Friday, May 30, 2008

Finishing the month up with Don

La Netta knew she was going to be off today. As a result of this, Don picked me up at 8:54.

I told Don I needed to go to Wal-mart, as that was what was scheduled for La Netta's group on Friday. Without Wal-mart's juices, I'd go thirsty over the week-end.

Don checked to see whether Jeremy would come. As it turned out, Jeremy wasn't feeling well today, so he stayed home from program. The only two clients were Robin and yours truly. With no ado, Don then drove on to Wal-mart.

In the juice section, they had something new. There was a light orange Hawaiian punch flavor called Mango Passionfruit Squeeze. I had never tried or even seen that before, so I bought it. I also bought one bottle of apple juice.

Having purchased all my juices, Don headed over to the pet food section to buy some food for his two dogs, Rex and Joystar. A woman was there who instantly began talking to Don about dogs.

She asked whether Don's two "helpers" enjoyed feeding the dogs. Don said that Robin was shy around dogs and was afraid of the barking. Being autistic, Robin doesn't like noise.

She then talked with Don about the brands of dog food. He said, "I don't want to get the grainy kind, 'cause that's all mxsh".

"Ewwww!", I said.

"You're right", said Don, "It is gross. It's mxsh."

"Mxshy", said his female interlocutor.

Their conversation eventually ended and Don announced that he was taking us out through the garden section of Wal-mart.

"Not the garden section!", I exclaimed.

Don wanted to know what was wrong with the garden section.

"I might run into a plant, Don!"

So we went through the regular check-out. I bought my juices and Don bought his cans of dog food, then we were out the main door.

When we got in the car, Don was about to look at his cellphone, when I saw the back of a dollar bill in his hand. "Wait!", I exclaimed.

I looked at the dollar bill, and said, "Whew! It was just an eagle." I explained to Don that I was glad I didn't see the pyramid.

"Why don't you want to see the pyramid? Is this new?", he asked.

"Don't you remember, Don? The pyramid?"

"Oh, that's right! I had forgotten all about that. Because of the . . ." Don pointed to his left eye.

We got in the van and Don took us to a park in Martinez, where he made his stop. Robin finally got out to use their restroom after being unrouseable for quite a while. Then Don drove somewhere else. All the while, I had my head in my hands, over my knees.

Not wanting to look up when we reached our destination point, I asked, "Where are we parked, Don?"

"Pxrdon?", said Don.

"Rrrrrrrrrr!"

"Oh-h-h-h-h-h! I sound like an old man!"

"You sure do, Don."

"That was the eirst time today. A couple of times, I almost did it, I almost said the M-word, but then I said, 'ssem'."

"Don, may I go to the restroom?"

"I hope you're not in there long."

"It won't be very long." So I walked in and did my ritual for the word "pardon".

I got back in and we rode around some more. All throughout the day the radio was alternatingly turned off and on.

When one song (a song I didn't know) was playing, Don said, "Let me check", and he begin flipping through radio stations.

"Don! Change it back!", I insisted.

Don changed it back, then he started flipping some more.

"DO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-ON!", I yelled.

Just then, Robin began ululating in his characteristic way.

"You've got him hollering like a hound dog", said Don. Don laughed.

The next stop was In-N-out Burger, which I had requested. I got two hamburgers with onions only. As I paid for them, I noticed coins were falling out of my sandwich bag. My new sandwich bag had a hole already.

We were ready to drive home, and got there at 2:06. No one was there, so Don drove to Point Pinole where Robin could use the restroom.

At 2:28 we made it back to my group home. Still no one was there. I told Don that since he had not picked me up until almost 9:00, Stan probably wouldn't come until 3:00.

"Might as well take Robin home", said Don. So he drove over to Robin's group home (the same home Jolene stays in) and dropped him off for the day.

At 2:58 he was back at my house. And Stan was ready there for me.

"Enjoy your In-N-out burgers", said Don.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Netless

On Saturday, our group home had a blackout, and the blackout left my Internet connection down. Stan tried to fix it, but we had to unplug the laptop in order to follow the directions from the Comcast crew over the telephone. It took so long that eventually the battery died. Stan said he would fix it on Tuesday.

On Tuesday Stan was in San Jose so he could not fix it. But on Wednesday he fixed it for sure. And my connection is now via AT&T rather than Comcast.

All the blog entries I've been working on over that time are now posted. There's some stuff on the time I spent in the office and why La Netta doesn't have Marcus in her group anymore, some material on La Netta's patience with Robert in there, and even an entry on yesterday (Wednesday), the day John came on Wednesday instead of Monday. Be sure to catch up on all the entries!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Praying for Lamesha

We picked up Lisa and Robert today. Our first site was Barnes & Noble, and when we got there, Lisa told Ken, "Could you scxxt your . . .?"

I growled. Clarissa went with me into Barnes & Noble, while Robert went into Ross with La Netta so he could look at the headphones.

I purged off the SC-word in the restroom. Then I came out with Clarissa and we looked at the foreign language section. She found a book called Making Out in Tagalog. We read the pick-up lines together, and I actually practiced saying them. Stuff like "You have beautiful eyes". But how many Filipino girls (or boys) would really be willing to date a boy with logaesthesia?

At 10:15 we left to find La Netta and Robert and Ken in Ross. They were at the check-out, and La Netta gave Clarissa the key. We went back into the van.

Our next stop was a community college called Contra Costa College. At the campus we walked around a tennis court about four times. I walked with La Netta, while Robert walked with Clarissa and Ken stood outside the court. Lisa had her walker to stumble with.

Then we stopped by Raley's. La Netta used the women's restroom, and I went into the men's. After that, La Netta got a salad while I stopped by the frozen food aisle and found a magnificent lasagna from Michael Angelo's. I bought the lasagna for $8-something.

Then we got Chinese food in Chef's.

"!Hola!", the woman working there called to me. "?Cómo estás?"

"Es un buen día," I responded. Then I made my order. "Voy a tener . . . el chow mein . . . el puerco agridulce . . . y el pollo con ajonjoli".

She gave me my chow mein, sweet-and-sour pork and chicken with sesame seeds, then asked me, "?No tienes tenedor?"

"Correcto," I said. I did not have to reach out for any plastic silverware.

Then Ken made his order.

"?Cómo estás?", the lady asked him.

"He's the one who was speaking Spanish, not me", said Ken. He ordered his food in English, then after Clarissa ordered hers (in Tagalog -- just kidding!), we left.

"James was speaking Spanish to that lady", said Ken when we got into the van.

"He always speaks Spanish with her", said La Netta.

Since it was so cold outside by the time we got to Kennedy Grove, we all ate in the van. Then we dropped Lisa off, and then dropped off Ken, then Robert. When we got to my house, Stan's van was parked there, but Stan wasn't home. John came around 2:35.

At 3:01 Stan finally got here, and apologized for being late.

"Paalam", Clarissa said to me. She said she would speak Tagalog to me from now on so I could practice. So now she was saying good-bye in Tagalog.

"Paalam", I replied.

"Palam?", said La Netta.

"It's 'pa-alam'. There are two A's", I corrected her.

My appointment with John was going to be brief because of Stan's lateness. But I did have time to talk about Lamesha.

I told him that Lamesha was very sick -- she had said so the last time she came over. She hadn't been online or picking up her cellphone lately, so I could tell she was still sick. But I knew by her coming over that last time that she still loved me.

John said that it must be important to me that she still loved me, and I seemed glad to know that. He pointed out that when Lamesha came over, it reminded me that she loved me. He talked about people loving others even when they don't see them.

"You never forget the people you love," he said.

"Sometimes people have lost other people in a tragedy, and they never forget them and always love them", I said.

"Yes, they never forget them."

"Sometimes they even go the rest of their life without marrying someone else."

"That's true. When they can't get over their loss . . . it takes a long time. Some people never get over it."

I told him that I had La Netta pray for Lamesha every night. Last night I had prayed for her.

Then I got into the people at Fourth Kingdom. I told him I was going to get the Fourth Kingdom community to pray for Lamesha for me.

"Are they going to do it?"

"They're very supportive", I explained. "They'll do it for a friend. A lot of them are atheists, and of course they're not going to pray for her, but many of them will."

Then I told him that someone had submitted a new segment to Inner Bruise, and I was going to follow it up soon. John said the had read it long ago but didn't remember it now.

Then I said, "It's been nice seeing you, John."

"It's been nice seeing you, James", he said.

And I ate my chow mein, sweet-and-sour pork and sesame seed chicken.

Waiting for Bobby Bradley

On Tuesday, the only clients in the van were Ken, Robert and yours truly. Since Robert was in our group, we stayed at the office where he could work. I just wanted to sleep.

After Robert finished his job, La Netta asked me whether I wanted to go to Trader Joe's.

"Is it on the schedule?", I asked.

"Yes", she answered.

So we went there. As we parked out in front of the store, La Netta told Robert: "Robert, when we go into Trader Joe's, I don't want you asking any of the clerks questions". Then she said, "It's not funny, so take that smirk off your face". I decided I wanted to visit the frozen food section of Trader Joe's.

I picked out a quiche, and then, having had some samosas for dinner on Sunday, picked out more of their samosas. I looked at the advertising tags in the middles of the shelves. An ad with a polar bear fishing advertised the chicken sticks as being "exotic" and tempting. I looked below and saw the chicken sticks. They looked like taquitos.

Then, in the section with the wording, the box said "Tantalizingly txsty".

I told La Netta I was good to go. Then I asked her whether there was a restroom in this Trader Joe's. She said she didn't see one.

La Netta walked around the store. She bought several more things for herself. Then she told me, "Close your eyes. I see something". And I bet that she must be talking about ice xxxxx. Good thing I didn't see any ice xxxxx or it would complicate my purging off the word "txsty" greatly.

La Netta's purchases came out to $20. She said she would take me to a restroom in the Emeryville Marina. While I was in Trader Joe's, I thought of Txsty Bite and thought the word to myself. Driving there, I thought of saying "I saw". I thought of "price" and "Bryce" and other words with "ice" in them.

Finally I got to the Emeryville marina. I purged off La Netta's "I see something", then all the other "ice"s I may have heard or seen. It didn't take too long by comparison to do the "tadolasty"s.

"Did you wash your hands and all that good stuff?", La Netta asked me when I came back into the van.

"I sure did," I replied. They were eating lunch.

"What happened? Did you hear something or see something?"

"I saw the T-word."

"Who bought your sunglasses, your mom?", Robert asked me.

"No, I bought them with my own money."

"James, did I do a good job in the office?"

"I didn't see you working, so I can't judge whether you did a good job. That's for La Netta to judge."

"Winna?", called Robert.

"Yes, Robert", replied La Netta.

"Did I do a good job?"

"I think you did", said La Netta.

We were too early to start our drops upon everyone finishing lunch, so La Netta drove to Sears. She went into Sears while Clarissa and I stayed in. "Robert, if you go in you can't ask the people in the store where everything is. Ken, if you're going to wander off, forget about coming in."

So Robert went in. Ken told me he asked the clerks questions, but La Netta said he mainly asked questions about me.

Robert kept asking what I had bought all the way home. I kept telling him I had bought quiche and some samosas.

We picked up Lisa at the office, then started drops. After waiting at Ken's house for a few minutes, his staff finally came and we could drop off Robert. Someone said La Netta has a lot of patience.

She's going to need it if they keep sticking Robert with our group.

Ask not at whom the chimp smirks . . .

On Thursday, we didn't have Marcus. We did, however, have Robert. I got my usual seat in the van instead of having to move to the middle seat of the back row as I did when Marcus was in our group.

La Netta took me to the office. She told me I could use the Internet, but when I entered the Internet room Daniel was on the computer. When Daniel finally finished I told La Netta I wanted to show her something on the Internet. She said she wanted to finish talking to Emanuel first.

Robert walked into rooms and spoke with people like Lita and Maria, even though La Netta had told him not to.

Finally La Netta came in to the Internet room with me, and I showed her a site called http://www.dumbya.com to her amazement. We looked at the parody picture, in which instead of creating Adam, God creates Shrub.

Then La Netta told me, "Just one minute". She had to go out and take care of Robert.

I called La Netta's name. Then I called it again and she finally walked back in.

At the Dumbya site, I showed La Netta the pictures of the president, juxtaposed which pictures of chimpanzees with the same facial expressions. All La Netta could say at that site was "Wow".

Then I pulled up an anti-Bush classic, The Smirking Chimp. I told her about the recent article on that site comparing Hillary to Madonna. We read the motto together: "Ask not at whom the chimp smirks; he smirks at thee".

I got done with the site and looked for the schedule. I wandered around the room some more. While I was wandering, I suddenly noticed some coupons on a table. I wanted to make sure I didn't just see a Frosty Freeze coupon. With my heart pounding, I scrutinized each item on the coupon rolls.

It was then that I saw a "Nick or Treat" coupon. It showed Nickelodeon's logo with two pumpkins. One of them had a dipser hanging from it. The other coupon had the same Nick or Treat. Oh well, it beat Frosty Freeze.

I spent some time in the restroom purging those dipsers. I was purging when I heard Ayyoon call my name.

"We're leaving?", I asked.

"Yes", he said.

I zipped up and left the restroom. After a few minutes, I asked La Netta why we hadn't left yet. She explained that we weren't leaving yet. I told her about Ayyoon. She said she had simply asked Ayyoon to go up to the restroom and see if I was there because she wanted to know where in the office I was.

I told her about the dipsers. She said I had her permission to go finish up.

So I finished up purging till we left at a bit after 11:00, minus Emanuel. I got Chinese food, and ordered chow mein, three egg rolls and mixed vegetables with shrimp. There was only one shrimp left in their mixed vegetable bin, so I had to wait for the chefs to cook up some more before I got my order. Luckily, no words were said between then and the time they finished my order.

La Netta took my plastic silverware out and we were on our way. The others had lunch.

At the end of the day we had in front of my group home, waiting for Stan to arrive. La Netta talked with Brenda about how Marcus had worn her out by misbehaving at Target yesterday. Marcus had exited Target with her and he tried to run back in, presumably having smelled the coffee roasting. He pulled at her arm and ran all around, frightening customers. That was when she had met Stacy Rogerson, who later chatted with Ernesto. Stacy had told La Netta that the former's son was just like Marcus (he was even blind). La Netta had called Lita and told her, "No more". She could not handle Marcus. Marcus was too much for her, and had put strain on her body. La Netta even seemed to be developing a cold -- she theorized that Marcus had weakened her immune system from all the stress he put on her.

"Marcus has got you a mxss", said Brenda.

"Ewww!"

Brenda apologized. Not long thereafter, Stan drove into the driveway. When I got inside, the clock said 2:43, so I had to look at it say 2:44, and then 2:45. When it turned to 2:46, I got my chopsticks out and started eating my Chinese food. Nothing like egg rolls with sweet and sour sauce.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Don't think about the T-word

Today La Netta teamed up with a coach named Ernesto to pick up Ken, Jolene, Marcus, Ayyoon, Sayun and me. When we made it to the office, Ernesto got out with Ayyoon and Sayun to work, and La Netta was left with four. A songle coach is only allowed to take three clients at a time, so La Netta stayed at the office.

We all went in. I used the restroom before lying down. Then I fretted about how we were going to get to Target today if we were stuck at the office.

Ernesto and the two Mien cousins did finish working eventually, and we got to go to Target after all. We looked at the chocolates for a while, then La Netta took me to the juice aisle. I got my usual two Market Pantry apple juice bottles, then looked around longer -- at the pomegranate juice and blueberry juice and things like that.

Then, on the Archer juice, I looked closely and saw the Archer motto -- "Txsty food, txsty prices". I told La Netta I would have to use the restroom before we left.

"What happened?", asked La Netta.

"Saw the T-word", I replied.

I tried hard to avoid thinking the words "txsty" or "ice xxxxx" to myself while I followed La Netta, by arm, to the check-out. I tried thinking "Whxxps, whxxps, whxxps, whxxps" to myself to get my mind off the T-word and I-word. While I was waiting to be taken to the restroom, it occurred to me that the word "prices" had "ice" in it, and I would have to purge off all the times I saw the word or thought of it. I would also have to purge off all the "ice"s on the juice bottles.

La Netta took me to the counter, where I paid with a twenty-dollar bill for my juices. After I got my change back, I covered the bills up and inched over the edges, making sure the one-dollar bills were right-side-up. After I had confirmed these with all three of my one-dollar bills, I folded them up and put them in my sandwich bag. I went to the restroom while La Netta paid for her yogurt.

In the restroom, I did a lot of "ice"s and purged off six dieferent "txsty"s. (Three bottles with the "Txsty food, txsty prices" motto were in my view.)

I came out and followed Ernesto. We met a woman named Stacy Rogerson who said she had a 13-year-old son who was developmentally disabled, and thought it was wonderful that our program was doing this.

In the van I learned what had happened. While I was in the restroom, Marcus had gone to running around and pulling on La Netta's arm. We got totally out of La Netta's control and La Netta had to ask Ernesto to stand outside the restroom for me. The woman saw Marcus and said her son was a lot like him.

Ayyoon picked a book out of the back and tried to practice reading.

"K-A-N-G-A-R-O-O", he spelled out.

"Kangaroo", I told him.

"F-U-R-R-Y."

"Furry."

"What?"

"Furry, like an animal that's covered with fur."

"N-I-P-P-L-E."

"Nipple."

"N-E-W-B-O-R-N."

"Newborn."

"What?"

"Newborn."

"What's that?"

"A newborn is a baby who was just born. Like they were born a week ago, they're called a newborn."

We went to KFC for lunch. I came in, and while I was waiting in line, I thought I heard a woman say "Whxxps?" Then somebody responded as if he were answering her question. Maybe she really said, "What?", but I would purge it off just in case.

I got an original leg and two original thighs. After that, I went back into the van, where La Netta would get out and get lunch for herself and Jolene (Jolene had brought along $5 toeay).

We finally stopped at Miller's Knots. Jolene said, "I need a frok".

"There's one in there," said La Netta.

Then La Netta asked me, "Could you hold Jolene's lunch while we're making it to the tables?"

"Doesn't she have plastic silverware in there?", I asked.

"No, she doesn't."

"I heard you say, 'There's one in there'."

"I have it with me."

I followed the trail to the two restrooms. The big one was locked so I used the small, thin one. There I purged off, "fadorork, fadorork, fadorork". Then I got to the "whxxps".

I came out and got my pill. Shortly thereafter, she began the drops with six clients. La Netta dropped off Sayun, followed by Ayyoon. Then she dropped off Marcus in El Sobrante, followed by fellow El Sobrantean Ken.

We stopped for gas, then La Netta eropped Ernesto off at the office. La Netta stopped for gas again, then dropped off me. She almost forgot my two bottles of juice in the back of the van!

Monday, May 19, 2008

School over

This morning Brenda tried to get Lisa's seatbelt on. "School . . . move over", she said.

"La Netta", I called to La Netta.

"Yes, James?", said La Netta.

Then we hit a stoplight. I couldn't talk.

"Stupid stoplight!", I exclaimed.

Then the van moved a little, then stopped again, and then started moving in earnest.

"Did Brenda actually say the whole word?", I asked.

"No, she didn't", said La Netta.

"How much of it did she say?"

Brenda answered me. "I turned it into 'school'."

"Oh, OK." I was glad a trip to the restroom was averted.

A commercial came on the radio, and La Netta tried a few stations before stopping at one that was playing music. We listened until the station ID came on.

"The call letters are KBLX."

"La Netta! Why did you turn to KBLX?", I objected.

"All the other stations were playing commercials. I tried three other stations. Alice, and Lisa's station", she said, referring to KISS-FM.

"Did you try KOIT?", I asked.

"What station is that?"

"96.5."

We tried 96.5, and it was playing a commercial, then La Netta turned the radio off.

Our first trip was to Old Navy. We were doing fine, walking through the store, then La Netta said, "O-o-o-oh. Close your eyes, James."

So I closed my eyes for the rest of the trip. I probably missed some pajamdras, and I'm glad I did.

We got out of Old Navy, and our next stop was Trader Joe's. We visited the frozen foods aisle, and I picked out a calzone, while La Netta picked out some egg rolls. In the chocolate section, La Netta got chocolate-covered almonds, and I, chocolate-covered pistachios.

I wanted to look at the cookies too. "Only look at the top section", said La Netta. So I looked, probably avoiding ice xxxxx, and finally picked out some chocolate meringues. We made our purchases.

As we waited outside John's office we heard the song "I Only Want to Be with You" (the Hootie and the Blowfish song, not the Dusty Springfield song).

"Did they say, 'take me'?", I asked.

"They did not", said La Netta.

"Or did they say the T-word?"

"No."

"So if they didn't say 'take me' and they didn't say the T-word, what did they say?"

"You may have to look that one up."

John came out at 2:35. We walked out, with my Trader Joe's bag, then I had to walk back to the van to say good-bye to Jolene.

I walked back to John's office. I talked with him for a bit about how wonderful Jolene was. I explained that it made me laugh when she described a food as "my favorite", and told him the story of how Jolene had recently said lasagna was her favorite (he hadn't read the blog entry).

Then I started thinking about Ayyoon. I called him "the Liar of Jacuzzi Street". John saw me biting myself and could see that I was angry.

John wanted to know whether he lied to me. I explained to him aboot the times Ayyoon would talk trash about me then claim, "I wasn't talking about you".

"How angry does Ayyoon make you -- on a scale of 1 to 100?," asked John.

"He can go up to 90", I said.

"Is there some way . . . that instead of getting angry at his lies, you can look forward to his lies?"

"Well . . .", I began, "I could make a drawing of Ayyoon, with a really long nose, labeled 'Ayyoonochio', and I could draw speech bubbles to the left and right and fill them with different lies he's told, and then every time he tells a new lie, I could fill another speech bubble."

"That sounds like a great idea! Then you can look forward to his lies!"

I excused myself to go to John's bathroom, whereinto I carried my Trader Joe's bag with me. I took care of my diarrhea, then washed off my chocolate-covered pistachio box and my meringue box, each of which had fallen out of the bag in the van. When I was sure there were no more specks left on them, I put them back in and exited the bathroom.

When I got back, we spoke about KBLX. I explained how La Netta was taking a dangerous risk by switching to KBLX, which did traffic all between 9 and5 at intervals of about thirty minutes. "I'm afraid that she's going to switch to it in the middle of a traffic report, and they'll say the M-word", I said. "It's like playing with matches."

John checked his cellphone to see whether Stan had left a message, as it was 3:20 and Aaron had not come yet. Finally Aaron arrived, and I left John's office.

"It's been nice seeing you, James."

"It's been nice seeing you, John."

Oh, and I checked the Hootie and the Blowfish lyrics via Google. The song says "baby", "crazy" and "make me". But not "txsty".

Sunday, May 18, 2008

I get to go to Target after all

On Thursday morning, La Netta made a trip so somewhere I thought I wouldn't go this week -- Target.

An item of clothing she had bought turned out to be the wrong size. So she came to return it. When she stopped there La Netta whether I wanted to go in to get some juices.

This was a no-brainer. I followed La Netta in, and held onto her arm. When we got to the juice section there were exactly two round bottles of Market Pantry apple juice left. "They must be for you", said La Netta.

We then visited Barnes & Noble, where La Netta and I listened to some Blink-182. I had told her that that music was popular among teen-age boys. From the sample she heard, La Netta said it sounded like teen boy music.

"Luck Be a Lady Tonight" played on the intercom, and I told La Netta that the song was from Guys and Dolls. It still played as she and I left.

Then Pacific East Ranch Market was on our schedule. She showed me the cherimoyas, and asked if I wanted to buy one. I said I only had $5 left. They were $3.99 a pound.

I ended up buying crab chips instead. While I was in the market, I had seen two cracker bags that said "Crisp and Txsty", so I spent some time in the CIWP office's restroom when we left.

We had lunch at a park that was near a marina. I had to stand up, because there were no places to sit (except those benches, which may have cobwxbs on them).

I tried to calm my nerves by singing. I sang Lamesha's favorite song, "No One" by Alicia Keys, which had been on the radio earlier that day. I sang "Otherside" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I sang "Restrainer" by Red Cilantro.

When we got back in the van, Lisa told someone to scxxt the seat up. I growled, and Lisa fretted that she didn't want me going to a restroom. La Netta said we would soon go to the office.

We split the group, as Clarissa took Ken and Marcus and left the van with them once we reached the office. La Netta would drive Lisa, Robin and me home.

At the office, I purged off the word "scxxt" in the office. It was 1:45 when I got back in the van.

La Netta drove to McDonald's, and as she drove there, my right hand touched the seat. I didn't have my sleeve rolled over it. I examined it and there were black specks on a few of the finges.

"La Netta", I said, "I've got to wash my hands."

"We're almost at your home", she said.

La Netta drove me home, and we waited for Stan until 2:45. She gave me a Southern-style chicken burger from McDonald's.

I put it and the crab chip bag in my left hand, as La Netta gave my staff Jasmine the bag with the juices in it to carry in. When I got in I washed my right hand with soap and water and then scraped it with Risperdal containers in my pocket. I then proceeded to eat my chicken burger in my room, where my bottles of juice were waiting there for me.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I meet Dr. Espiritu

Our group was starting its day out at Vincent Park, and Clarissa and La Netta wanted everyone out of the van so they could take a wake around the park.

Jolene's wheelchair had been wheeled out, and La Netta asked me whether I was ready. I said yes, and got out.

Then, when I got out, I heard Clarissa saying "Whxxps!"

"D'OH!", I said, banging my fist against the center of my forehead.

"Sorry", said Clarissa.

I told them I would be in the restroom. They said I should "cut it in half" so we didn't run over our time at Wal-mart and Target today. They said they would wait on me, but I needed to hurry up so we could have our walk together.

Then I started purging, doing some "whadoloops, whadoloops, whadolewps, adolewps, whadoloops, adoloops, adolewps". I finished the rubble-clearing, clearing out all the times I had thought the word to myself, but somehow I just couldn't capture the feeling of Clarissa's "whxxps" right. I felt as if I were scraping the wrong parts of the barrel. It just wasn't coming up.

La Netta came changing Jolene, saying that as soon as she changed Jolene, we would leave Vincent Park. I tried harder.

I did the first twelve "whadoloops"es, then a "whadoloops", then the "whadoloops, whadoloops, whadolewps, adolewps, whadoloops, adoloops, adolewps" portion, then twelve "adolewps"es. Then I did twelve more "whadoloops"es. But I was stuck again.

La Netta said she was done changing Jolene. I told her I had to wash my hands. And with that, I finally felt the whipped cream of Clarissa's "whxxps" coming up with my "whadoloops". I did a "whadoloops, whadoloops, whadolewps, adolewps, whadoloops, adoloops, adolewps" segment, then twelve "adolewps"es, then an "adolewps" that went up, and I was done.

When I got out I asked Clarissa why she said the WH-word.

"Because you almost tripped over the wheelchair", she said.

I wasn't going to trip over that thing!

I came into the van and La Netta received a call on her cellphone. The call was telling her to take me to the Richmond Mental Health Clinic! I would miss Wal-mart and Target today!

Thursday is Barnes & Noble and the Pacific East Ranch Market, and Friday is Long's. I will most likely end up buying bottles of juice at Long's on Friday.

La Netta gave me my pill as we stopped at the clinic at 10:52. Stan picked me up from there. I said good-bye to both Ken and Jolene, and of course to La Netta, before following Stan in.

Once I was in there, they had me sign a paper and asked me my address. They told me a doctor would see me at 11:00. 11:00 came and the doctor was still not there.

Finally a man came to see me. He introduced himself as Dr. Espiritu, and took me (with Stan) into his office.

He asked me about my problems. I told him that I have to "purge" when I hear or read certain words.

He asked me when my OCD started, and I said I had had it since I was 6. I told him how the purging started in kindergarten as a scrape down my throat, and soon evolved into what I do today.

"How would you describe your childhood?", asked Dr. Espiritu.

I thought, then told him I was in regular education.

"Living in group homes?", he asked.

"No, I lived with my parents", I replied. "Then, when I started junior high, I started going into special education. In junior high and high school I took special education, with a few mainstream classes."

"Then you started living in group homes?"

"No. I lived with my parents until I was 25. Then I moved into a home with Stan." I pointed to Stan.

"Are your parents still alive?"

"Yes."

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"One brother, one sister."

"Now, from what I understand, your family are professionals."

"Probational?", I asked. It was hard to understand his accent. Judging by his name, it was probably either an Hispanic or a Filipino accent.

"Professional", he said. We talked about my sister being a geologist and my brother studying at Stanford. My parents were a CPA and an investment manager.

"It says here you bite yourself?", he asked.

"That's right." I talked about Risperdal and how I was put on it to stop the self-mutilation and endless yelling.

"It also says, head-banging", said Dr. Espiritu.

"Show him your hand", Stan told me.

I showed Dr. Espiritu my right hand, which had two cut marks on it.

"So which behavior are you most concerned about? The purging?", asked Dr. Espiritu.

"I'm most concerned about the biting himself and beating himself up," said Stan. "It's more out in the community. When he's at home, he's in his room, and he has his sound box on so he can't hear any words. But when he comes out of his room, he'll hear the news, and he'll ask me if they said a word. Or when he's out in the community, when we're driving around in my van, he has the other clients. And the radio is on. And he'll ask if they said the M-word, or the WH-word, or the I-word, or the SC-word."

"What are those words?"

"I can't say them, because then James will want to purge. I'll tell you when we're leaving. And he'll hit himself. Sometimes he'll think he said a word, when no one said it. Every once in a while, someone will say one of those words, but . . ."

To stop the hitting myself, Dr. Espiritu put me on 6 milligrams on Risperdal a day instead of 4 milligrams. Now I'm going to take 2 pills in the a.m. and 1 pill in the p.m.

"Adios", I said to Dr. Espiritu.

"Adios."

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

On the search for lasagna

I was happy to see La Netta back today. It's always nice to know that she'll be driving for me. It simply turned out that her daughter Sierra was sick yesterday. La Netta herself is fine.

La Netta and Clarissa drove us to the farmers' market, as was on our schedule. We all got out of the van, then I held onto La Netta's left arm. Trees and bushes were on our left, so I switched to her right arm as we maneuvered ourselves through the market. I saw a bicycle to my right.

Then to my right I saw a little boy in a stroller. I looked at his shoes -- were those dipsers on the vamps?

I walked up and looked closer. There were pictures of creepy dipsers all over the shoes. Definitely dipsers. I continued looking until La Netta led me away.

La Netta wanted to buy some cilantro, so I followed her as Clarissa took Marcus and Jolene. They had some kohlrabi (which they misspelled as "khorabie"), and I showed it to La Netta. I had told her about kohlrabi and explained to her that it resembled a human hand and looked like something from outer space. The cilantro was misspelled too (as "cilandtro").

As we left, I heard Clarissa say, "Whxxps!"

"D'OH!", I explained, hitting myself on the forehead. I hit myself thirteen times total.

"I'll take you somewhere", La Netta said. Clarissa explained that Marcus had fallen as she was guiding him.

La Netta had said that we would get our exercise by walking today, and we were within walking distance from Trader Joe's. She asked me whether I wanted to go to Trader Joe's and I said yes.

So we walked there. La Netta asked if I wanted to get some lasagna.

"I loooooove lasagna," said Jolene. "I loooooove lasagna. Lasagna's my favorite."

I smiled at La Netta. She didn't seem to be looking at me, so I turned my head, with my teeth in a smile. "I see you", said La Netta.

So we got to the frozen food aisle. We saw a lasagna, but it was only Trader Joe's vegetarian variety that I didn't want. I left the lasagna there and went on the search for something else.

La Netta suggested I look at the chocolate foods. So I looked and picked out a box of chocolate-covered macadamias, subsequently placing them in the shopping basket Jolene was holding. I continued looking until La Netta said, "I see some things there you won't like. Do you want to leave this aisle?"

"Yes", I said.

"Are you good to go?"

"I want to look at some frozen foods."

So La Netta took me to the frozen food aisle. "Only look on the right", she said.

I looked there and I found some tamales. There were chicken, beef and green chili with cheese. I picked the green chili with cheese.

"Do you like tamales, Jolene?", asked La Netta.

"Yes, I do. I love tamales. That one's my favorite." Jolene has actually said tamales were her favorite before.

After selecting the tamales, I was good to go. We made it to the check-out, where I handed the cashier a twenty and a one-dollar bill for my $5.98 purchase. He gave me a ten and a five back.

Next we went to the GNC, also by walking. I looked at the pictures of the models on the diet supplement and exercise equipment packaging. All the guys had brown hair, but woman after woman was blonde. I finally found a picture of a woman with dark hair.

We made it to the office to pick up Lisa and Ken. I purged off Clarissa's "whxxps" in the restroom there, and began work on those dipser shoes. I was still purging those pesky arachnids off when La Netta came to take me to lunch.

I did not buy lunch today. Instead I drove with Ken and the bunch as they went to get chicken.

We stopped at Davis Park. I purged and purged in the restroom and then, in the middle of the purging, came out to ask La Netta for my pill so I could take it when I was done with the purging. After she finished her burrito, she finally gave it to me.

I went back in and kept on purging off those hideous dipsers. So some parent actually thinks dipser shoes would look nice on his tot?

Ken came in and said, "Bush lies."

"Yep. He lied about his drunk driving and Iran being a threat", I replied.

He came in later and I told him, "Bush is a drunk and a fascist."

"Yeah!", said Ken.

In the midst of my purging, I heard a man outside say to another fellow, "(something something something) exe on him."

"Ewwwww!", I shrieked.

I buttoned up my pants and walked right out of the restroom.

"Did you hear that?", I asked La Netta.

"No," she replied.

"Someone said the K & E words!"

I went back in and spent several minutes doing my "keep an exe on" ritual.

Ken walked in again. "Bush is a fool liar drunk."

"He sure is, Ken", I said, "He sure is."

When I was finished, I purged off those dipsers.

I got done with them and La Netta welcomed me into the van. We were all fine, until Lisa got in.

At first I thought she said "screwed up", but then she repeated it. "Does this seat scxxt up?", she asked.

I growled.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Lisa.

Then Lisa told Ken, "Could you scxxt . . ."

I growled again and she stopped.

"Is there time to go to the restroom?", I asked.

"No, there's no time", said Lisa. "Quick -- La Nett-aa! Close the door! Close the door before he zooms out!"

"Yes," said La Netta, "We have plenty of time."

"Oh, god," said Lisa. "He's going to spend five hours in there!"

I entered the restroom and unbuttoned my pants. Then I did some "scadoloot up, scadoloot up" ritual for Lisa's two "scxxt up"s. Then I got the last "scxxt".

I had just buttoned my pants when I heard Lisa, in the van, say "ice xxxxx".

"You shouldn't say that!", admonished Ken.

I let out a loud "Blechhh!", hoping that Lisa would hear.

My pants came open again. I did a soft, surfacial, creamy "adolice cradoleam".

Ken walked in. "1:26", he said.

I kept on purging, hoping to get four thrusts for the creamy, soft surface and one "adolice cradoleam" thrust that would cover it all."

Ken walked in again and looked at his watch. He told me it was 1:29.

"Are you ready?", La Netta called from the van.

"Almost", I said.

A little while later, La Netta said, "We're ready to go home."

"OK!", I yelled loud enough so La Netta could hear me. "JUST LET ME WASH!"

I bought time to finish up that "ice xxxxx". At last I was free.

I made it home, and got my first chimichanga at 6:30.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Pajamdrarama

Kay and Clarissa were picking us up today. They had Jolene, Marcus, Lisa and Dante Marshall in addition to me.

When the van made a stop, I heard Clarissa say "(wh)xxps".

"Did you say the OO-word, or was that the WH-word?", I asked.

"Neither. I just said, 'Oh'," said Clarissa.

After we picked up Dante, Kay and Clarissa puzzled over where to go to change Jolene's diaper. They said the Dollar Tree was on our schedule, but none of us wanted to buy anything at the Dollar Tree. That was when Lisa suggested Barnes & Noble. Everyone said it was a great idea, so Kay changed the schedule to go there.

Upon finally getting to Barnes & Noble, I held onto one of Clarissa's hands and closed my eyes so I didn't see anything that made me purge. She used the other hand to hold onto Marcus. Kay, meanwhile, was pushing Jolene. Imagine that -- a blind man, a logaesthete and a woman in a wheelchair all in one group.

Clarissa took me right up to the restroom, where I went in and purged off a "whxxps" (just in case Clarissa really said it -- I really did hear a P and an S) as she took care of Marcus. Kay, meanwhile, was changing Jolene.

When I got out, Clarissa was there waiting for me. She took me to the CD section. In the pop rock, I found a copy of Third Eye Blind's Blue and wanted to listen to it, but a guy there kept putting CD after CD into the headphone scanner. Finally Iwalked around to the other side of the shelf and used the headphones there. I looked at some Jock Jams and 80's music mixes too. At the other side of the aisle was World Music. I listened to some Irish, and some Japanese, and some African, and looked at something called Latin reggae. Very cosmopolitan.

At the side of the aisle, I saw a Dora the Explorer album called Sleepytime Tunes, or Sleepytime something. Dora was carrying a teddy bear. Was that a pink nightie she was wearing? Or were those pajamdras?

Shortly afterwards, Clarissa collected everyone and took them into the van. I purged off Dora's pajamdras in the back seat.

While we were driving, Lisa said to Jolene in the middle row, "Could you please scxxt over a little bit?"

"Rrrrrrrrrr", I growled.

"Oh, I'm sorry", said Lisa.

"It's 12:00," said Kay. "We did pretty well today, didn't we James?"

"You did", I told her.

Dante's mother had given him a $5 bill. He said he wanted something from the 99-cent menu, but Kay said he had to spend the whole five dollars. They told him to buy a salad, as both Dante and his mother said he liked salads.

"I want something for 99 cents", said Dante.

"No, you're going to buy a salad", said Kay.

Dante kept repeating that he wanted a 99-cent item. He wants to save that money so he can buy tapes. Finally, they ordered a salad for Dante and he handed Clarissa the bill. Clarissa gave him back his change.

Then the van stopped at the Chinese restaurant and Kay took me along.

After I stepped out, I walked across the sidewalk to get to the restaurant. I couldn't believe what I was. There was a girl wearing pajamdra bottoms.

I didn't tell Kay, because she might say the word if I pointed it out to her. Still trembling, I walked inside the restaurant. I ordered chow mein, eggplant and broccoli beef. Kay kept telling them, "No frok".

"No napkin or frok?", the cashier asked.

"I want a napkin", I said.

"He wants a napkin but no frok", Kay clarified.

I got back in the van, now more full than ever before today. As we rode along to Vincent Park, Kay started singing, "Rock the boat, rock the boat".


"Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down, you're rocking the boat", I sang.

Then I sang Kay the whole song.

"Now, what kind of boat was this?", asked Kay. "Is this a sailors' ship, because they've got whiskey?"

"It's the boat to Heaven", I answered.

"Oh, that's right", said Kay. "You were singing that."

"Is that a real song?", asked Lisa.

"Yep", I said. "It's from Guys and Dolls."

While we were still in the van, Lisa began eating her lunch.

"Don't eat in the van, we're not there yet!", said Kay.

"Dante is eating too", said Clarissa.

"Dante, it's not lunchtime yet."

"First he doesn't want to buy his lunch, then he doesn't want to have to wait to eat it", I said.

"Yeah! How about that?", said Kay.

In the restroom I purged off Lisa's "scxxt". Then I spent a lot time in there purging for those pajamdras. "Pajamdras, pajamdras, pajamdras, pajamdras", it sounded like.

When at last I was done, I came out and Kay gave me my pill. I went back into the restroom and swallowed it.

The two coaches decided to split the drops, so I stayed with Clarissa, and Kay took Dante and Jolene with her. Marcus was dropped off, then at 2:34 I arrived at John's office.

John finally came out. Clarissa took me into his office, and he asked me how I was.

"I've had some rough purging", I said. Then I asked John, "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes," said John. John said he had indeed been sick for a few weeks, which explains why I hadn't been seeing him lately.

I told him about the SC-word, then I told him about the girl in her pajamdras.

"Does the sight of people wearing those bother you?", asked John.

"Yes, yes. It makes me purge", I said. Then I said, "Our generation has thrown pretty much all social conventions into the trash."

"What do you mean by that?"

"We disregard them as something that has no use. In fact, I saw an article not too long ago on this very topic. It talked about the lacrosse team greeting the president in their flip-flops."

John wasn't familiar with the event, so I told him about it. He said it seemed that some people felt insulted at the flop-flops.

"If someone I knew passed away and I were going to their funeral, I would probably show up in my turtleneck", I said.

"Is that because you like wearing turtlenecks?" asked John.

"It's because that's what I always wear."

"Do you think some people will judge you negatively?"

"Well, if it were Jolene who died, some of the people at her group home would be there, and they'd be offended. But if it were Lamesha, none of her friends would be offended."

"So you think it depends on the person?"

"Yep."

Afterwards, I thought I heard "pajxmxs" in a song that goes "Protection, make me your selection" in Stan's van. When I got home, I googled it. The song was by Mario, and the words is "diamonds". Not "pajxmxs". Whew.


Thursday, May 8, 2008

Steer manure

When Shirley picked me up this morning, La Netta was back. I was so happy to see the woman who holds onto my arm when we go places. I took my spot in the back row next to Marcus. Marcus has been monopolizing my usual left spot for several days now. We picked up Jolene, and then Lisa.

Lisa was on time. She's been coming out when we arrive at her house all this week, so she can earn herself an ice coffee on Friday, courtesy of La Netta. However, it took several minutes on end to get Lisa in the van, as she had to go back into her apartment for her stepping stool.

"Let me see if I can fix this seat and scxxt up", said Shirley.

"Rrrrrrrr!", I growled.

When La Netta got in, she said she heard me growl, but didn't hear what had caused it. I explained to her about Shirley saying the SC-word.

We got to the office, where Lisa got out to work. I used the restroom and purged off the SC-word.

Then we drove to Krispy Kreme. Shirley went in and bought coffee, then complained that it cost $1.49.

Marcus unfastened his seatbelt, then started to walk towards the front of the van so he could grab the steering wheel.

"No, Marcus!" La Netta forced him back to the back of the van.

La Netta made a call on her cellphone as Shirley drove to the animal shelter. The conversation turned to her son Jeremiah having trouble fitting into his school uniform this morning because he was growing fatter. "He was OK", said La Netta, "But his chest was pxking out".

"Rrrrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

"Is that a word?", asked La Netta.

"Just continue with your call", I told her.

When we made it to the animal shelter on San Pablo Avenue in Pinole, I removed my hands from in front of my eyes and walked in.

First we took a look at the dogs, then we went into another dog-filled room. Jolene talked to the puppies, and was clearly delighted. We learned that Jolene liked animal shelters.

Then Ken opened another door for us, and this time around we looked at cats. Cats and kittens were placed into several cages in a room, all lined with newspaper at the bottom.

"Cutxe cutxe!", called Shirley to the cats.

"Eachhh Eachhh!", I cried.

We made it out of the animal shelter with me desperately needing to purge. I covered my eyes as we drove down the same street in Pinole, so I wouldn't see Frosty Freeze. When I asked La Netta the time, she said it was 11:13, but I couldn't take my pill yet because I had to purge.

We were back at the office, ready to pick up Lisa from her office work. I uncovered my eyes at got out of the van. In the restroom I purged off La Netta's "pxking out", but didn't get to the two "cutxe"s. Meanwhile, La Netta was telling Lita about Marcus getting out of his seat in the van to reach the steering wheel. He had done it thrice today.

Everyone agreed on the burrito truck for lunch today, so we stopped there. While we were driving there, the conversation turned to raising pets, like cats, dogs, rabbits and chickens. La Netta said she grew up with pet rabbits. When Shirley talked about the chickens, she talked about eggs. "You get the chicks, the little bxtty ones . . .", she said.

"Rrrrrrrrr!", I growled.

I got my burrito, as did La Netta, and Ken, and Shirley. Then we were headed for Kennedy Grove.

I got out when we parked in the Kennedy Grove parking lot. A stream of saliva poured from my mouth onto the ground. I walked with La Netta down the road.

"Can you make it to the restrooms from here?", she asked me.

"No", I replied.

"Just follow the road."

"Doesn't the road bifurcate at one point?"

"I'll tell you when to go right."

So I walked down the road. When I got to the fork in the road, La Netta told me to go right. I soon found the Kennedy Grove restroom.

I purged off Shirley's "bxtty". Then I purged off the two "cutxe"s. Those took a while.

Marcus got home, then we parked in front of Ken's house waiting for Ken's staff. While we were there, Lisa and Shirley smelled something.

"Steer manure", said Shirley.

"Sture?", asked Lisa.

"Steer", I clarified. "Castrated bull."

When La Netta got there, they told her about the smell. La Netta wanted to know what a steer was.

"A castrated bull, isn't that right?", asked Lisa.

"So what's the difference between a steer and a bull?", asked La Netta.

"A bull has testicles", I said.

"But why doesn't a steer have testicles?", La Netta asked.

"A steer is castrated so it can be raised for meat. They'll turn it into a steak or something. The bulls, they need them to mate with the cows to produce calves."

"But why do they need to castrate the steers to raise them for meat?", asked Shirley. "Do you know?"

I shrugged.

When I made it home, I did not eat my burrito until 4:45.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

A trip to Antioch

I was picked up at 9:00 today. When I walked out of the house, Kay was there to greet me. I entered the van and Maria was there. They had Ken and Marcus already in the van.

"We're getting onto University", Kay told me as we made it onto this road. I kept my eyes covered tightly with my hands. A little later, she said, "Now we're past that area". She meant that we had passed Frosty Freeze. I could breathe easy.

We picked up Lisa, and then the coaches announced we were driving to Antioch to see the central CIWP office of California. I covered my eyes until I asked Kay whether we had passed Frosty Freeze again and she said yes.

I listened to the radio, as "Another Sad Love Song" played. After they said "sing", I wondered if I heard them say "t-ngle". I could look it up when I got home. But when we made it to the office, I went in and purged it off for now, just to be on the safe side.

While we were making it to Antioch, Kay and Maria talked about the housing development. "They have houses popping up axx oxxx the pxxxx", said Kay.

I started purging in the back seat, but the other clients kept saying "all" and "Walnut Creek" and "call", so I had to purge these words off before I could get to the "axx oxxx the pxxxx".

While I was purging, Kay said something, and Maria said, "Pxrdon?"

I growled. This wasn't the first time I've groaned at Maria's "pardon"s. One time La Netta had just passed me back my pill when Maria said "pardon", and I had to pass my pill back up for the time being.

Maria told me that she wouldn't say anything more, to avoid upsetting me.

A little while later, Lisa or Maria, said something, and Kay said, "Pxrdon?"

I growled again, and Kay apologized.

Well, we finally made it to the CIWP office in Antioch. When we landed, Maria said "Oops, sorry". I asked her whether she said the WH-word.

"I said 'sorry'," said Maria.

I clarified that I meant what she said before she said sorry.

Kay told me she had just said "oops", and not "whxxps". I told her that was OK.

"I won't stop talking, so you're going to have to deal with me today", said Maria.

While I got out and couldn't wait to use the restrooms, Kay kept me waiting by getting out of the van, then going up to each van window and opening it.

I had to dodge several trees on our trip to the restrooms, so I wouldn't get cobwxbs on me. When we got to the men's room it was locked.

Kay took me into the central CIWP office. She tried opening the door, and it was locked to. So she rang the bell.

After we were invited in, Kay introduced herself and asked them for the restroom key. She was given the key, and opened the restroom for me before going in herself.

I found a stall in the men's room. Given all the "all"s and "over"s and "place"s, I had to do a lot of rubble-clearing. Kay finished quickly and knocked at my door, and I had to tell her I wasn't finished.

I continued with the rubble-clearing part of my purge ritual, then finally got to that Spaghetti-O's-like "adolall adolover the pladolace". That felt good.

I then did the first "pardon". Say "padolardon" with a feeling of being stricken by lightning. Then do four groups of eight "padolardon"s, each of those four groups at a different longitude of my groin (two points to the left, and two points to the left). Then do four more "padolardon"s at point one, four more at point two, four more and point three and four more and point four.

Then I did another "padolardon" thrust right in the middle, as if that drambuieish lightning hit again. Then I put my left leg up and alternated a "padolardon" thrust on the left of my groin with a "padolardon" thrust on the far left of my groin. I repeated that nine more times. After that, I alternated ten "padolardon" thrusts between the right and far right of my groin, while lifting my right leg and leaning it against the stall door.

Then I did another "padolardon" thrust that captured the sound and feeling of the original -- fulminating. I did four "padolardon"s that went up to about my navel, and then did four more of about that height. Each time I thought the word "pardon", I had to start this final section over again. I did four "padolardon" thrusts up my my mouth, then did one final "padolardon" that twisted over my pubes and around my scrotum before going up out of my mouth.

Then, I repeated the procedure for the second "pardon". I used the toilet, and washed my hands afterwards.

I exited the restroom, and called for Kay. Kay picked me up, and walked me towards the van. She told me where all the trees and bumps and steep dips were every part of the way.

After that, I asked if we were on the highway yet.

"Pxrdon?", said Maria, then corrected herself, "What did you say?"

"Are we on the highway yet?"

"Yes. Highway 4."

I purged off that "pardon" in the back, whereafter we made it to Taco Bell.

I got a hard-shell taco, a Crunch Wrap Supreme and a spicy chicken burrito, then headed back into the van. As I walked out of the restaurant, Marcus grabbed my bag from me. Kay restrained Marcus. La Netta explains to me that Marcus smells the food.

We drove into Hercules with my Taco Bell in hand. "I loooooove tacos", I said.

"Too bad Jolene isn't here -- she would have liked going to Taco Bell", said Kay. "She loves it when you give her a taco. She says they're her favorite."

Kay explained to me that Jolene was feeling ill today, and was staying home. I had thought she was in another group.

As we made it to Subway, the conversation turned to lowfat foods, and how many of them were of inferior quality.

"I got some of that lowfat ice xxxxx", said Lisa.

"Blecchhhh!", I said.

We landed at Refugio Park in Hercules, before getting Marcus out. After purging off many "nice"s and "I see"s, I finally purged off Lisa's dairy-like "ice xxxxx" before taking my pill.

We finished our lunch (everyone except me), then dropped Marcus off. Kay said Marcus didn't present any problems today (I begged to differ).

I got home and ate my Taco Bell. Then I checked the lyrics to Toni Braxton's song -- no "t-ngle"!

Sunday, May 4, 2008

An eagle exe

On Friday we went to Target. I went in holding La Netta's arm, while Clarissa took care of Robert. La Netta asked if I was going to buy juice, but I told her I already had juice from Wal-mart on Thursday, so instead we looked in the candy section. I looked on both sides of one aisle without finding anything I wanted to buy, before Ken discovered that there was another aisle of candy to its left. I picked out some taffy and some pastel mints.

La Netta bought soda and popcorn for Robert. Then Clarissa told La Netta that Robert probably didn't deserve that popcorn and soda. He was asking too many questions inside Target. But at least he didn't ask the clerks where their headphones were.

The next stop we made was to the Pacific East Ranch Market. La Netta looked at some tea, then we went into the portion where they sell Chinese food and I got chow mein, calamari and eggplant.

I ran into one obstacle to getting home smoothly and eating my chow mein. At the park, I saw a sign on their bulletin board with the word "exe". There was a picture of an eagle on that sign.

I looked again. It said "exe out".

I read over and noticed it said "eagle exe out".

Then I read the whole caption: "Keep an eagle exe out".

"Ewwwwww!", I exclaimed.

"What's wrong?", asked La Netta, who was right next to me.

I walked up to the sign and pointed to the caption.

"Oh", said La Netta.

I was able to walk the rest of the way to the restroom without La Netta's help. I purged off the caption until Robert got here, then I walked back out. We were ready to get back in the van. I had purged the K&E words all off, and there were no more obstacles to my eating my Chinese food.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Replies, replies

In April, I got five comments for visitors to my blog. That's more comments then I've gotten in all previous months combined!

I got two spams this month: one from Câmera Digital and one from someone named Miumiu. You know the type: make a generic compliment about your blog, then go and link to their own crap.

Someone named Annetta (username Msnetta) found my blog. She said her nickname is Netta, so she must have caught La Netta's name while searching for her own. Netta says, "Thank you for your generosity of spirit in sharing this. I think you're an amazing person, and I wish you all the best." It's official now: I am an amazing person.

One Rick A. Hyatt wrote in when I mentioned a conversation about Gary Condit. He was given secrets in the army about the U.S. government. He informed me that Gary Condit did indeed put Chandra Levy away and dispose of her corpse. I would never put it above the government to do such a thing. With their suppression of material about what would happen if marijuana were legalized and their 9/11 coverups, that's a small step to the government offing people when convenient for politicians.

I got a response for Tasslehoff_B of the Fourth Kingdom board to my post about earmuffs. It seems earmuffs aren't the panacea that Shirley told me they were. Typical earmuffs can lower the volume of conversation, but you'll still be able to hear which words are being said. If someone says the M-word, or something that sounds like the M-word, I'll be able to hear the "m", and the "e", and the "s". There are earmuffs that make the sounds completely inaudible, but the catch is that they cost at least $200! I don't know if Stan, Pia, my parents or I will be able to afford that kind of earmuff.

Hopefully, this is the start of a new trend and I'll be getting replies regularly from now on.