some of the trigger words into positive tastes.

He checked for Aaron, then checked again, and Aaron was finally here, so he said, "It's been nice seeing you, James" and I said, "It's been nice seeing you, John", and went out to meet Aaron.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

The day we missed Trader Joe's

On Friday Mike Williams was with us once again. "Good morning, La Netta", said Mike. "Good morning, James", he said to me.

"On the next CIWP", said Mike, as if this were a TV show.

We drove to pick up Lisa, but we got a call saying no Lisa today, so we headed back to where we were coming from. On our way to Lisa's house Mike said, "A Dreyer's ice xxxxx truck."

"Blechhh!", I said.

"And another Dreyer's ice xxxxx truck."


"Mike?", said La Netta.

"And another Dreyer's ice xxxxx truck," said Mike.

"Blecchhh!", I said.

"Mike, Mike . . .", said La Netta. "James doesn't like the I-word. Do you remember how I told you about that?"

"No," said Mike.

"You probably forgot."

I kept it in so I could cover my eyes, until La Netta told me we had passed Frosty Freeze and were not going to see it anymore today. I purged in the backseat.

We stopped at a gas station and the van door was opened. I rushed out to use the restroom, but it was locked as usual. La Netta told me that the person whose job is to open it for people was taking a break.

Oh great, I thought, how am I going to hold it in?

A little later, someone stepped out of the restroom and held the door open. I picked up the door and walked in, then locked it.

After locking the door, I completed my purging ritual for all three "ice xxxxx"s. Then I walked out and held the door open for Mike.

Our next stop was Didi's. We were going to all go to this clothing store together so Brenda could meet us and pick up Mike from there.

I walked around with La Netta for what must have been an hour, just holding on to La Netta's arm.

While we were there, Jolene suddenly got up in her wheelchair and started to drive it. She headed straight out of the store.

"Jolene!", called Clarissa.

Clarissa managed to stop Jolene. The store managers thought Jolene was trying to drive off with a stolen item.

Clarissa pushed Jolene forward, following me.

"Jolene, James is right in front of you", said Clarissa. "James is your friend. Tell him what's bothering you."

Jolene was silent.

"Jolene, don't you want to speak to James?"

"This is James", I said. "Remember me, Jolene? I'm the one who gives you those tacos . . ."

Jolene was still silent.

La Netta told me we would go to Trader Joe's as soon as Mike was picked up.

Finally Mike was picked up, and as we were overstaffed, Clarissa went back to the office.

"Paalam", I said to Clarissa.

"Paalam", she replied.

"I don't want it! I don't want it!", Jolene was crying all the way out.

La Netta kept trying to calm Jolene's nerves, but to no avail.

"I don't want it! I don't want it!"

"James," La Netta told me, "We won't be able to go to Trader Joe's with Jolene acting the way she is."

"But you told me I'd buy my lunch at Trader Joe's!"

"Well, with the acting up, and the wheelchair problem . . ."

So we weren't going to go to that place I had endured Didi's for: Trader Joe's.

"I don't want it! I don't want it!", Jolene continued to exclaim.

"You don't want what?", La Netta asked her.

"I don't want Kalash!"

"You don't want your last name?"

"I don't want it!"

"That's OK, you can get married and change your last name. Do you want to change it to Green? What's Hank's last name, Green?"

"Goldberg", I said.

"You want to be Jolene Goldberg?"

"I don't want it!", yelled Jolene.

"You don't have to keep your last name", said La Netta. "You can change your name any time you want."

"La Netta", I said, "I put up with Didi's all that time because I thought we were going to be able to go to Trader Joe's afterwards."

"Well, without Clarissa, there's no one to push Jolene's wheelchair."

"I'll push her, La Netta," I offered.

"Well, there's still the way she's acting like this. We can't have Jolene in the store when she's going to be acting that way."

A little while later, La Netta asked me, "What's wrong with your friend, James?"

"I wish I knew, La Netta, I wish I knew."


"I wish I knew, La Netta, I wish I knew."

We got a burrito at the burrito truck instead of buying lunch at Trader Joe's. I wanted to have something other than head once in a while, so I ordered chicken. Our next stop: Davis Park.

We were going to go to Point Pinole, but La Netta changed the schedule to Davis Park when we skipped Trader Joe's. While we were at Davis Park, I heard those bells ringing. I knew what that meant: the ice xxxxx truck was here.

"It's the ice xxxxx truck!", someone shouted.

"Blechhh!", I said.

"Want some ice xxxxx?", I heard someone ask.

"Did he say the I-word?", I asked La Netta.

"Who", asked La Netta.

"The guy who said, 'Want some ---'?"

"Yes, he did."

I purged in the back. "Because of you, Jolene, we're going somewhere where there are bells", I said angrily.

"I don't want it! I don't want it!", shouted Jolene.

La Netta asked Jolene if she wanted to get out. Jolene said no, but La Netta said she would make Jolene get out if she continued to yell.

Jolene continued to yell, and La Netta opened the side door of the van.

"Can we have the door closed?", I asked.

"I need the door open so Jolene can get out. This yelling is hurting my ears", said La Netta.

So I made it to the restroom where I wouldn't be purging in public. I purged off a few "ice xxxxx"s, but there was one I wasn't finished with. It was that one where the guy said, "Want some ice xxxxx?". It had a melted, cold flavor to it.

While I was in there, I thought I heard someone outside say, "Whxxps". I buttoned up, and walked outside to where La Netta was standing.

"Did he say the WH-word?", I asked La Netta.

"Yes", said La Netta.

I went back in and slammed my forehead. "D'OH!"

I walked out of my stall with my pants unbuttoned and washed my hands with the park's cold water. If I poored it into my pants, I could get that cold, liquid feeling in my groin. The "ice xxxxx" would feel as if it were coming up.

I did some more thruosts with "adolice cradoleam", and then exited my stall to wash some more cold water onto my crotch. With that boost of cold water, I was able to perfectly re-create the taste and temperature of that guy's "Want some ice xxxxx?"

When I was done with that, I stayed in the same mood to get that whipped-creamy "whxxps" out of my system.

"James, are you ready to leave?", asked La Netta.

"Not quite", I replied.

I purged off the "whxxps" with a balloon-like surface to my wetted skin, then was ready for La Netta to drive me home.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

The other side of Mike

Today I entered the van at 8:45 to see Mike Williams sitting in there. "Good morning, James", he said in his voice that sounded like Big Gay Al.

"Good morning, Mike", I replied. I also said good morning to La Netta and Clarissa.

"My sister was very contentious", said Mike, "You're being rude and disrespectful."

"What does 'contentious' mean?", asked La Netta.

"That means it's a subject of eispute", I said. "It also means you get into fights a lot."

"Then I guess he's using the word the right way", said La Netta.

"Here's to my bratty, conniving, sniveling sister", said Mike.

La Netta laughed out loud at that one.

"My sister's a Casanova", said Mike.

"What's a Casanova?", asked La Netta.

"A Casanova is a really romantic guy", I said.

We picked up Lisa, then drove to the office. I was feeling really sleepy that day, so I stayed in the office and lay on the couch while La Netta watched Jolene shred papers.

La Netta accompanied Jolene to the women's room to watch her change diapers, then came out at noon. I followed her out.

Jolene was in the left seat of the back row, so I got in the middle seat. As Mike got in on the right seat, he said "Scxxt over some".

"Rrrrrrrrr!", I said.

I rushed back out to use the restroom. After purging off Mike's SC-word, I made it back into the van. Mike was now up front, and Ken and Lisa were not in the van. They were with Clarissa, splitting vans. That was when La Netta gave me my pill.

We went through the drive-through at Taco Bell, where I ordered a chicken chalupa, a crunch wrap supreme and a spicy chicken burrito. The order came out to over $6.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, here is Foster's Freeze. Ice xxxxx", said Mike.

"Blechhh!", I said. "Is it to the right?"

"Actually, this is the spot where a Frosty Freeze closed down", said La Netta.

"Oh, OK. I said. Did you notice that he said 'Foster's Freeze' instead of 'Frosty Freeze'?"

"I did notice."

We listened to Star 101.3 all the way to Davis Park. After we parked there, the radio station's DJ started talking about the American Idol auditions in San Francisco. Just before La Netta was going to turn it off, the woman on the radio said, "We'll keep an exe on that."

"Ewwwwwwwwwww!", I shrieked.

"Oh, oh", said La Netta. "James, we're at Davis Park where there's a restroom there."

So I went in Davis Park's restroom and purged off the word "ice xxxxx". Then I got to purging off "keep an exe on".

While I was purging off the K&E words, I heard a familiar voice talking outside the restroom. "Aaron?", I called.

"Hey, buddy!", said Aaron.

I purged some more, then a little later Aaron came in. My mouth was full of saliva.

"OK, spit first, then I want to talk to you."

Aaron walked out of the restroom, then I finished purging. I walked out and he was there. We began talking. He gave something to me.

It was a Lord of the Rings video game. "Give this to Bernard", said Aaron. "Tell him it's from a friend at my program."

Aaron goes to a program called ABC (or A Better Chance). It's similar to CIWP. The people there all have disabilities of some sort or another.

I put the Lord of the Rings game on the seat by my Taco Bell order in La Netta's van.

"James," said La Netta, "Why don't you get out and enjoy the air while you have a chance? Mike wants to listen to KBLX."

So I walked outside. "Just switch the station if they start doing traffic", I told her.

I talked to Aaron a bit more, then I got tired of being outside and walked back to the van. KBLX was still doing music.

A little while later they started talking on the radio. La Netta turned it off. "In a minute, I'm going to help Jolene change", she said.

"Could you change the station now so they won't be doing traffic when we turn it back on?"

"Now they're doing commercials, and I don't want you to hear that. I'll switch the station as soon as Jolene is done changing herself."

So I walked into the restroom with the radio off in the van and Jolene changed in the other restroom. Then her walker bumped back out, signalling that Jolene was done.

La Netta and I returned to the van. She turned the volume all the way down to inaudible, then she switched stations. When she turned it back up, it was at Star 101.

"Where are we?", I asked La Netta as we drove to Hercules.

"We're on San Pablo," she replied.

"Are we in San Pablo?"

"Yes. I'll tell you when we're getting close to Frosty Freeze."

La Netta drove all the way up to Mike's house.

"Thank you for tuning in to CIWP . . ." said Mike.

"You're welcome", I said.

La Netta said good-bye to Mike as he left for his house. Then we drove back.

"James, we're getting close to Frosty Freeze", said La Netta at one point in the trip.

I closed my eyes as tightly as I could and covered them with the palms of my hands.

"Now you can open your eyes", she said later.

We made it to my house, in one piece.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

No more calling Lamesha

Yesterday La Netta had no partner. The only people she picked up were Lisa, Mike Williams and me.

"Good morning, James", said Mike in his drawn-out voice. "How are you?"

"I'm worried and I don't know what to do", I said.

"Really? That's wo-o-o-onderful!"

"You think that's wonderful? Did you hear that, La Netta?"

"We will continue with CIWP after these brief messages", said Mike.

"What's up with Mike?", I asked La Netta. "Why does he talk like an announcer?"

"I haven't read up on Mike", said La Netta. "I'll have to get his file."

We drove up to Wendy's.

"CIWP is sponsored in part by Wendy's", said Mike.

After that, our next destination point was Lucky's, the low price leader. All three of us clients entered the store with La Netta to do some shopping.

La Netta looked at flavored water, while I told her I wanted some seafood salad. This would be like buying my lunch/dinner. So she took me to the deli section and La Netta said, "Here you are, James". I picked out my seafood salad.

While we were standing in line, two Indian men were talking in their accents. I heard one of them say, "Pardon?". I growled.

"Visit us at ciwp.org, or call us at (510) 528-2287", said Mike as we were back in the van. I tried to purge off the "Pardon?" in the back.

I stopped to cover my eyes, then when we made it to Refugio Park I uncovered them and resumed my act of purging. I had to purge some more when Lisa, talking about a woman who used to share her home when she lived in a group home, said, "She has an attitude about cleaning her mxss up".

"Ewwwwww!", I said.

"I'm sorry. She doesn't like cleaning up", said Lisa.

I purged off the M-word, then finished my "padolardon"s as we drove through Hercules to take Mike home.

"Don't go away, more CIWP is coming up, folks", said Mike.

We finally dropped Mike at home.

"We hope you enjoyed this trip", said Mike.

"Thank you, Mike", said La Netta.

"Adios", I said.

After dropping off Mike, we got me to John's office. When I got there I was visibly worried.

I told John the horrible news: they had recycled Lamesha's phone number!

"I know you were worried back when Lamesha didn't come over", said John. "But you said you know she still loves you."

"I know, she does love me."

"Maybe she's thinking of you right now", said John.

"Thinking of each other at the same time? Wouldn't that be beautiful", I said.

John said there have been times when Lamesha hasn't come over for long periods of time and I began to doubt I would ever see her again, then she came over one day. He says maybe this is just one of those lulls.

I told her about Tiffany seeing Lamesha at the mall.

At 3:15 John checked for Aaron. He wasn't there.

John checked again, and stayed outside looking for Aaron until 3:30. That was when he said, "It's been nice seeing you, James".

"It's been nice seeing you, John", I replied.

I really hope someone can contact Lamesha for me soon. Valerie, maybe, or Tiffany, or maybe La Netta can get in touch with her cousin Zicheas. It would feel so beautiful to have her in my arms (and me in her arms) again, her brown hand rubbing my back. I could tell her all the funny things Jolene's said, and also tell her that Aaron said hi. Just to talk with her, even if it's only over instant message, would be much better than anything I've experienced these past three months.

I miss you, Lamesha.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Spending 7-11

No, not the convenience store. The day.

I got up and went out to the bus. Rosa was driving alone, and she picked up Lisa and Jolene. Then she announced she had gotten a call from the office and our can would be getting into Donna's van to combine with Donna. Oh no, I thought, people are going to tell others to scxxt over.

Then Rosa announced that Donna and her clients would be cramming into our van, not the other way around.

We stayed at the CIWP office until Donna's van and people came over and they entered one by one. She had Gerardo and Ganesh with her. "Scxxt over, Lisa", Donna told Lisa.

"Rrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"You said that word", said Lisa.

We stopped at the mission. Rosa, Lisa and I all went in together. Did I hear someone in the mission say, "Whxxps, sorry about that"?

"Did he say the WH-word or the OO-word?", I asked Rosa.

"Who?", asked Rosa.

"The guy who said, 'Sorry about that'."

"He said the OO-word."

Finding nothing I liked, I walked back to the van with Lisa and Rosa.

While we were out there, I heard a woman talking to some children. Did she say "kitty"? It could have been "cutxe" or "Katie".

"Is that woman talking about her cat?", I asked Rosa.

"I don't know", Rosa replied.

"The woman who said 'kitty' . . . Did she say 'kitty'?'"

"I don't know what she said."

"Lisa, what did you hear her say?"

"I don't know", said Lisa, "I wasn't listening."

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Now I was really mad. I would have to purge off a "cutxe" that may not even have been said.

We drove around and while we were driving, Donna said it again: "Scxxt over".

"Rrrrrrrrrrrr!", growled you-know-who.

"You said the word", said Lisa.

"Well, I'm not thinking about that kind of stuff", said Donna.

"Get me to a restroom", I said to Rosa.

"No!", said Lisa. "Don't go to the restroom! You don't have to purge!"

Rosa got me to the Davis Park restroom. She said I had ten minutes there.

I purged off those "scxxt"s: scadoloot over, scadoloot over. I still wasn't done when Rosa called my name.

"I need to wash up!", I shouted back to her. That always buys me time.

I finished with both "scxxt over"s, but I didn't have time to do "cutxe".

When I got back, it was 10:58, just two minutes before pill time, and Rosa administered to me my pill.

"Those are yours?", asked Gerardo.

"Are you talking about my pill?", I asked.

Gerardo didn't answer.

"You mean this pill?"

"Gerardo, answer his question", said Donna.

"Did he say, 'Those are yours'?"

"Yes, he did."

"Was he talking about my pill?"

"Yes," said Gerardo.

"Yes, that's mine", I told him.

I didn't take the pill, as I still had the word "cutxe" to purge off.

We drove to our lunch sites.

I went in with Rosa to get Chinese food. "Don't put in a frok", said Rosa.

"Rosa", I said, "I want to take it out!"

So I walked up and paid for my chow mein, eggplant chicken and mixed vegetables with tofu. My pill came out of my pocket as I took my bag out, and I had to explain to Rosa that I wasn't ready to take it yet. I felt around for the frok with my eyes closed and then took it out.

I got back in the van before Donna said, "Scxxt over!"

"Rrrrrrrrrrr!", I growled again. "Now I'm going to have to use the restroom for even longer."

We continued to pick up lunch at various spots until we parked at the Berkeley Marina. "Is there a good restroom here?", I asked, not recognizing the place.

"Wait a minute!", Rosa said. She drove over to the four restrooms.

I entered the one on the very right. I started going "fadorork, fadorork, fadorork" as soon as I entered.

Then I took several minutes to get the right carroty flavor, before purging off that "scadoloot over".

Then I purged some "kyadolootiadole, adolye, adolee", getting the word "cutxe". I finished just in time before we left. I then swallowed my pill.

I heard Gerardo saying "Vood". Then he pointed to my Chinese food and said, "Food".

"That's my Chinese food", I told him.

"Gerardo, that's James' food. Leave it alone", said Donna.

We dropped Lisa off. As we drove, we talked about Barry and his questions. "We'll have to put up with that mxss", said Donna, then she said "Ooh", as if she realized she had said the M-word.

"Ewwwwwwww!", I said, sharply. "Were you talking about Barry?", I asked.

"Yes", said Donna.

We dropped Ganesh off at a special place where another coach could get him. Then we dropped Gerardo off.

Then, finally, it was my turn. While we were back in San Pablo, I purged off the M-word in the back seat to be ready to eat my Chinese food.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Gross food -- sauce and ice xxxxx

Rosa and Wanda picked me up today. Robert and Rodney were in the van with me, as was Ken, and we drove to Jolene's house to get her too. Then Wanda got a phone call from Tiffany, so she left us to join Tiffany in her van. Now it was just Rosa, Jolene, Ken and yours truly.

The first stop was the doughnut shop. Rosa went in, then came back with a doughnut and some egg rolls and sauce.

We were supposed to go to Lucky's where I could buy juices today, so Rosa agreed with Wanda that our two vans would drive together to Wal-mart, and I would get my juices there.

Rosa sat outside with her egg rolls. She said something that sounded like "sostra". Was it "Sauce drxp"?

"Ewwwww!", I exclaimed.


"The D-word."

"The D-word?"


A little later, I asked her whether she said the sauce did the D-word. She said yes.

When we finally entered Wal-mart, she asked me whether I wanted to go to the bathroom before getting the juice. I said yes. So I went in there and purged off the D-word. "Dradolip, dradolip, dradolip." Ninety "dradolip"s. Then a "dradolip" down there and a "dradolip" up here and I was ready. Rosa called. I told her all I had to do was wipe and wash. I defecated into the toilet, then wiped. I finally washed my hands and came out.

Now it was time to get my juices. I held on to the handle at the back of the shopping cart and made a ride to the juice section. I selected a green strawberry/kiwifruit Hawaiian punch. They didn't have any of those apple juices I like to buy, so I got a second Hawaiian punch this time (this one was the regular red flavor).

While I was in that section, I heard a little kid say, "I want to get some ice xxxxx".

"Blechhh!", I said. I told Rosa, "Now I need to go to the restroom again".

"You want to pay for your stuff first?", she asked.

"All right." So I went to the check-out and stood in line, before paying for my two juices. While I was there, I heard the cashier tell the previous customer, "Have a nice day".

Trying to hold it in, I paid for my four-dollars-odd purchase and then grabbed my bags. I thought I heard the WH-word.

"Did I hear the WH-word?", I asked Rosa.

"No, you didn't", she said. "They said, 'Oops'."

I followed Rosa to the restroom.

"Do you want to use the men's or the single bathroom?"

"Either will do", I said.

So she took me right up to the single restroom. "Hurry please", she said.

"Rrrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

No response. I growled again. For effect.

"Why are you growling?", asked Rosa.

"Because you said 'please'."

Now I was determined not to hurry. I did all the rubble-clearing, which took about a minote, then I got to the main entrée: ice xxxxx! I purged to the left, and I purged to the right. I tried to get that ice xxxxx out of me.

Rosa called. "We're leaving!"

"But I'm not done purging!", I answered.

I purged some more.

"Are you ready?"


So I did some more thrusts. "Adolice cradoleam, adolice cradoleam".

"We're leaving now. It's time to go!", said Rosa.

"No, it's not!"

Then I finally got the "adolice cradoleam" just right. I purged it out.

I followed Rosa to the van with my bags in my arms. We took a drive out to Point Pinole, then visited a park in El Sobrante.

While I was there I heard Mike Williams say "Snodgrass". He was clearly talking about Shawn Snodgrass. Then -- did I hear him say "mxss" or "nest"? He said it three or four times.

I walked to to Mike. "Hello, James", said Mike in his drawn-out voice. "How are you?"

"I'm not doing well. I had to purge a lot today", I said. "Hey, Mike, did you say you found a bird's nest?"

"Yes", said Mike. "I did." He seemed so happy about finding the nest, as if it were one of the little joys of nature.

"Is it in that tree?"

I looked at the tree above me. I didn't find it.

Rosa asked Mike where the nest was. He didn't say.

I went back to the van. Then Rosa took me to Taco Bell so I could buy lunch. She drove back to the park in El Sobrante (Ken's home town), then drove to Ken's house and dropped him off. Then she got to my house and told me Stan was home when I didn't get out.

I thought I would have to wait for Stan, but Rosa said he was already here. So I grabbed one juice bag and my Taco Bell and I gave the other juice bag to Rosa. She rang the doorbell, then she knocked, but no Stan was here. So I was right!

We waited another fifteen or so minutes, until Rosa heard Stan driving up. We gathered the juices and Mexican food and made it into the house.

I'm hearing the I-word too much in stores and other public places. I hear it from strangers even when people in our group know not to say it. A lot of children and families talking about getting ice xxxxx. Blechhhh!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

A slimy superlative

We had parked at Vincent Park. To get away from Rosa's conversation with La Netta, I went into the restroom.

I stayed there until I heard La Netta call me.

"Yes, La Netta?", I asked.

"We're leaving," she said.

As I walked out to the van, I saw La Netta had Jolene with her. She told the park ranger, "He's out, miss".

In the van, I looked where the clock was accidentally. I needed to make sure it didn't say something like 12:42, or I would need to look at it through 12:44, 12:45 . . . up until it said 12:46.

When I looked at the clock, I saw the brochure with the fast food picture that I had seen before. Except this time, I really looked at it. Was that the T-word?

"The txstiest, meatiest . . . " it read. Great. Now I would have to purge.

I began purging in the back seat. La Netta and Jolene eventually came back in. We left off with me still purging.

When I purge off "txsty", I have to do an "ice xxxxx" purge too, so when I heard "nice" or "rice" I had to do some rubble-clearing.

Eventually, La Netta asked, "James, what's wrong?"

"Saw the hamburger picture up in the front of the van," I said. I couldn't say "I saw" because it had an "ice" in it.

"I don't see any hamburger."

"Up in the front."

"Nope, I don't see it."

"A sandwich picture?"

"Oh." La Netta read it to herself. "I didn't think that would bother you. With -E-S-T."

"If it has the Y at the end, it makes me purge."

"Even when it has -E-S-T?"

"Yes. Even with the suffix."

Luckily for me, I finished my purging before we made it to University.

Monday, July 7, 2008

The five senses

This morning at program I heard a song on the radio; it sounded as if it said "Exe on that girl".

"Did they say, 'E-word on that girl'?", I asked La Netta.

La Netta turned off the radio. "What did you say?"

"Did they say 'E-word on that girl'?", I asked. I heard a sigh.

"No, I didn't."

"Whose sigh was that?", I asked.

"Whose side was that?", said La Netta.

"Whose sigh was that?"

"Whose side?"

"Whose sigh? S-I-G-H."

"That was Edward's. It bothers you that Edward sighs?"

"Yes, it does."

I hate it. I'll be clarifying what someone said, and Edward will sigh, or he'll say, "Geez". Never manages to offend me every time.

At 2:40 John picked me up from the van parked outside his office and took me inside. "How are you doing today?", he asked me.

"I'm sleepy", I replied.

"Did you get a lot of sleep?"

"Well, I got a lot of sleep over the week-end, but on Monday morning my ride came for me at 8:25. I only fell asleep between 2:00 and 3:00."

"Between 2:00 and 3:00? What time did you do go to bed?"

"Right after midnight."

"Do you try to stay awake at night?"

"No, I lie there and try to fall asleep."

I told John about this one dream I had. "I had a dream that I was staying after school, and on campus I saw something in a place where I don't usually look. It had black racks filled with candy and juice. I looked and saw this one bottle with red juice in it that was almost empty. I saw a bottle of pineapple juice, and another bottle that had red punch in it."

"How did that dream make you feel?", asked John.

"It would be cool to have a place where I could get juice wherever I wanted it. Although it would be cooler if I had actually drunk some of the juice. Sometimes I'll dream I'm eating something, and I'll taste it, but then when I wake up, my mouth is full of saliva."

"I can see you how could taste something in dreams; your brain stores a memory of tastes."

"It would make sense that if you can see, hear and feel things that aren't there in dreams, you could also taste things that aren't really there."


"And if I weren't anosmic", I continued, "Maybe I'd be able to smell things in dreams."

"Does your lack of a sense of smell have an effect on your sense of taste?"

"Well, once my mother gave me some Chinese long beans, and she told me they were very spicy, but I ate them, and they didn't taste very spicy. But I still enjoy eating many foods."

"I see."

"And I have vivid logaesthetic tastes."

"Do you think your logaesthesia has something to do with your lack of a sense of smell?"

"I never thought about that. But it's an interesting possibility."


"Maybe some abnormality with my sense of taste when my DNA was getting put together."

"Yes. Of all of your senses that remain intact, which would you say is your sharpest?"

"That'd be my hearing."


"I'll often hear the car radio on down low when La Netta can't hear it." Then I told him about the incident with Edward and Brenda when the radio was up at average volume and they couldn't hear it. "But I sometimes wonder if it's just that they have bad hearing."

We talked about my sunglasses, and how they cover my eyes. I mentioned how when I went to the optometrist all I saw was dark, and they put various pairs of glasses in front of my eyes but still all I could see was dark.

John checked for Aaron at 3:15, then he checked again before Aaron finally came at 3:25. I got in the van, and took a ride with Charles before we drove back to when Aaron's appointment was over. As we got back I thought I heard the word "ice xxxxx" in Charles' cellphone conversation.

I went out to investigate and he said it again. "Blechhh!", I said. "You said the I-word!"

"I said, 'He was stealing ice sodas from the ice xxxxx truck'," said Charles.

"That's the I-word!"

I went in and explained to John that I had to purge. So I purged in his office while he played cards with Aaron, and then Stan came in to get me. I told him I just needed a little more time to finish, then I was done and I washed my hands.

When I finally got home, it was 5:15.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

My milkshxke tastes worse than yours

We had parked in front of the CIWP office. La Netta was inside changing Jolene. Maria came up to our van and asked us who wanted to go in with La Netta so Brenda wouldn't have too many people.

Standing outside the van, she asked me whether I wanted to come in. "I think I'll just stay here", I said.

"I think I'll just stay here", I repeated.

"Pardon?", said Maria.


Maria apologized for saying the word, but I already had to purge. I stomped up to the office restroom, and Ken followed suit.

Ken used the restroom, and I joined him in there. When he got out I locked the restroom so no one could come in and say, "Whxxps, sorry". I didn't want to have to go "D'OH!" in addition to my purging off a "pardon".

After I purged, I lay on the couch in the sofa room. La Netta soon came in and told me she'd get me as soon as she was finished with the restroom. Then she came out for me.

La Netta had Mervyn's on the schedule, but she didn't want to drive that far, so she drove to Barnes and Noble instead.

Brenda looked at self-improvement, while I visited the new-age section. I found two books on the year 2012, and picked one of them up. It talked about the number of "tuns" that it took to move from one era to the next, which decreased by a factor of ten each time.

Brenda collected everyone, then we joined La Netta in the van and I told her about the book. Edward had been looking at car books, while Brenda told the group about her "self-improvement" stuff.

We parked in front of the office. Brenda spoke with Edward about toy cars. "You can get some of those little bxtty", she said, and I growled.

She said it again. "They have some little bxtty cars . . ."

"Rrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"What's wrong?", asked Brenda. "Did I say something?"

"You said the B-word."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that was a word." Apparently she didn't remember the time she told Emanuel he could be a "little bxtty god".

I started purging. Then, out of the blue, Edward said "Yxk".

"Why did you say that?", I asked Edward.

"I was just thinking of something", said Edward.

I got busy at purging off both the "bxtty"s and the "yxk" in the back seat. I finally finished my "yadoluk". Then La Netta drove me to In-N-out Burger and asked the cashier for two hamburgers with onions only. Brenda asked for a vanilla shxke.

They said "vanilla shxke" several times. "Bxtty, pardon, shxke", I thought to myself, my brain fighting me. I purged off all the "shxke"s after I got the right taste to do it.

After La Netta grabbed some money from the coin pit up in the front of the van, Lisa said that that was a bad thing to do, as Rosa could steal money from there. She said, "Rosa was taking money from there the other day. I don't think it was appropriate."

"That's all right with me", said La Netta.

Lisa went on to talk about Rosa. Yesterday, she said, Rosa switched the station when KOIT was playing a song Lisa wanted to hear, because the song was "making her tired". She also talked about how Rosa hit curbs when she drove, and then Rosa laughed about it.

"Why is she is this line of business?", asked Lisa. "She should find some other place to work."

La Netta started to get defensive of Rosa. "She's my friend", said La Netta. She told Lisa she shouldn't badmouth a coworker of hers whom she respected.

"And she talks about her family because those people are important to her", said La Netta. "She feels the same way about them that you feel about Tabby, Lisa."

Then we got to the restroom at Vincent Park. I purged off the "bxtty"s in the restroom. Those were the last words I had to purge off before drops!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Purging inside Popexe's

After we picked up Lisa, Edward and Jolene today we stopped at the office. Our plan was to drop Lisa off so she could work at the CIWP office. Everyone in the van got out and we went into the office together. As soon as Lisa and Jolene were with their walkers I stepped out of the van and joined them.

I went to the restroom, then looked in the room with the couch. Someone was sleeping on the couch. He said hi to me, and I waved.

OK. Couldn't sleep there. I went back to where Brenda was. She was no longer talking to Lisa. "Have to talked to Lisa?", I asked her.

"Pxrdon?", asked Brenda.


"I'm sorry!", she said. "That word!"

I headed into the restroom and did my ritual for "pardon".

We went to Marshall's together, then picked up Lisa at the office. After we got to the parking lot, I heard Ken, and saw him walk up to the van.

"Ken!", I said. I told him about how we had Robert on Friday, and Robert had asked me who bought my sunglasses ("Your mom?")

We drove to El Cerrito to get some Chinese food. I had my eyes closed during the drive, so I didn't see what was coming . . .

"I wonder when that ice xxxxx place is going to be open. When I drive by they're always closed", said Lisa.

"Blechhh!", I responded.

"I'm sorry!", said Lisa. "I didn't mean to say it."

"They need to stop floating us around in different groups", said Brenda. "Because when they move us aroond, then we forget the words".

I began purging in the back of the van.

Brenda asked Ken, whose mother bakes wedding cakes, whether he had any slices of cake for her from his last visit to his mother. Ken said he didn't.

"But you said this time it would be for real!", I told Ken.

I was still purging when we got to the Chinese place. I ordered chow mein, teriyaki chicken and sesame seed chicken. I heard the word "rice" seven times while I was in there.

I thought "cire, mearc cie" to myself and continued purging. Brenda knew I needed to purge off Lisa's "ice xxxxx", so she took me into the restroom at Popexe's when they got Popexe's Chicken.

I purged off the I-word completely, then washed my hands. I could hear the song "Don't You Want Me?" by the Human League playing in the restroom. When I came out KOIT was doing a commercial.

I stood around and couldn't stand to hear the words in the restroom anymore. I stepped outside and heard words from a passing car.

Rosa and Ken finally came out. I asked Brenda what was playing on the car radio; she said it was "Chinese music".

We made it to Davis Park and I walked into the restroom. While I was there, my friend Ken came in. "I think Robert is an idiot", said Ken.

"M-hm", he said.

"Robert is so dumb, he doesn't know anything!"


"Robert's so stupid!"

Before long, Brenda got Ken to tell me we were leaving. I walked right out before Ken could come in, then walked back in the restroom to empty my mouth of saliva. We drove home to where I could eat my chow mein and two chicken dishes.